Monday, June 25, 2007

Fraud post i agree .. but if u like poetry ... here goes ..

Afterglow by INXS ... the song talks to you .. even if ur not listening ... powerful .. very powerful ..

Caution: Only for the poetic at heart .. and goes without saying, u need a heart first :)

Here I am,
Lost in the light of the moon,
That comes through my window.

Bathed in blue,
The walls of my memory divides,
The thorns from the roses.
It's you and the roses.

Touch me and I will follow,
In your afterglow.
Heal me from all this sorrow,
As I let you go.
I will find my way
When I see your eyes,
Now I'm living,
In your afterglow.

Here I am,
Lost in the ashes of time,
But who wants tomorrow,
In between,
Longing to hold you again,
I'm caught in your shadow.
I'm losing control.
My mind drifts away,
We only have today.

Touch me and I will follow,
In your afterglow.
Heal me from all this sorrow,
As I let you go.
I will find my way,
I will sacrifice,
'Til the blinding day,
When I see your eyes.
Now I'm living,
In your afterglow
[in your afterglow].
When the veils are gone,
As I let you go,
As I let you go.

Touch me and I will follow,
In your afterglow.
Heal me from all this sorrow,
As I let you go.
I will find my way
I will sacrifice,
Now I'm living,
In your afterglow.

Bathed in blue,
The walls of my memory divides,
The thorns from the roses.
It's you who is closest.

Thanks to the person who sent this to me .. amidst so much else that uve passed along for the last few months :)

Saturday, June 23, 2007

One of those .... "what on earth am i doing here" posts ...

Passed on to me by Mr Adrian Manahan ... a copy paste job this, but a very insightful poem nevertheless that most of us can identify with.


Tired of weaving dreams too loose for me to wear
Tired of watching clouds repeat their dance on air
Tired of getting tired of doing what's required
Is life a mere routine in the greater scheme of things

Through with taking roads someone else designed
Through with chasing stars that soon forget to shine
Through with going through one more day - what's new
Does my life still mean a thing in the greater scheme of things
I think I'll follow the voice that calls within
Dance to the silent song it sings
I hope to find my place
So my life can fall in place
I know in time I'll find my place
In the greater scheme of things
Each must go his way, but how can I decide
Which path I should take, who will be my guide
I need some kind of star to lead me somewhere far
To find a higher dream in the greater scheme of things
The road before me bends, I don't know what I'll find
Will I meet a friend or ghosts I left behind
Should I even be surprised that You're with me in disguise
For it's Your hand I have seen in the greater scheme of things (REFRAIN 1)
For Yours is the voice in my deepest dreams
You are the heart, the very heart
Of the greater scheme of things (REFRAIN 1)
Why don't we follow the voice that calls within
Dance to the silent song it sings
One day we'll find our place
For all things fall in place
For all things have a place
In the greater scheme of things

Do you ALSO take the people who love you the most for granted???

Cool article a friend passed on ... i totally stand by the author's views. Although close relationships such as inner circle friends, families and spouses are tempting to take for granted as we go along being nicer and politer to the new people we bump across in life, what we rarely realize is how critical it is to provide sustenance even to the oldest and most familiar of relationships ... Read on ...

Friday, June 22, 2007

Decode this ...

Yes, there's exhaustion, but there's also been some of the coolest professional moments in the last month or so .. moving to a new business is exciting to say the least, my brain cells erstwhile feared dead seem to have woken up and are kicked about their 3rd birthday or so :)

There's been loads of shopping and spending time with loved ones. Movies, hitting hot spots in town, eating out and all of tht ...

There's been recognition at work, starting out on new ventures (like a new blog) and singing lessons seem to be going well with me putting in tons of practice before classes ..

And yet the thing that brings the biggest grin to my face each time i think about it is the thought of a 3 year old Mr Orko from my condo this morning, looking at me and screaming my name with delight ... "SUDHAAAAA ... I'm going to school... by bus .. do u wanna come with me??" .. too bad i had to say no coz its the only bus that doesnt take me to my work place .. and i sadly declined ... but he remembered moi name :) Or the thought of the 2 Yr old Mr Ronit who leaves his nanny and fails to notice his dad back from work coz he spotted his cool girlfriend 'Saada' across the lawn :)

Methinks that teaching career idea's been in the oven too long now :) If there's other implications, im too scared to think about them!!! :D Waddaya think???

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Exhausted !!!

