Thursday, April 24, 2008

Teacher teacher, I have a koshtin! Ok, not just A koshtin ...

1. Why can happiness or sadness not come in the manner of a phased sine wave to me and the people I love most?

Why is it that when they're in the midst of a wondrously happy phase in life, they have to deal with my abject sadness, and when I'm going through delirious joy, they've outgrown their happy phase?

I'd like to, for once, not weigh down another person's joys with my grievances in their happy times OR refrain from expressing my own crazy happiness for fear of being insensitive cause they're going through shit in life during my happy phase.

2. Why am I constantly hungry these days?

(No Nayak, it's not what you're about to say! *That*
isn't possible given my current life situation. Bah!)

No really. It's not funny when you hear what I have eaten only since this morning:

1 Banana
1 tomato and cheese sandwich
2 cups of tea
1 cup of dal fry + rice
1 muesli bar
1 apple
1 more muesli bar...

...and I'm now looking forward to my next meal which will be a 1/2 vodka pasta + 1/2 veggie lasagna + 1 glass of wine (Yes, I meticulously plan the dinner menu even before I step into the restaurant that Penguin will treat me at, you have a problem with that?)

all this in less than 18 hours from sunrise to sunset. Somebody STOP ME!!!

3. What is with the sweeping generalization on Long Distance Relationships (henceforth referred to as LDRs out of pity for my ailing hand) and how they must be avoided cause they're a bad idea?

I get that there are SOME people who cannot deal with distance, who need the other person to be around them from the start to the end of a relationship, some others who cannot express themselves from a distance resulting in a communication breakdown (no really, what else exists when you can't talk?), others who cannot bridge contexts between them and another person coz their context is too strongly rooted in a location, not in their equation with another person, others who value the physical factor in the equation too much to be able to survive without it and so on. I understand that there are some people who are fundamentally ILL CONSTRUCTED to deal with LDRs. I get it.

But that's the same as any other thing in this world no? There are people who can do long hours, others who can't. Those who are 'morning people', others who do nights better. We deal with grief differently, we manage our finances differently... we're all geared to do different things differently. Some better and some worse than others.

The same logic applies to LDRs no? Then why ask EVERYONE to shy away from them? Why make them the basis of NOT establishing relationships with amazing people and taking incredible equations to fruition? BAH.

4. Why do too many of us not wonder about what we really want to do with life?

It's never about time. There's ALWAYS enough and more time to think about this. There's just this laziness that lets you inertly rest on a couch and watch meaningless television, or drift into random meandering thoughts, but keeps you from thinking about and acting upon what would really bring you the satisfaction that'll have you wake up with a smile every morning and sleep with satisfaction every night.


5. How in this day and age can we still talk in terms of "He's a Brahmin", "She's not"? "He's a marrying lower than his class" and blegh like that?

Really, how does education and evolution do nothing to cleanse our minds of petty distinctions such as caste and sect?

I still hear stories of parents creating a fuss about letting their kids marry beyond their caste/ language/ religion/ social class and blah.


You'd rank your offspring's happiness and incredible (which is rare to boot!) equation with another person, LOWER than your own petty beliefs? If they're making what you deem a mistake, that's really their call to make no? And just as likely across caste and language as it is within. Then how can you possibly ask them to give it up?


Ok, I have a terrible ache in the shoulder, back and the general neck region (I think the worst is when you can't even pin point where the pain is located!) so I think I'll head out to that nice free dinner the Penguin has planned to treat me to. *Smacks lips in anticipation*


Tuesday, April 22, 2008


Life's been busy and full of surprises, and deadlines. (Dear blog, I'm sorry I ignored you for so long, how will you ever forgive me?)

Things seem to be easing out somewhat, though, and hopefully I'll finally sort out this hand thing by seeing the physio this weekend. I've put it off for over a month now, despite all my claims to being disciplined and organized recently. Sigh. I need the fearful threats of Penguin to make me do this sooner than later. This is why I have friends. To twist my ear and stop me from messing up my life.

Now you know.

Anyway, fun things have been happening in life. So updates follow.

The play's coming along beautifully. We recently did full runs of each short story, and it looked much better than I'd ever expected! :) One of the actors kinda dropped out and guess who steps in to do her part? Yours truly!!! :D Now, it's a pure voice led role (meaning no one gets to see my pretty face, alas (but hurrah, some might say?)) so the limelight hogging won't be all that literal, but hello, the lucky audience gets to hear my sexy (ahem, stop coughing, it's impolite!) voice. So all's good!

The West Coast trip is now looking better than ever. For starters, the wonderful Penguin has decided to accompany me on this 2 week getaway! :) I get to have her delightful company on all flights and her abilities to find discount stores in every nook and corner (She's discovered this one place in NJ which has ALL big brands under one roof. I mean, I seriously and genuinely LOVE this woman!!!).

Also, I get to spend my birthday eve with some of my favorite people in the world in a city I absolutely love - New York!!! :D I desisted writing about this one for a while cause I was so scared I'd jinx it horribly. But now that ALL tickets are booked and only Penguin's Visa remains to be acquired, it is indeed OK to put it out there. (Evil eyed people, if any, pls pls don't jinx this? This trip means a hell of a lot to me. Ktnxvermuch!)

