The year that was ... :-)

I wondered and wondered this morning what my last blog for the year would be about. And now as I walked back home from a last minute errand for mom (did I not mention? I'm home! In Mumbai :) I shall hit my darling Chennai for about 3 hours over dinner on Wed and head back to Singapore to my normal yet wonderful life) it hit me...

After a stable low amplitude life for the last 25 years, this has been one year that came with what I swear was the highest amplitude sinusoidal waves I've ever encountered.... So much has happened and so much of that has been written about and it felt just right to end the year with a recap of my favorite events, stories and thoughts on this blog ... so here goes ...

==========================================

My favorite posts at the outset:
- The importance of conversation
- Things this world should never be without
- People I admire
- wondering if it's too late to live life
- How bosses are so similar to moms
- Things I wonder about
- The very relevant and omnipresent topic of the pressure on marriage

And amongst others....
Started 2007 with telling myself this is what my vision of happiness should be ... good to start with a vision no? :D

Passing on newfound wisdom on making priority calls to be able to enjoy life and do justice to relationships and oneself... inspired by a senior person in my company ...

Enrolling for my first new activity in the year ... the long delayed singing lessons ...

Understanding why they come and then leave ... borrowed wisdom this ...

Discovering the magic that is kids ... (not my own!), reaching 100 and 200 posts respectively, painting

Discovering blessings such as good bosses and wonderful cities to live in, a wonderful mom

Rants on what I judge, why I blog, questions that plague me, quirks im not too proud of and more questions that plague me!

Food posts - Rasam, Pasta and bruschetta, Dum aloo and payasam

A brilliant year end vacation to New York ... right from the airport welcome to the famed treasure hunt

==============================================

They say whatever you're doing at the stroke of midnight lasts through the year, so I hope all of you wonderful people can keep a smile on your faces, hope in your hearts and a prayer on your lips for an incredible 2008 :-)

I love you all and wish you the very best in the year to come ... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! :DDDD

Happy post!!

See this .. hilarious!!! :D

Twiddly Thumbs and Idle Intellect :D

It's been like forever since I've wished I could take a day off work for ABSOLUTELY NO REASON. My day is finally here!!! :D

Remember P and I did a whole weekend of work 2 weeks ago? As her manager I asked her to make up for it with a nice whole day off anytime she wanted and my own manager (bless her soul) asked me to do the same :D So today's my day! :-)

Thing is I'm not entirely sure how to do this. :S I mean I've planned and agenda-ed through several days when there was TOO much to do, but this? This I've never done before! There's still lurking guilt somewhere about not working (Emm, Unpred, you've wrapped up most work for the year! Give it a rest bleddy!) on a working day and since my over-efficient system is not used to empty time, it's taking some time to come to terms with no rules for the day :)

Nothing planned for now .. and going with the flow is the overall theme .. and I'm seeing how I can make that happen ... there's a few things I do need to do before leave for India tomorrow .. pack, shop some, put the house in order and ensure the maid knows when to come back ... also edit Mogambo's reception invite (who will otherwise skin me alive and feed me to the dogs when she sees me next, incidentally AT her wedding!) ..

But broadly, there's plenty of time and as the title suggests, Twiddly Thumbs and an Idle Intellect that will stay put and rest through the day :)

Have a Merry Christmas everyone! And a great new year in case I don't access the blog from India ... I hope to see you all once again next year :D

The Happiness Project

Oh this is absolutely brilliant! :D

I loved this site sent to me by Mr RK himself - in line with his incredible equity as the "active happiness pursuer" :-) I particularly love the latest post so am pasting here for the lazy bums who won't click on the link.

Disclaimer: This site is likely to evoke polarizing responses. For good reason too. I know of people who hate thinking too much about how they want to live life and believe in living it by the moment. I also know people who love actively going out and finding their happiness (the part that's within control anyway). I belong to the latter and am warning those who don't to pass up the chance to visit the site OR read ahead. :)

"“To attain something desired is to discover how vain it is; and…though we live all our lives in expectation of better things, we often at the same time long regretfully for what is past. The present, on the other hand, is regarded as something quite temporary and serving only as the road to our goal. That is why most men discover when they look back on their life that they have the whole time been living ad interim, and are surprised to see that which they let go by so unregarded and unenjoyed was precisely their life, was precisely in expectation of which they lived.”

--Schopenhauer

Beautiful isn't it? :-) It's mostly stuff that's not necessarily NEW but hits you in your face for the first ever time with its impact, cause u've been forced to sit up and take notice. The rest is great too ... I'm browsing through sporadically and relishing the motley collection of tips it hosts on finding and cherishing happiness.

*Dear P ... this is for you .. for calling me a bleddy phool for not blogging for FOUR days ..ok va? *

My favorite brand of people..

People who speak their mind:
No sugar coating. No "this is excellent .. BUT .." No "I agree with you.. BUT....".

No beating around the bush. Just telling it as it is. Spade = Spade. And the abiliity to say "I don't agree with this even if you're senior and more experienced" or simply say what they feel in forums with "biggies" who scare the heck out of everyone else.

The ability to be different from others who walk the line always and tangible fearlessness is the most respectable quality in a person. Even with my 5'8" frame, I SO look up to such people.

Dear G: Help me be one of them when im older. Heck, help me start now!!!


People with unlimited zest for life:
This junior who replaced me in my previous role is one of my favorite people. His zest for life is so inspiring! His philosophy is to make the absolute best of every waking moment. In his words, "Sleep is so useless, i wish it wasn't physically necessary, imagine how much we could do with all that saved time!" :D

Another junior from bschool and now work is very similar. Every once a week, we spend atleast 15 mins talking about our "cool plans" for the next few months. Travel, adventure, dramatics, learning musical instruments, new languages, swimming, interesting people we met, interesting posts on the internet and so on ..

Penguin is another classic example. As much as she may sometimes think her life isn't moving, she's ALWAYS on the lookout for interesting things to do with time. From art fairs to random auctions, the most interesting times in the last 6 months have been had with her :)

Dear G: So long as I appreciate this about others, it'll continue to be personally aspirational. Pls to help...


People who can ENJOY music
Not just listen. But enjoy. Like let the melody seep in and permeate every single pore. Like let your soul dance and laugh from deep inside. Find it in you to sing along. To take the high notes at the right points, and then switch to low just as spontaneously ( A la "pyaar humein kis mod pe le aaya" :D).

Music with Penguin and IceCreamboy is an experience like with nobody else. We sing ourselves hoarse, Penguin and I alternate between foreground singing and background music and have perfect, picture perfect, sync. IceCreamboy, despite zero training in the arena, is mindblowing simply by virtue of his enthusiasm.

Sha and N (esp Sha) are brilliant at how well they know the most random songs SO well. Antra AND Mukhda. Right from Tezaab to Tridev, singing with them is like being in a designated "random song" music show. When you add alcohol to the above, the fun doubles coz inhibitions are let down even more (That's how we got Mundra's pseud BCG friends to join in our rowdy act the night before his wedding :D) and an incredibly good time is had by all.

The thing about people with music is when you see them respond to the nuances of notes, you know they have the ability to appreciate the little nuances of all else. (The converse may not be true but ...) And that makes them interesting to be around for reasons beyond the music. :) I like :-)

Dear G: I may never complete that singing course I started. (My teacher returned to India midway through teaching me, and i'm left wondering if it's a sign!), but this ability to mind-dance to music, I'd like to keep this for life. (Even through the grins from colleagues who sit in the vicinity and are shocked by the constant foot tapping and smiling to tunes.) Thanksverymuch :D


There's so many more,

- Determined never say die people with astounding will power like my mom ...
- People with an enviable ability to balance their professional lives and personal loves like SuperMan,
- Those with the ability to constantly laugh make others laugh like Mogambo and PuppyManohar
- Dependable and rock solid like Penguin .. always on time, always keeping promises ..
- Always dissatisfied with status quo and wanting more out of life .. like my junior RK
- Intelligent as hell, yet surprisingly down to earth like my ex manager A
- At peace with how different they are from what SO many others want them to be, like T

Dear G: I don't ask for everything all at once .. but little by little, slowly slowly, through life can?

