Friday, October 30, 2009


Does the fact that we love Fridays so much mean we hate our jobs through the week? Is there a correlation between the two? Really? Coz then it means... uh. LEt me shut up now. I do enough damage to myself in this space.

I've been recently fascinated by the Myers Brigg model of categorizing people types. Our team at work once took the test collectively and discussed what the test threw up. It was fascinating for several reasons. Some people were so in the gray area of the various dimensions (extroversion vs. introversion, planning vs. non planning, thinking vs. feeling etc) that they simply couldn't arrive at a conclusion on who they were. Others had profiles that theoretically made them quite ill suited to work in this company. And with some others, who had the perfect P&G profile, you could just tell that's the profile they'd have fallen into.

Here's a brief description of the dimensions so you can get some idea.

The ideal P&G profile is apparently an ESTP - Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking and Perceiving (Outgoing people who can live in the moment and use their minds more than their hearts). And guess what I turned out to be? An ENFJ. With a 96% on the F.

Pah! So basically I'm almost the exact opposite of the kind of people who could make it big in P&G. Apart from, of course, the E (which I score like a 4% on - i.e. I am probably a recent convert from I to E, AND I probably reserve for a select set of people).

I know you're probably thinking it's stupid to conclude my lack of fit for a job based on what some personality test tells me.

The truth is this. For most part of my work, I like the ability to solve problems on my own. I like the people I work with. Most of the time anyway.

But. BUT. It bothers me, this whole process of aligning with a zillion folks and finally seeing my proposed solution executed in a watered down version of its former self. I don't even know if the consumer gets what I thought she wanted by the time a million people have seen it and interpreted their own version of "what's best for the consumer".

I used to take it personally at first, and suffer in the process. It’s only recently that I’ve begun to detach from the rightness or wrongness of it all. For now, I do my job, and I’m happy if I can do it well.

It’s the same with the whole feeling vs. thinking thing. Being an F person makes me more prone to taking things personally. And more prone to avoiding conflict. Avoiding is a light term seeing as I LOATHE conflict from the bottom of my heart. But then I am my mother’s daughter, so what could’ve turned into a doormat trait, is now a decent balance of being able to stand my ground and running FAR away from the situation when needed.

So each of those days I come here and whine about my job? It’s not so much how much I hate the work itself. It’s more hating how it makes me feel (useless, incapable, non smart, evil slave driver etc etc).

ENFJs (aka people like me) are apparently best suited to jobs that involve caring for and nurturing others - nursing, teaching, counseling, hospitality etc. And guess what my life long dream has been? To teach kids. My happiest moments in the week are when I read to a bunch of 4-6 year olds at the library and they look like they’ve had a brilliant time. Better still when their parents walk up to me and ask if they can get my number, if I do this for a living, etc.


I don’t mean to whine. My job probably gives me everything I need in life right now. Security, the ability to pay my EMIs, challenges for my restless mind and a chance to work with some fantastic people. I appreciate all of that. The choice to walk away will be a tough one to make, if I ever do.

But I constantly wonder, if I'm settling for less. Not as much coz I’m doing a job that isn’t perfect for me, but more coz I am NOT in a job that I COULD be perfect for.

Know what I mean?

Thursday, October 29, 2009


Really, my dreams deserve a post all of their own. It's funny how their occurence is strongly correlated to whether I am IN this country or not. The side conclusion is also that I don't have them when I'm sharing a house with P, but let me not get all sentimental now.

Before last night, there's been goons pushing me and the Penguin to escaping from bathroom windows, blindness before an exam, make up aunty at my wedding not turning up and other stressful situations

Last night saw more other stellar performances:
1) My neighborhood is plagued by a tiger which later turns out to be a man who changes into tiger ever so often, on demand. Junoon, anyone?
2) Once again make up person (this time uncle not aunty) at my wedding is late so I’m freaking out. Then I realize it’s a double wedding with a distant cousin I don’t even like. No make up suddenly seems like a vacation in comparison.

Reality by(/i)tes: My homeopath seems to think there is some correlation between how frustrated I am with my 'married' living situation (aka P and I talking 10 minutes on the phone everyday and hoping that constitutes a marriage, for the moment anyway) while I try to convince her that it's purely frustration that has to do with HOW LONG this distance has taken to resolve (we're still a month away from resolution, let's not forget). Nothing to do with being married or not. I'd have liked to share a roof with him even IF we weren't married.

Obviously my subconscious is trying to tell me something. For now I choose to read it as "the best way to drown your sorrow/ frustration is to drink lots this weekend". Anyone have a better take on it?

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Happy Pizza!!!

Ooh that name is about to bring some very random hits to this page because of Cambodia and all. Although what this is really about is a happy Ms. Tic.

After being grumpy and whining about life and work and life and more work for about 3 weeks, even I have to tire of being a cynic and turn a new leaf.

So there. Something magical about the weekend that was Diwali, and nothing at all to do with the actual festival has had me smiling ever since. It just feels like things will work out one way or another. Like every good thing that I might have done in my 28 year long life might finally have a chance to pay me back now, and that it ACTUALLY WILL!

For starters, Wake up Sid was watched. Twice. And liked very much. The wedding sari was worn to a Diwali party the Penguin and I threw for friends. And what a party it was! You know how there are things men hate admitting they love to talk about? Yeah so when they're around women who 'force' them to discuss these things. they give the women a run for their money. As soon as the topic of "your ideal mate" came up, we heard groans from around the room, which over the next 30 minutes turned into an intense probe session mostly led by the men. Oh well. They had fun, girly or not. And that's all that matters no?

Then other good things happened. Library visiting. A 3 day weekend I didn't know about until the evening before. Lots of chill time with the Penguin which hadn't happened in very long. Catching up on Filmfare and chick lit reading. Eating yummy food things. Meeting the old flatmate and her mother. Really nice comments on the wedding pics. A warehouse sale and goooood shopping. And so on. :)

The cold was the only thing that didn't get better. The nightly blocked nose has persisted through the week and led to bad dreams every night. Ranging from the Penguin and me trapped by goons and trying to escape through a bathroom window (who were we kidding? it was the 20th floor!) to me going completely blind except for flashes of light all around me, they were surreal and freakishly correlated to not being able to breathe properly. But I'm starting on a dose of strong meds tonight, and hopefully sweet dreams (preferably none) will be had tonight onwards. YAY!!!

That's all from me folks. If my hand stays good, I'll blog more often. :)