Cooking's been fun as well. Now that the flatmate's vanished for some time at length, the kitchen's all mine to cook in and keep clean. I've been eating in more than ever before, and my new found enthusiasm to pick up interesting groceries is good news for my tummy (and others', when they're invited over to partake of the awesome meals :D), but is seeming like terrible news for my hand which basically wants to cringe and fall off every time I put it through the rigmarole of chopping and cooking.

Blogging (my pride and joy, in case you didn't know already) becomes a pain (literally so) on the evenings that I choose to cook, and I consequently cannot type chat or even leave comments on people's blogs (My reader shows 6 new posts on various blogs today, and i managed to comment on all of 2. GAH!!!). So well, despite taking my meds almost regularly and wearing that funny neck collar when typing from the pathetic work table at home, the hand seems to be doing no better. Sigh. Maybe the coming 2.5 months of no travel and no lugging around heavy baggage (ah dhang u?) will do me some good. :-)

And finally, I'll leave you with the star achievement of this evening, my 1st time ever making Dal Fry inspired by a dear friend (You piss me off, and I give you credit on my blog. Stippid you and stippider me wonly!). See and crave. (No? Ok!)

And now cause my best friend, the allergy induced cold is sitting inside my nose, giving me a massive headache and putting me to sleep, I shall. Sleep, that is.

Night, everyone!

Monday, April 07, 2008

The pink of dawn ...

It's pretty early. By my usual standards. Today is an aberration for work reasons, and I've been up since 5 am, seated by the window for the last 2 hours.

It's weird, but I never quite saw dawn the way I see it this morning. The sky was pitch black at 5 am and started to *lighten* up at about 6. Gradually more colors filled the horizon, many many more shades than I'd known of or seen in a long time. And now as of 6.53 am, the sky stands at a certain hue of peach/ pink as the sun bides its time coming up.

It's all simply gorgeous, for lack of non-trite adjectives.

It's true. You can't appreciate dawn, unless you've been watching the horizon since the time darkness prevailed.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Sunday mornings ...

There's something incredible about Sunday mornings. Peace inducing and reassuring.

Normally they're awesome cause I have the chance to cook up a nice breakfast unlike the usual hurried bread/ cereal that I gobble down on weekdays. And good hot tea. And at a reasonable hour like 9 am, the wonderful Penguin will sms to check if I'm awake and then proceed to call me.

The awesome thing is, even if we've spent Saturday evening together, there's enough and more to talk about (it's such a special thing this ability to converse without pause even after knowing someone for months and months!) always! And so the 1st 1 hour of the morning is spent in chatter, until a parent calls from India to remind us we have families and hello, can we speak with them every once in a while?

The rest of the day in the last few months has passed in drama practice, which is kinda fun in its own way, except for having to travel halfway across town. And evenings are gloriously spent indoors, online or reading or meeting up with a friend. All in preparation for the week ahead.

I remember waking up this morning, for e.g., and after pondering on how I'd woken up on my own unlike usually with an alarm of sorts, I suddenly had this fit of panic wondering what day it was. The joy at having dismissed the possibility of weekdays, and realizing it was a Sunday is immeasurable and somewhat indescribable!!!

And a glorious Sunday at that!

Brunch plans at Marmalade Pantry with my favorite women in this city and then 5 hours of play practice (some work, but let's not go there, shall we?) followed by simple dinner at home and sound sleep before the week ahead. :-) Worth looking forward to no?

Yes, I know Saturday mornings are better. I know even Saturday nights are better. But I'm turning into an optimist against my own will, and I don't need you getting me to revert to cynic mode. So all you cynics, SHOO!

The rest, say it with me - Sunday mornings rock!!! :D

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Marching on ...

In the last 2 days, I have...

1. Paid off all pending bills.
2. Applied for reimbursements on all medical expenses in the last year.
3. Paid people money owed. Rent, utilities, other stuff.
4. Spent the requisite time on play practice
5. Wrapped up "The Time Traveller's Wife" and started on "The Glass Castle" in keeping with the "1 book every 2 weeks" resolution.
6. Gotten back to running and gymming. (I'm hurting all over. It's been a while, clearly. OUCH)
7. Said my prayers and thanks every single day. Morning and evening. Without fail.
8. Stocked up on groceries and cooked diligently almost everyday.

Within the week I plan to...

- File taxes
- Apply for my 1st ever personal credit card. (I've already figured out which one)
- Cook the 1st of my 10 new recipes for the year - either Koftas or Gojju. We'll see which. I'll put up pics as always.
- Get play practice on Wednesdays started and regularized.

Workwise ...

- I'm on track to be in office by 8.30 am every morning. I'm hoping to make this 8 am in the next 3 days. And leave by 6 pm. At ANY cost.
- Things look busy, but on track to wrap up most major things within the next 2 weeks I think. Atleast all of it is marked into my calendar in planned hour by hour slots - a throwback to my Class 10 and 12 prep schedules.

On the whole...

I'm being a good child - disciplined and meticulous. Like mom taught me to be.

Bringing back order into my chaotic life. Starting my days with a smile, and sleeping with good thoughts on my mind. Like I've always wanted to.

Someone pat me on the back, please?