I want ...

To be in Chennai now ..

Do the Fisherman's Cove catamaran thing again ..
Visit Dakshin Chitra and make misshaped clay pots again ..
To sit by Besant Nagar beach and quietly watch the waves crash onto shore again ..
Eat oily parathas by the sea side with yoghurt and pickle again ..
Speed on a bike down ECR again (get my leg burnt by the engine again?)..
Eat veggie club sandwiches at Galloping Gooseberries again
Drink the Lime Mint cooler from FruitShop on Greem's road again ..
Walk through Spencer Plaza and shop at Fab India ...
Brunch at Eco Cafe and dine at Cedars ...

All of it ... all over again ...


To see Bombay as I rarely did,
Walk down Marine Drive watching the sunset,
Eat Bhelpuri in all its unhygienic glory at Chowpatty,
Shop for Indian clothes at the quaint Shivaji Park shop Sha tells me about,
Eat at Oven Fresh once again (Burittos, Nachos and Enchlaidas, no less),
Stand at the gateway and feel like an insider among the tourists clicking away ..
Run along Juhu beach at sunrise,
Drink cutting chai at the shop across the Bombay office,
Drink elaichi chai IN the Bombay office,
Sit by my window ledge and drink chai as Lagaan plays in the background,
Watch clouds gather over the hills seen through our window ..
Pick up saris at Nalli, awesome rich colored saris that will make my collection reach the aspirational 25 in the next few years ...
Walk around on the phone, irritating mom as I bump into random furniture along the way, but not sitting down coz I just 'Can't do conversation sitting down!"
Sit in the 2*2 area near the microwave and talk as mum hurries through her chores coz I want to make as much conversation as possible in the 6 days that I'm visiting ...
Talk to my bro about life and such profound matters that don't matter, my bro who adores his big sister and shows her off to his friends (he does! :) i love it that someone does :D)


To be in New York all over again ...

To be picked up from the airport like royalty, garlands and shawls included!
To feel SO at home vs. feeling like a 'visiting guest' ...
To eat mexican food near Times Square with A,
To have A and PM call me "Failure" for saying Queens is "pretty as hell!"
To run around the east village trying to beat the only other team playing the NY treasure hunt with us :)
To party at Cafe Wha again .. to get drunk and sing Christmas Carols on the NY subway and have PM join in as A and G give up and look on and other passengers herald the early arrival of Xmas :)
To walk down the Newport riverside, coffee in hand, earphones plugged in :)
To stand atop the Empire State building and feel like the wind would carry me away with its sheer force
To click 30 pictures and more of the Statue of Liberty and Liberty Island coz it was just so beautiful
To pick up cheap trinkets at Soho again :)
To curl up in Mogambo's couch after a long day and talk to her, have her be persistent and painful and argumentative about how I need to "get out of it" despite my unwillingness to so much as listen ...
To make Dal and have PM agree that THIS is how it's supposed to be made!!! WITH ginger and garlic and a lump of jaggery! :D
To have G's mom ask him "who that nice sounding young girl is" and if she's married and burst into laughter at the many possibilities here! :D
To gape open mouthed at the color burst of autumn as the bus drove across Baltimore to DC ...
To relish the fall colors, the lake and cheese pretzels at Central Park and then yelp in delight on discovering the fountain where George Clooney spontaneously picks up Michelle Pfieffer in "One Fine Day' :D
To eat Ethiopian food and delight with every single bite how "absolutely delicious" it was ..
To have A drop me at the airport and stay until I was PAST the security check and I could no longer see her, cause she could still see me ..
To stay curled up in bed for a whole week after, and suffer from withdrawal symptoms of my most brilliant vacation ever!

I want .....

Woohoo .. Dum aloo ..

(Yes, yes, I'm a poet and I don't even know it! :D)


I sms my mum telling her I made this awesome tasting Dum Aloo (with pureed tomatoes, ground peppercorn, cardamom, almost-deep-fried-in-ghee potatoes, you know.. the works!) and she replies saying "Sanjeev Kapoor haar gaya. You know why? When he cooks, the smell is just domestic, yours is international! :D I can smell it all the way here?"

And when I msged her saying I'm about to put up pics on my blog, she calls me to tell me she was JUST THINKING THE SAME!

Yeah, yeah, madness pretty much runs in the family!

Hamlet EATS!!!!

Hamlet, my pet hamster (scroll down in case you haven't already seen the pink piggy character) EATS!!! OMG!

ER just walked over to my desk when I tried to show off my new pet (Stop sniggering it's rude! You'll know when you have your OWN pet) and as I dangled that strawberry around teasing Hamlet, ER dragged the mouse to Hamlet's mouth and Hamlet ATE!!!

The SPCE will soon be at my door trying to get me for starving the poor thing through the weekend, so I have to go hide. But Hamlet EATS!!! :D

Dear Monday....

Dear Monday,

I have a few wishes for today, please to adjust and fulfill.

1. I want chai. With Amul milk and Brooke Bond chai patti. And i want SOMEONE ELSE to make it for me instead of walking to the kitchen in my sleep deprived state. Can?

2. I want this to end today. TODAY. Inputs blah is fine, but if I have to spend another weekend working on anything, no matter how enjoyable it is, I shall .. I shall ... I shall go back and think of something appropriately scary to threaten you with. Note however, that it will be MEAN and NASTY!

3. At 12 pm this afternoon, I will have reached POG - point of give up - when I throw my hands up and say "I did all I could, the rest is in the maker's hands" and will just go do that presentation. At that point, please to make any sense of attachment and involvement flee my system. I DON'T want.

4. At 2 pm this afternoon, I will reach POF - Point of Freedom. At this point I'd like you to make the unbreakable glass of the 22nd floor windows breakable for exactly 15 mins (before the next meeting starts) so that I can jump out and be a FREE BIRD.
(While you're at it, do NOT seal back the hole in the window until i re-enter from my flight of fantasy. I need to be at the next meeting. P needs me)

Please let me know if you need any clarifications on the above requests. In case of further questions/inputs, I'll be happy to talk over the phone. Note however, that I haven't left a number. If you want it badly enough, you will find it.

Regards,
Unpredictable

Poetry across the seas ...

After PuppyManohar booed my blog's birthday yesterday in a rather insensitive (or so I thought) comment, I msged him asking why, alas, he does not think this worthy of celebration. This led to a rather poetic sms chain which turned out so good, we thought the world MUST see it (and applaud?).

Context: Daytime for Unpred, Night time for PM, Unpred and her teammate P working through the weekend for a Monday deadline, a rare first time occurence, both in Unpred's house working away ...

*images of 2 bleary eyed girls and burning midnight oil float by*


Pasting here for your eyes only
===============================

Me: "Nonsense" is it my blog budday? Alas. :-(

PM:
It's not a birthday. It's a double century!
Rejoice and be merry!

Me:
Poetic boy.
So much joy?
But now i'll go.
Work to do.
Sad sad plight.
But good night!

{Me: (Revelation hitting hard) One full day poetic sms should be done. Talent is going to waste here.}

PM:
Alas dear Unpred please don't cry.
I am making dal fry.
Then i will come online like that.
And then we can put the google chat!

Me:
:) work has to be done alas,
saturday slog is in a different class.
P is here to work with me,
so how still can our chatting be?

PM:
That sounds like a lame excuse.
Office networks are to be abused.
As soon as P looks away,
then It's time to chat i say!
*Unpred inserts disclaimer: Dear boss/ colleague reading this - these are PM's views - not mine!*

Me:
:) poor little child of mine,
with my insincerity she's prob fine,
its my own guilt you see,
won't let me live with me.

PM:
Dear Unpred this i can't help.
If your conscience decides to yelp
everytime you do something bad,
how can fun times be had?

(Unpred by now too engrossed in work, rudely doesn't reciproacte the poetry)

PM: (post an hour or so)
Dear Unpred i've turned out the light.
It's time for you to wish me good night.
Please don't be all work and no play.
After all It's saturday.

Me:
Dear pm i've had my lunch,
work's not still packing a punch,
i do hope to party tonight,
wake up tomo fresh and bright,
i hope you too sleep well,
by then i'll be back from hell :)

==============================================
And that's it for today folks! I'm going back to work!

Say hi to Hamlet the Hamster ..

Scroll down ... yeah right there below the Neoearth counter is my new pet Mr (or Miss? I don't genderdiscriminate when I adopt as you can see) Hamlet.

Pls to say hi :-)

This is my gift to myself for wrapping up 200 posts (come to think of it, all these cheap friends of mine asking me for treats should be treating ME!) and for working through the bleddy weekend (and enjoying it no less - i'm an official freak!)

Blogpost number 200 ...

No hurrahs, no whoops. Just my quiet enigmatic smile (stop laughing I say!!) to accompany the 200th post on this blog.

It's been 12 months of fairly sustained blogging with no motivation to hit any target numbers (I get enough grief from doing that at work . Sigh!), just the pleasure of writing and feeling like there's a good friend to go to every evening (You think that's sad? I think it's self reliant :-)). It's been so much fun rediscovering the "writing" side of me that not blogging for a while actually makes me feel less happy and blogging regularly keeps something inside that thoughtful mind ticking away constantly, preventing any grey cell decay. I like :D

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P passed on this lovely piece of writing she found on the net and put up on her own blog. It talks to me and might be relevant to your paradigm of the present (if not, you'll skip ahead anyway right? :)) ... and would be a nice way to celebrate 200 posts on Mystic Pizza. (PuppyManohar offered to interview me on this special day and we actually did half an interview but my hands gave up on me midway through the chat and I had to retire to bed, next post maybe?)


"
ME : Why are we constantly unhappy?
GOD : Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday.
You are worrying because you are analyzing.
Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.


ME : But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?
GOD : Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.


ME : But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty...
GOD : Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.


ME : If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?
GOD : Diamond cannot be polished without friction.
Gold cannot be purified without fire.
Good people go through trials, but don't suffer.
With that experience their life becomes better, not bitter.


ME : You mean to say such experience is useful?
GOD : Yes. In every term, Experience is a hard teacher.
She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.


ME : But still, why should we go through such tests? Why can't we be free from problems?
GOD : Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons to Enhance Mental Strength .
Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.


ME : Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading...
GOD : If you look outside you will not know where you are heading.
Look inside.
Looking outside, you dream.
Looking inside, you awaken.
Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.


ME : Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?
GOD : Success is a measure as decided by others.
Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you.
Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead
You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.


ME : In tough times, how do you stay motivated?
GOD : Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go.
Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.


ME : What surprises you about people?
GOD : When they suffer they ask, "why me?"
When they prosper, they never ask "Why me?"
Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side
of the truth.


ME : Sometimes I ask, "Who am I, why am I here?" I can't get the answer.
GOD : Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be.
Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here.
Create it. Life is not a process of discovery, but a process of creation.


ME : How can I get the best out of life?
GOD: Face your past without regret.
Handle your present with confidence.
Prepare for the future without fear
"
======================================================
Easier said than done, but brilliantly said nevertheless eh? :-) Happy birthday dear blog :)

So much masala!

Bollywood is brilliant!! The last few weeks have seen a multitude of anticipated movies finally reach eager audiences. Some turned out to be dull duds.. others were just the right dose of masala for a rather deprived Indian populace... here's my ode to some ...

Om Shanti Om:
Wat a fultoo paisa vasool movie this was! A seasoned Shahrukh Khan (except for the Dard e Disco Fiasco - what's with the 40 year old fake muscles), a refreshing face + decent actress, Deepika Padukone (she has my vote for best female newcomer this year), a song with 31 stars and some of the best music in this year (Vishal Shekhar are superb with this one), OSO is as Bollywood Masala as it comes.

Note: If you don't think you'll sing and dance with glee to the star studded 'Deewangi' song and/or laugh at Shahrukh's quick gun Murugun "Mind it" spoof, then kindly stay home, else you are encouraged to go on and indulge in what may be a sub standard storyline, but is a brilliant masala entertainer! :D

Jab we Met:
Ok so I fell asleep during this one, but that had NOTHING to do with the movie! It was ME not IT. (Drat! I sound like I'm breaking up with the movie - "it's ME - not YOU" style) but I swear, if there's one movie this year I've heard CONSISTENTly good reviews about, it's this one.

Kareena delights in her role of an annoying yet lovable girl and Shahid is controlled and mellow as he slowly succumbs to her positivity and allows his being to be infected by her hopeless optimism.

The music is incredibly "foot-tap-able" (if you see me at work mind-dancing away with a grin on my face, I'm likely listening to 'yeh ishq hai') and an interesting combination of slow and fast numbers.

Breezy and light hearted, Jab We Met is a classic case of under-promising and over-delivering. A must watch for anyone and everyone!

Aaja Nachle:
Madhuri makes a comeback after what - 6 years? And how! She plays her age as a 10 yr old's mom and yet retains every bit of the dancing talent that propelled her into stardom in her Tezaab days.

Kunal Kapoor is yummy! (Penguin will tell you how I jolled over this extremely talented, very promising, 'its sinful to look this good' actor all through the movie - but ignore her will ya?) You really just have to see him (and belong to womankind) to understand .... Sighhhh ...

Konkona Sen is adorable as the bumbling simpleton trying to audition for Laila's role and Ranvir and Vinay are their usual hilarious + poignant selves.

And the music!!! Oh the music!!! And the dance!!! We simply COULD NOT sit still through either the title song or the very hummable "Show me your Jalwa" and although we irritated the life out of the uncles and aunties ahead of us, there really IS no other way to enjoy the music! :D

An out and out Bollywood masala movie with the usual quirks and lapses of logic, this one comes recommended for any Madhuri fan and definitely for any fan of her dancing! Simple story of good vs. evil and no terribly evil characters, this one's perfect for a Friday evening viewing. Go watch!

Coming up:
Taare Zameen Par (Aamir Khan as a teacher to a dyslexic child) and Khoya Khoya Chand (the glamour and glitx of the 70's movie industry with the talented Shiny Ahuja) ...


Bollywood rocks! :D

She made it!!! YAYYYYY!!!! :DDDDD

For context, read post below.

Mom just made it past the interview process and is officially promoted to AGM (Asst Gen Mgr) from a Pvt Secy :D It's such a weird feeling to go through for one day what she went through as we took exams and interviews all these years, but I'm SO SO SO proud of her and SO SO excited and happy for the opportunities that lie ahead :D

Icing on cake: She gets to stay in Bombay with her family and around her friends! :-)

Ma, if you're reading this, you make your family soo proud - in SO many ways! You SO deserved this and I hope you realize that as you say your thanks :-)

Hugs and lots of love from us (even the silly son who refuses to express) :D

P.s: Broom and Nm - thanks for your wishes! :)

Mum's day to be nervous .. Prayers please?

It's an important day for Mom today. She's in an interview as I type this message out.

Mum belongs to the generation of people who stayed in their jobs for 30 odd years and to the generation of women who declined offer after offer at a promotion coz it would mean making a tough choice between either staying away from her children or moving their lives to a new city to accomodate her move.

Only now at the age of 53, when her kids are 20 and 26 respectively is she finally ready to take the plunge that might send her someplace else, secure in the knowledge that me and S can both take care of ourselves in the rare event that she has to go away to another city, and a little more secure in the knowledge that this time they'll probably keep her in Mumbai itself :-)

Only I know how much this means to her. I get most of who I am from amma and I know it's never about the cash increments or the designations themselves (I haven't even bothered to get my business card upgraded after my promo to reflect the new status coz I think its such a waste of money and paper - you get what I mean?). It's usually about the chance to do better/ more interesting work that entails more responsibility and all that. My mum's exactly like that.

And although she's usually the epitome of confidence amidst people of ANY generation, she's been palpably nervous the last 1 week and this interview has been top of mind whenever we speak. And me, I'm nervous as hell too :-) I don't get nervous even for my own interviews, and I'm nervous for her. Not cause I doubt her abilities, but coz I know in her mind, the stakes are pretty high if she doesn't make it and she's going to be very upset and still have to put up a brave front coz people hate seeing her down.

I wish there was anything more I could do, but I know there's not much except to pray. And I'm doing that right now ... do send up a prayer for her if you read this anytime soon :-) Shall be much appreciated :-)

I'll put up what happens by this evening ... yeah, we'll know just that soon :-)

HELP?

Hi all,

Let me just get straight to the point. I did something terribly stupid yesterday and I need any help I can get on how to sort it out.

My bunch of friends from bschool is planning a trip to Cambodia-Malaysia early next year and the most resourceful and efficient of us, (emm.. not me as you will discover soon!) SB, has been managing coordination and skeds on this for the last 2 months now. Finally got around to booking tickets on budget last evening. Asked me to collate details on passport numbers, DOBs etc for the 3 of us travelling from Singapore.

Being the ever eager, trying to chip in, enthu cutlet that I am, I jumped on it. "Yes yes! Leave it to me!" I exclaimed and set out on the assigned task. Since Sha and N were on my floor you'd imagine it'd be a pretty simple exercise. Listen, note and email out to SB. Simple, one would assume.

I sent out what I thought was an easy set of details and then set out on the Fri evening dinner et al and came home to discover an email where N replied to my mail saying "Hi, sorry but one '2' is missing in my passport number" and SB had replied saying "Yeh kya kya karte ho tum log? Ab cancel nahi ho sakta, pad gaya Rs 10000 ka fatka".

I just sat there marvelling at my own stupidity for about 10 minutes. Emotions in abnormally large numbers flowed through my little brain - rage at self, more inadequacy at stupidity and carelessness, entry into official idiotdom (this episode having put me on the brink), impending disaster as a result of my overenthusiasm + lack of attention to detail, sadness at letting down friends and helpnessness at not knowing what to do - being some of them.

Now I'll handle the rest on my own, but I need help with the helplessness.

Everyone, anyone out there - If you've indulged in this stupidity earlier - skipped a numeral in the passport number for online bookings on budget airlines, how did you go about setting it right?

- Did you contact the airline?
- Did you just go to the airport and take a chance?
- Did you cancel (GULP!) the tickets and let the money go?
- Did you pray more often, maybe visit a temple / church/ mosque or 2 (As you can see, I'm at the absolute pits of desperation right now) coz I CAN do that (I may be stupid but I have faith in copious amounts!)

Kindly pour in tips on what might help in this situation and I shall be very very obliged. I shall even go to my favorite temple and throw in a prayer or two for you - a full archanai if you so desire. (Just send me your nakashtram details ok?)

And do not judge. You could've been JUST as stupid ok? Ok who AM I kidding! You couldn't. Go on, judge. But HELP!

Move on PuppyManohar, it's ME time!

I'm a sucker for silly tests on the lines of "What bird does your voice most resemble" and "Which of the 7 wonders are you likely to be". In fact, I remember a friend and I once spent about 2 hours on tickle.com doing random personality quizzes and comparing notes! (No - 2 losers are NOT better than 1)

My inexplicable interest in this stuff is for no apparent reason but that it gives me a break from writing long sentences and with some delightful easy peasy clicks on MCQs gives me a detailed analysis that is usually a product of someone ELSE's effort (or imagination!) :-)

So here's the latest I found on Nuts' blog.

And see what it has to say about me.

You Have A Type A- Personality

You are one of the most balanced people around Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you. When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love! You live life to the fullest - incorporating the best of both worlds

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

And I call myself Unpredictable. Failure!

Chennai Superstars and an advert for PuppyManohar

Phunny video contribution from PuppyManohar. Please to see and yenjaai.

Also here's a teeny tiny advert:

Introducing ... PuppyManohar (tadaaahhh!)

- Single, ready to mingle

- Cooks really well (is discerning enough to understand that ginger, garlic and a lump of jaggery do a great dal make, soaks Rajma overnight and cooks it the next day once every week and so on...)

- Good housekeeper (spent 20 minutes cleaning Mogambo's microwave down to the last speck and was visibly frustrated at the hard time it was giving him).

- Is polite (Said "thank you" and "sorry" as i laid out every piece of dinner on the table, every spoon, every plate, every paper napkin was given a thank you, and everytime i glared at him for being so painfully repetitive, the sorry would be repeated)

- Has good grammar (pings me after every post to point out the difference between "its" and "it's" and then apologizes for being a pain in line with aforementioned politeness)

- Is a poet in the making (Check out this and this)

- Has sense of humor (Same comment as above)

- Can take whining with infinite patience (He was Mogambo's flatmate for a year, living with a girl pretty much prepares a guy for all kinds of whining, yes?)

- Owns a car, Lives in the US of A and has a post grad degree (This for potential brides' parents wonly, horoscope matching is frowned upon - so pls do not ask!)

So all ya women out there (hopefully single) pls to tell if interested and Unpredictable shall play matchmaker, an area she has seen many most successes in previously. :D

This is for you Superman ...

Dear Superman,

Mogambo mentioned that you wanted something "jollier" on this blog soon coz the misery is pissing you off / going right above your head :P

Here. This is as phunny as it gets. Its not my own. But you will love.

Love,
Unpred.

P.s: The Yale tee is brilliant thanksverymuch! :D

P.p.s: People who aren't Superman will ALSO enjoy this one. Please to read PuppyManohar's latest. I cannot stop ROTFLING.

Oh also ...

Yes I did take down a whole post a week or so back. I had my reasons for feeling the way I did and writing about it. What I didn't count on was the sheer inability to deal with questions/ advice on the situation. I could've disabled comments, but mum mentioned the blog at some point and I was reminded that she might come visit and get unduly worried. Hence the deletion.

I got some mystified mails / messages from friends asking if I indeed deleted something, or if their eyes were playing tricks on them ... It was me you guys ... I deleted it.

(I also need to apologize to Mahogany and Viraj who had their comments summarily deleted along with my post ... now deleting my own post is something, deleting your comments (mostly written out of concern) is just rude. Sorry guys!)

You can now proceed to read the 4 odd (even?) new posts below. And in addition to focussing on the mediocrity post and getting riled up and commenting on it, please be kind enough to read the one below that and leave me a hug or two!

Dreams ...

My boss tells me if I don't pick up on how poorly I'm doing, I can pack my bags and leave, thanks very much ... I tell her I expected no less of myself, thanks very much in turn! (When I told her this, she went "Dammit, u mean I DON't get to tell you that first?" Fine! Fine! She has a sense of humor!)

My GM walks towards me purposefully in the corridor and demands to know "Where's that analysis your team promised me 2 years back" while I'm thinking "Boss: Just a small detail, I wasn't on your team 2 years ago!" and "Oh I'm so screwed" and telling him "You'll have it next week" all at once .......

My mum and I take a trip to a country I've already visited and sit in a stupid train that passes right by a classroom (yes, say it with me - STUPID!). My eyes zoom in and lock onto someone I know from a while ago and I'm stuck for a reaction as to WHY all this is happening! More importantly, why are we spending good money visiting a country I've already seen!

Another colleague and I are stuck in a building suddenly attacked by a terrorist group and even as we seek refuge in the nearest flat, my kid brother's friends aren't as lucky and get picked up and taken away ... (Of course I wake up scared out of my wits and realize its too early to call mom and check on S .. and too demented sounding to check on his friends)
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All of those in a single night. And the weird thing is except for the last one, I can actually trace a logical link with each one to my current reality. (despite that, the only one I DID act on was the 4th one, called my mom to casually see how bro's doing - 'slogging over his exams and relishing his newfound obsession with coffee', she tells me, 'early signs of aging and caffeine addiction beat being whisked off by terrorists anyday!' I retort to no one in particular...)

This freaky thing with dreams happens often. Hopefully not just to me. The things that are most important/ worry causing/ happiness/ excitement inducing at any point in time tend to occupy my dreamspace. And if it's undesirable kinda space, it takes a good deal of work in my conscious mind to eliminate their evil shadow in my subconscious mind. Hard work, as if the deadlines aren't taxing/vexing enough.

Does it happen to you? Do your dreams sound and look eerily close to some contorted version of your own reality and freak you out? Does deja vu for you sometimes have its origins in dream sequences? Importantly, is there a book out there that helps understand why we have the dreams we do? Tell me about it, will ya?

Life's like an hour glass stuck to the table ..

Brilliant lyrics here ... the bold portion more than any other, rest just for context...utter brilliance! I couldn't have put it this well ever! Here's the song to hear along
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason'

Cause you can't jump the track,
We're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, now.

So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

- Anna Nalick, Breathe (Lyrics)
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I just realized - 2

Mediocrity is a word so many of us avoid with a vengeance, yes? And why so? For the same reason that we all push ourselves beyond limits, sometimes, to the very point of breakdown.

Cause at the end of the day,
Ordinary = not good enough = failure
Not ordinary = better than the rest = success.

And admittedly, it takes courage to move past mediocrity into the land of "better than the rest".

Walking out of a comfy relationship when you think you think you deserve more than the few morsels of someone's attention and time that you currently get by on ...
Taking an exam that 10^5 students in the country take and only 800 can pass, despite being well aware of the odds ...
Taking up that offbeat profession with no contacts, no godfathers, no nothing to help you shine while everyone else you know is still walking the cushy foreign degree road ...

I just realized 2: It probably takes even more courage to live amidst mediocrity with the cognizance that it is indeed mediocre.

You know what I mean? I realize there's millions of people out there who live the lives they do simply because they know no better and in their paradigm of the world, this is as good as it gets. I'm not talking about them.

I'm talking about the people who make choices and even when those choices turn out to be disappointments and life threatens to turn into a mediocre series of days and nights, still stick by their committments and don't run, simply because they have way too much integrity. I'm talking about them ..

Women (or men as the case may be) staying in marriages that didn't happen of their own accord, done to keep families happy (yeah, it happens..)
Employees stuck in mediocre jobs that they have no passion for, because they have families to support and cannot afford to rock the delicate boat that rests on the single income they bring in ..

If that isn't courage, what is?

*erm, yeah... in the battle of the thinking mind vs. sleepy body, the mind wins 1-0*

I just realized - 1

I'm exhausted. Really exhausted. My days have turned into an intangible + tangible nightmare. Tangibly, my shoulder (which takes very badly to stress, swells and becomes a literal pain in the back) hurts like mad and intangibly although I like what I do, I'm at most times possessed by this feeling of complete panic and uncertainty. And of inadequacy. Mostly inadequacy. And that's the worst for the kind of people who thrive on doing well at most things.

I just realized 1: People used to being good at most things have the urge to RUN when they encounter a situation that makes them feel like they're not doing their very best. They'd rather walk away themselves than mess it up any further or be asked to leave. Applies to work and relationships alike.

I want to run for the hills and not come back at all. I'm desperately waiting for December when the deadlines end and life begins. When I can come home ready to take on the evening - blog, run, read through scripts, listen to music, sing along, be an attentive listener over the phone with friends instead of hmming like an insensitive jerk and dozing off as they tell me about things important to them, cook and play host .. all of those things seem so distant with the 12 hour days and the sheer exhaustion in the evenings that leaves me with the will to do little more than flop into bed and fall asleep watching mindless TV ... YUCK! Who have I become!

Of course I won't. It's not that bad and I know its temporary. And that writing about it alleviates about 80% of the misery. Not the backache, but atleast the heartache of feeling like I suck at something!

*Falls asleep muttering "It'll pass .. it'll pass ..."*

How I met the perfect man, and lost him ...

Ok maybe I exaggerate a tad too much. It's an interesting story, nevertheless.

It highlights what a HUGE loser I am in the dating arena and why I probably need professional help. But so long as you get a laugh out of it, my self esteem can take a hike..(whatever little shall be left of it anyway)..right? I do after all, exist solely for your entertainment!

Cut to my last day in New York.

I'm put up in Mogambo's apartment in New Jersey. It's this awfully picturesque area named Pavonia-Newport and it's a bright sunny Sunday morning (even a sun hater like me is forced to qualify "sunny" with an adjective like "bright" when i'm freezing my ass off).

It's my last day in NJ and I'm determined to make the mostestest of it and so head out ahead of Mogambo and PuppyManohar (who are to accompany me to Central Park) to grab a coffee at the local Starbucks and take one last walk alone along the sunny riverside while listening to my current favorite playlist.

Stepping into Starbucks is as lovely as ever with the familiar whiff of fresh ground coffee that delights the olfactory senses, and not just for that.

Behind me in line I've just spotted a very interesting looking guy. Somewhat geeky but mostly intelligent looking with glasses and ruffled hair to complete the look and the hint of a smile to lend that much-sought-after air of simplicity.

I'm just done ordering my coffee, when the girl behind the counter asks for my name. I take off the ear phones and give it to her, my name, that is. And hear the motion repeated with Mr Interesting standing right behind me. "A" he says, nonchalantly. The name instantly rings a bell. Where have I heard it before? Wait! I know! This is the friend Mogambo and Superman kept mentioning - the Newport residing, Rasam and Sepankazhanga cooking boy "A"!!! I look back at him and ask in my most neutral voice, trying not to seem too interested ...

Unpred: Couldn't help hearing your name ....Do you by any chance know a certain Mogambo and Superman who live in the area?

A: (With uber-cool smile still intact) Ummm.... I don't think so ...

Unpred: Ah well... they kept mentioning an A who lives in the area...thought maybe you were him ... sorry bout that!

A: (Smile still on!) That's ok .. there's probably many A's around here

Unpred: I'm sure there are :-) ...

You'd imagine with all my 'smart alec'ness I'd have done something that demonstrated the slightest hint of intelligence/ presence of mind/ courage/ common sense/ any other admirable quality in the vicinity. Alas.

I plugged back my earphones into my ears, picked up my coffee and walked out the door into the New Jersey sunshine to take my solitary walk along the river side.

Yes, I'm just that stupid.

No, I didn't turn around.

Yes, the trio of friends pulled out hair and looked aghast at my utter stupidity.

No, they don't sympathize.

Yes, I tried arguing that he might be non single, even have a wife and a kid.

No, I still don't score any pity points, just continue to get incredulous looks at my pessimism (I call it pragmatism, but try explaining that to lesser mortals! Pah!)

Yes, they looked for him. Mogambo even kept up a steady chant of his name, calling out "A?" .. "A?" ... at the Path station, on the streets, at every floor of the building that the lift stopped at, even dragged me back to the Starbucks while keeping up the chant and shoving me into every nook asking me to run an identity check.

No we still didn't find him and eventually gave up.

Yes I know he's probably an ordinary person who has been deified purely based on elusiveness. But don't shatter my dream eh!

Yes, "Sigh" is very appropriate. "Alas" works too.

P.s: If you know someone by the name of "A" who has a similar story to tell about a stupid girl who ordered a Caramel Apple Spice Latte and ran off with earphones plugged into her ears, you know who to contact!

P.p.s: PuppyManohar - don't even think about it. I'll know if its you using a fake id! Don't ask how. I'll just know!

How to save a life ....

My latest addiction. Spent 7 hours on flight back from NY watching 10 episodes back to back. And then went back to episode 1. Yeah, I'm mad that way.

Watch the video. And read the lyrics if you feel like. You'll appreciate them if you're meant to. :-)

Day 1 in NY - The NY Treasure Hunt

Literally, that's what Day 1 was all about. Apart from some very touching yet very serious embarrassment at the airport, that is!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Before I start, I have to do one quick round of intros to the characters i've already rudely mentioned earlier without an introduction, coz they'll keep coming up in future mentions over the next 7 days :)

Superman:

Called so simply coz his Halloween costume was to be Red cape + Red chaddi outside bluee pants ala the famed Superhero. (Sadly that Halloween bit didn't quite work out for time constraints and we went as ourselves, yes, scary enough anyway).

Mogambo:

Called so cause she doesn't like to sign off with her real name on her comments to my blogs. Also is one 'orre happy most of the time in her own world" kinda individual, which then becomes conducive to the famous line from Mr India - "Mogambo, khush hua".

Mogambo and Superman are currently engaged to be married in March. Superman was introduced to me by a common friend, then his then girlfriend Mogambo bunked in my home for a week on her way to India from NY last year and suffice it to say, we hit it off :) Superman studies close to NY and Mogambo works here. Our once tenous acquaintance is now a cherished friendship, one of the best things to have happened in the last year :-)

PuppyManohar:

Mogambo's friend and ex flatmate from her post grad Univ. Called so coz he christened himself that through his own blog. Don't ask me why. I didn't ask either! Now lives in Virginia and bunks here on weekends with Superman and Mogambo. Nice boy with acutely sarcastic sense of humor. But nice boy nevertheless.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Coming back to day 1:

The NY treasure hunt was the ideal ideal way for a newcomer to get to know NY. So Mogambo signed the foursome up for this fun thing as Unpredictable's official introduction to NY.

The idea was to start off in a bar, get a list of clues and to do's and run around the city accomplishing them, before getting to the next bar which one can only identify if they get all the previous clues right. Then do a chill stop at the bar, do a round of drinks (on the sponsors if u win the round, else pls to pay for self) and continue on the next round. Winner of 2 of 3 rounds gets .. emm .. well .. the joy of victory itself and 2 rounds of free drinks :-)

The best part obviously was the 'to do" list which involved taking pictures of the team doing everything from 'invading a stranger's privacy' to 'getting a stranger to piggyback on one of you'.
Mogambo put SO much effort into taking these pics for this blog, I just hope the post lives up to her vision of how cool it would turn out to be. Most human headshots needed to be chopped off in the process (this intends to be an anonymous blog in case u didn't realize!) but not like you're missing much anyway!

Pitstop1: Kelly's bar where the hunt starts with ALL of 2 teams, including our own :D This is where the hunt begins ... our team of 2 boyses and 2 girlses vs the other team of ermm .. .2 girlses!

Eh, look! That's me pointing to the Kelly's signboard for your viewing pleasure :D

The to do's had us doing all the following:

1. Invading a stranger's privacy: Mogambo decided no better way to do this than to pick someone's nose. IEW i know! But not to worry, she only pretended, although knowing how passionate Superman and her were about winning, she'd have done it for real if needed.

Trivia: Turns out this lady is a state senator, her husband pointed it out to us as we walked away thanking her, and we came home and googled her to find out it was true. Mogambo has officially touched ... emm . .dug .. fame!!! (cant put up pic of senator and all ya!)

2. Getting a stranger to piggyback on you, spraying graffiti on a wall and doing a road crossing thing aka the beatles ...

3. Finding AND wearing sunglasses in the 6 pm darkness, taking a pic with a skull, find a man with a tie (on a hip NY street in the evening, gah!) and holding hands and making fish faces at complete strangers.

And at each bar, Mogambo would provide a status update on the win/ lose situation of our team.

Phew!!! That's the most pics ive ever put up here.. and the most edits to the pics!!! 2nd half of day 1 was spent eating Kathi rolls at this awesome joint and gulping them down in 2 mins to make it on time to Cafe Wha with its live band ... oh and wat a live band!!! Everyone was nice and happy and singy and dancy as the music got better and better and finally came to an end at 11.30 pm.

More adventures included a rather 'happy' me and PuppyManohar singing on our way back much to the amusement of MS, my batchmate from engineering who hasn't seen me in like 4 years now and didn't quite expect to see what he saw :D (lets just say i was a VERY different person 4 years ago!)

We finally ran out of hindi songs to sing and resorted to singing slisha early type Xmas carols on the subway as co passengers looked on with amused expressions. Apparently we also called Penguin and told her we love and miss her. This I have very little recollection of, but Penguin, I hope this tells you how much we do miss you :)

And that's how my 1st brilliant evening in NY came to a rather musical happy end :D

Coming up ... Day 2 ... in the next post .. for now i need to head out and meet Ma'am Liberty and see the famous Ellis Island where Mr Will "Hitch" Smith took Ms. Eva Mendes out on their very 1st date in the movie. :-)

Adios!

More New York .. what else?

So day 1 2 and 3 have gone past in a flurry of activity ... every moment was savored, breath held at the right moments, delight expressed at others, and most captured through the lens of Mogambo's brilliant camera.

(Note on cameras: A camera is like a good partner, it needs to make you look good, everything around you look good and make you feel worthwhile in your abilities to capture all of this beauty. Mine didn't. Forget good, every shaky snap indicates an earthquake in the vicinity. Amma, don't panic. It's just an analogy. No earthquakes, I promise! Anyway, for being such a bad boyfriend, I ceremoniously dumped my Nikon Coolpix back home and am having a very fulfilling affair with Mogambo's Casio Exilim. Life is indeed good!)

And yes, I know its 5.30 am in the morning here in NY, but I dozed off at 6.45 pm last evening after a LONG day outside and woke up to dinner at 10 and slept back off ... so at 4.30 am this morning my eyes opened (literally, not figuratively as in "meri aankhen khul gayeen") and I did the only logical thing a madwoman can do that early in the morning. Started to blog.

I'll follow this up with 3 posts, day 1, 2 and 3 and I promise not to launch into sundry details .. will keep you engaged with more pics and less of my gibberish.

(Ok FINE, I'll try! Get that disbelieving look off ya face!)

Comin up .. Day 1

New York New York!!!

So I land at JFK this morning after a 17 hour flight journey - without inflight entertainment might I add. Apparently the "problem was beyond the control of the air crew and would need ground staff help to fix" but we were thanked profusely for our kind understanding (we didn't bother clarifying it was more like simmering anger, so they went on to assume it was OK to let us sit and ROT for 17 hours with not much to do but sleep and eat).

If it wasn't for how sweet and couteous the TG staff is, I'd be sending them hate mail right now. But having grown to enjoy my own company as much as I do, and with Jen Cox's 'Around the world in 80 dates', 17 hours practically breezed past and we finally landed at JFK.

Here's what makes a trip mostest special. Someone who lovingly comes to the airport to pick you up, although they know you could manage just fine on your own. I tried insisting to Mogambo and Superman that I'd be just fine, and could they pls not wake up insanely early in the morning to pick me up? But turn up they did, with their friend Mr PuppyManohar who brought his new car to pick up (and show off to?) the new girl :P

I do believe, however, that Mogambo had some dark intentions which involved embarrassing the crap out of me, that were her key motivation to turning up at the airport. Look here, who does this to a friend huh?

Superman putting shawl on me as part of official welcome ceremony. It doesn't stop here, Mogambo proceeds to put a 'haar' (neck adornment traditionally used to signify a warm welcome, usually for shady politicians in India as they inaugrate functions and step off flights) around my neck cause you see, the shawl just doesn't count as embarrassment enough!

Pls to see purple color beaded thingie around my neck. The pic doesn't capture the amused expressions of passengers in the vicinity, just as well for me I think! Enough for a day!

On a serious note, I feel so welcome and wonderful despite this being my 1st ever visit to the USA, all thanks to this lovely couple and Mr Puppy Manohar who insists I brought the cold along (its been windy and super cold since this morning suddenly!). Am so so glad I know them, and super kicked to start off on my NY adventures for the day :)

Thanks for your comments so far. Penguin and V thanks for ur concerned msgs :-) I'll keep writing and uploading pics, and any bloggers in the Jersey area who'd like to meet up, do drop me a mail on the blogger mail id and we'll work out something if possible in the 10 days that i'm here :-)

We're off to lunch and then pub crawling on a New York treasure hunt, then dinner and drinks with this gang + Mr MS from my engineering batch, pretty much the only one ive been in touch with ... Looking forward to a chilly yet eventful evening here in NY with lots of dance, daaroo and dhamaal :D

Until the next post ... cheers!

Adios!!!!

Hello everyone! Here I am at the airport free internet counter (what kinda obsessive maniac am I you wonder eh?) writing in the last post for the next 24 hours :) I've left the lappie at home and won't see it for a good TEN days!!! :O But connectivity will still continue with Mogambo's lappie coming to my rescue :)

Still unable to shake off the feeling that I've forgotten something, but that's normal so I'll just ignore it! I'm done checking in and thrilled to report they gave me an aisle seat. Bleddy if it turns out to be one of those terrible seats with a half box in front of my foot in the seat ahead, ill kick someone. (OR ill solpa adjust as barking dogs usually do - but ull never know will ya! ). And in 24 hours, will set foot in New York :-)

I'll post right after I land. Until then, take care, keep posting blogs, comments and the like. I won't be any less of an obsessive blog reader in NY so pls to oblige all my wonnderphool bloggy friends! :D

Adios ya all! NY .. here I come! :D

Status quo

- Searing numbing pain in the hand extending to the shoulder, then neck. OR Searing, numbing pain in the neck, extending to the shoulder then hand. Not sure which.

- Leaving for my annual trip tomorrow. Will continue to blog and upload pics from Mogambo's lappie as I spend the next week and a half in a new city. My 1st ever ALONE trip. Not that i'll be alone alone considering im staying there with M'bo in her house. Still all planning has been done alone with no one to coordinate with - visa, tickets etc. And most touring, travelling within the city etc will be done alone while M'bo is at work.
Very looking forward to seeing fall colors for the 1st time in my life :D Very. VERY!

- Have shitloads to do before then. Workwise I mean. 2nd big project for the year to be done by end November and 1st draft to be shared tomorrow. My brilliant epiphany took some time coming. But its here finally. So a night out it shall be and a ready I shall hopefully be tomorrow morning.

- Still have last minute packing. Books to be picked up from penguin. Last minute check on docs. Warm clothes. Fancy clothes. Essential clothes. Clothes in general .. you get the drift :-) Thankfully can afford to forget the likes of shampoo and toothpaste. Visting a woman is SO awesome :)

Will put up one last post before I fly out tomorrow. And with that my bye byes. And a call to blogger friends in that part of the world to meet up if they'd like :)

And then I'll be on my Jet plane :-) Good night till then!

More questions ...

Are most of us destined to go through utter and total shit before we can attain what's most important to us? Or is it that the things that are toughest to attain end up feeling like the most important just coz they're unattainable?

Do you realize that you can only have somebody's heart and soul if you welcome their sadness just as much as you love their happiness? I hope you understand that when you didn't hear about their pain, it wasn't coz the pain wasn't there, it was coz YOU weren't really there ...

Does karma work within specific spheres of life - like if I help you progress in your career, it'll come back to me only as progress in mine, or could it possibly come back in any other form? Is there even Karma or am I deluding myself? (Though like S once told me, knowing it doesn't exist wouldn't in any way change who we are and what we do, I do hope that's true)

Deciding not to feel angry at someone takes a whole lot of will power. It took less will to stay up nights and study while fighting the monster called sleep, less will than to put up with inanity and malice with tolerance. How does one let go and not let anger find its target? Does the balloon trick really work?

At the end of the day, all said and done, all ties and relations considered, we come alone and go alone right? Then why is it that the things we get most worked up about are related to the people in our lives? Love, death, happiness, illness, pride and jealousy and their kin ...

With the 7 basic notes and their high and lower pitch variants put together, would you have imagined there's enough permutations and combinations to make unrepetitive music for eons to come? So when you and I are born again, not only can we hear Rafi, the Beatles and Pink Floyd, there'll be a gazillion other tunes to keep the mind dazed and ecstatic. Imagine :D Can't wait to be born again, can ya? Join the club! :-)

If you knew this was the last day of your life, what would you do? Who would you call? Apologies, expressions of love unexpressed before, confessions to clear your conscience, new places to visit, old friends to catch up with ... what else would be on the list? Why then are you on that couch watching TV and pushing the little gnawing to do's inside your mind further back into your mind, when you could be LIVING your life right now, exactly the way u'd always dreamt, with the people you'd dreamt you'd live it with? What on earth is important enough to be holding you back?

Why, why, why am I such a curious child, Dear God? Do you realize there's people I've driven up the wall with this habit? People I've driven away? People I'd have liked to have in my life but couldn't hold to my thread of questioning? Did you have a plan with this way you made me? Now's your chance to reveal it, if ever. I'm waiting for the proverbial 'light', kindly note.

Time for some more awarding :)

Its been a few days since Mahogany sent this my way. Time now to stand up take a bow, say thanks to him and everyone else who visits here making me a legit 'schmooze'r coz in Mahogany's words, here's how schmooze is explained...

"With a little help from Google I traced the origin of the Power-of-Schmooze award to Miguel. He's an artist/cartoonist/blogger who lives in New York state. He created the award to recognize bloggers who got noticed, built a reputation, and made new friends."

He does go on to say some rather kind things about my blog, for that and for this award, a BIG THANKS Mahogany!!! I'm touched beyond belief, and true to my word, am finally here to pass this on to the people I think deserve the title in turn. :-)

I pass this award on to those people who started out with blogs read by friends/ family and the like, but have made newer friends amongst their visitors/readers in the blog world. (THAT's what I've always loved most about blogging, award or no award) and these bloggers do it effortlessly :-)

Kusum and Chandni: For so many of the people who visit your blog with increasing regularity and frequency (yours truly being one of them) without so much as knowing you, i admire how you write and how it enables the connections you've made with complete strangers :-)

Broom: I don't know if its the nature of your stories or the way you write them, but you're a true blue schmoozer for the kind of support you've invoked amongst so many strangers :-)

Penguin: Ahem. Let me not go into the 'connections' you've been making on the blogworld. On a serious note though, I think your blog has tremendous schmooze potential tomorrow, despite its infancy today. :-)

With these people, its never the same set of friends/ visitors who love the stories, its a world beyond, and I'm happy to be part of that world :)

Here's to you guys, schmooze on! :D And while you're at it, pass it along!

I'm reeling ..

Not from the bump on the head, no! That's fine now and after having whined to Penguin last night about how i'm scared I might not wake up in the morning (yeah, they don't call me Drama Queen for nothing!) the head hasn't bothered me so far. Looks like I will live after all.

[Side note: A very trusted friend who's fantastic with seeing the future and all told me I'd die when my life was fairly precious to me. I did visit the thought yesterday for one bit to evaluate if my current life state would qualify. Answer was nope! :-) Another thing that gave me confidence I wouldn't drop dead overnight :D ]

I AM reeling however, from this stupid Neoearth thing I've subscribed to. (Btw, why the hell is my sidebar suddenly at the bottom of the page? Some geek type software whiz help!!! No, I don't qualify!)

Anyway, this earth thing keeps moving and by the time I track which exact city/ country the yellow dot coincides with, its gone. I've been trying for a while to place some locations and have consequently acquired a headache and some giddiness (no delight there!). Need to change this to normal neoearth soon. For now, I run to the airport to drop off mom who leaves for India in 20 mins.

Until then, go look at the neoearth counter and share in the giddy feeling, will ya?

As if I wasn't crazy enough already...

S and I were cleaning out the team shelves this morning coz we're moving to a different floor next week. Super-Klutz that I am, I hit my head hard againt a jutting open door of the top shelf as I stood up after picking up something. Its not a deep gash, just a scratch with very little bleeding that stopped soon after. But it left a bump and some notions of nausea. And perhaps tampered with my already demented mind.

You would imagine THAT if nothing else would get me some sympathy from my wonderful friends. Ahem. Not quite.

Excerpts from remarks made by same wonderful friends:
N: (responding to my statement that I hit my head against a shelf and it bled). Whoa! I didn't know shelves at P&G bleed! Strong woman!

R: (in response to me pointing to the bump on my head) Teeheee! You're like Tom and Jerry with those bumps on their heads that jut out like 'POING' (makes the poing sound for added effect). Now all we need to do is hammer it back in like Jerry does to Tom.

Sigh.

In the spirit of leveraging the situation AND getting my revenge, can I claim temporary insanity for physical injuries inflicted on others, just for today?

Boulevard of broken dreams

For best effect, hear as you read
==========================================================
I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's only me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone
===============================================================
Brilliant no? How do people write like this? AND then make music of it!

Lose control? Not really!

The only thing I hate more than (insert the thing I hate most here, Im not sure yet what / who this is) is relinquishing control. Relinquish is such a nice word no? It actually manages to potray the illusion of being in control of the 'giving up of control' process! Who am I kidding. I hate losing control. (Yes, yes, new kids on the block, that's what they call a control freak, no need to wonder!)

My most loved area of work within my functional responsibilities is something I'll call S for the sake of keeping P&G's work anonymity intact. S is the kind of work that involves everything I like doing - working closely with consumer related data, getting into analytics like factor analysis and making sense of consumer choices. All my love goes for a huge toss however, when i have to outsource this piece of work to someone else.

To have them run it through an obscure software where I can only see the input and output and not the internal system , then to depend on THEM for every single follow up question to be answered when i could easily have proved/ disproved the hypothesis myself if it had only been a software that wasn't so friggin exclusive in nature, and then to WAIT until they get back to me to form a new set of questions. GAH!

(As you can observe - Move on F&*%, GAH is here to stay.)

OMG

Its what 7.15 am? Yeah. 7.15 am! I've been awake since 6 am i think. Rattling doors and a switch being turned ON and OFF, ON and OFF (what WAS that anyway?) have kept me awake and blessed me with the chance to start pondering life (and if i would be able to sleep again) since early this morning.

Oh yeah, long day at work yest and then the usual entertaining in the evening. I just thank N and S for taking the pressure off me - the pressure of hosting and pleasant conversation, you know what I mean?

I'm so tired. Seriously. Why does it feel like SO MUCH TROUBLE to host? I'm sick of hearing the criticism and the comments on EVERY SINGLE THING. I woke up berating myself for the limited patience and that i'd make up for it in the next 3 days. Hah! Fat chance!

I'f you're planning tell me to chill / relax, please to take the advice and shove it up you know where. You have to be in my shoes to even begin to understand.

There's SO much to say I don't know where to start. So I won't. (Deep breath, deep breath and let it all out in one big GAH!)

GAH

GAH GAH and more GAH.

i type the foll with my left hand coz ... oh do you REALLY wanna hear the whining again about the hurting right one? ... and the of the 2 ppl id really want to talk to, 1 just fell asleep and the other seemingly hasnt woken up.

So i dont hinge a lot on the men in my life, but WHERE ARE THE WOMEN WHEN I NEED THEM THE MOST???

And my dormant vile temper has to make its appearance just when i have guests visiting.

:(((( :'(((((( :(((((((

GAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Insights into the hurting hand...

I write this post with a speed I would normally say "Thooo" to. This unexpected, yet necessary action follows from R's brilliant theory on why my hands hurt so much at the end of every week.

Conversation in bus on way home:
Me: *Having complained ALL evening of heightened pain in the hand* The pain is throbbing in a very scary kinda way. I'm quite scared :-(

R: What did doc say?

Me: See *this* nerve leading from the forearm to elbow? Doc said I've angered it.

R: Angered as in can only be appeased by dancing around bonfire on a full moon night?

Me: Angered as in .. (oh forget it... not getting any real sympathy from this boy!)

R: Ok ok ... don't get all angry ... let me think ...*looks out of bus with intense pondering expression on face while I'm contemplating how life without blogging will look*

R: I know what it is!

Me: What what is?

R: The anger.

Me: !!!!

R: You know what your problem is?

Me: That you change topics effortlessly and confuse the crap outta me on a Friday night?

R: *Sighing at my inability to grasp profundity of his wisdom and the seemingly apparent logical linkage between his random sounding statements*

R: Your problem is - you type as fast as you think

*Lets me munch over this for a while*

Me: *not making any progress on the logical linkage as you can very well see. He must have seen it too*

R: The problem *implied "You poor naive ingorant Unpred" to be inserted here* is not that you type a LOT, its that you type too FAST.

Me: *implied "Oh wise master" to be inserted here* And how do you conclude that?

R: *Now wearing full on professor expression* See my hand *mimics typing motions with his hand* See how the movement of the thumb affects that nerve, so when your movement here is really fast *speed of mimicing motions assumes alarming speed* the nerve is seriously pissed. Hence it hurts. Net recommendation: Don't stop blogging. Just stop typing FAST. Its quite stupid. *For added effect so the advice sinks in*

Me: *All sorts of Graham Bell devices going ON inside my brain* OHHHH. YAY! Ok i'll try tomorrow then. This typing slow thing.

R: *Full givvvvuuuup happening* Can't you NOT blog for 2 days? Just stay away from the laptop OK? Or i'll take it home with me.

Me: Gasp! *Sulking and on cusp of whining* FINE. I promise. I won't blog over weekend. Promise. Just don't take it away from me ok? *Sad pleading expression on face*

R: Good. Very good. Go entertain your mom over the weekend and REST the hand!

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Before you say anything, give me SOME credit, atleast i'm breaking my promise SLOWLY. :D