Having a guest over, no matter how much u love them, and not being on leave, is the shittiest thing u can do to urself and them. If ur guilt prone like i am, it jus makes things worse. To add to it all if ur transitioning from one brand to another and handling deadlines on both, then god bless you. Welcome to my world!!! 9 to 6.30 in office being onboarded and onboarding others in turn.... wondering if my bro's getting thoroughly bored at home without me or a laptop or anything gr8 to do ... then rushing home ... taking him out ... coming home late at nite ... forgive me if ur one of the ppl who've pinged me on gtalk or so and gotten a rude brush off ... im SO TIRED!!!! AARGGGHHH .. i cant wait for next Friday ...

Monday, June 18, 2007

Things the world should never be without ....

Personal favorites, add on through comments if you think i've been dastardly enough to skip something obvious.

- Friends, the special few who bring a big big smile to your face simply through a thought, even from a distance, even across the miles, through the incredible words and moments you've shared with them that have seeped into your very system and will never leave you in your darkest or brightest moments :)

- Family, you can count on them even when you think you're completely and totally alone and lost, they reenter your life, the same people that you believed you didn't appreciate enough and hence had lost, little did you know they were standing around waiting silently for you to need them again, they know you like no one does and they love you more than anyone ever can :)

- Books, especially those with the ability to transport you past your current reality into a magical world that was otherwise deemed unattainable. The world of all things impossible - perfect men, unconditional love and fat free cheese to name a few :)

- Music, the kind that can permeate through the thickest skin, bring to 'tapping point' the most immobile toes, decorate the most inexpressive face with the rare smile, that can bring the best moments of your life flashing through your mind through closed eyes like in a motion picture .. and you can rewind and play and rewind and play as much as you like :)

- Rains, of all kinds, the light drizzle that sends tingles down your spine with its feather like touch, the yet to come shower that holds the clouds at that brilliant gray and the trees at an equally brilliant contrasting green and lets the breeze waft past gently waking up senses that were asleep so far, the heavy downpour that threatens to wash you away with its sheer force and yet leaves you standing having renewed your respect for nature and its power :)

- Chocolates, plain, with nuts, with fruits, with caramel fillings, white and brown and black, that guarantee an instant endorphin rush without having to trudge your weary system uphill on that treadmill :)

- Yellow lamps, that mimic a new sunset in my room every evening, that shed just enough light to illuminate without revealing too much, that like the perfect woman find the right balance between spilling secrets and keeping them, to concoct the ultimate potion of elusive mystery that keeps you captivated forever :)

- Words, the most magical thing of all, seemingly random permutations and combinations of letters that when in the right hands, can convey love or hate, anger or glee, disappointment or jubilation, that sometimes, in writing, can say so much more than phone calls or facial contortions, that can touch the hearts of complete strangers with an intensity rarely fathomed, that can build bridges when used well as much as they can burn them when misused.

And truly, my words make me who I am, especially to you, the reader, sitting across a screen, wherever you are. They paint a picture of me more vivid than the one that even the eyes in my vicinity can see. Simply cause I let you see and whatever I will you to see. Imagine what a power that is :)

Sunday, June 17, 2007

On the brink of involvement and detachment ...

I remember someone telling me when they first set out to befriend someone they'd just met, they met with utter rejection. (I'm talking platonic woman woman friendship here, dont start thinking romance). When asked why, the latter explained that she wasn't cut out for friendships that didn't last long or for people such as the former who seemed to flit from person to person, making and shedding friends along the way.

To conclude the story, my protagonists S and P did end up becoming the best of friends (after S explained that her exuberance and exoverted nature didn't mean she was just going to make and shed P as a friend) and it was a happy ending. But the question it leaves behind is how and when in our dealings with people do we know where that line is and when it deserves to be crossed?

You know the line right .. i fancily term it the brink of involvement and detachment. That fine moment when you decide to stop being objective and start getting affected.

With work situations I've rarely faced an issue but I know of people who are genuinely bummed and upset when say an ad doesn't test well, or when shares drop on their brand or when their concept doesn't score a Top something. I love my job, but i don't think I'm involved with it. That choice comes easy.

In friendships, that happens to be the point where you really and truly start to involve yourself in another person's intricate issues and make them part of yours in turn. That choice comes easy to me as well. Friends rarely disappoint. Even when they do, you have the option of cushioning it with the love of other friends. Not to trivialize disappointment over failed friendships, but somehow you're never really putting all your eggs in one basket with friends, if you know what i mean.

And what when you DO put all your eggs in one basket? How do you decide then, when to cross the line?
From being an objective outsider evaluating the situation to taking that leap of faith and getting involved despite the multiple risks involved?
From staying insulated from being hurt and bungee jumping headlong into murky water that can freeze to ice without warning?
From stepping beyond the safety of your curtain as the acquaintance with no strings to the friend who shares joy and pain to the center of somebody's delicate universe?

So many questions in one little head .. and so few answers ... maybe the wisdom of my kind friends is supposed to jump to my rescue right this moment! :D

Monday, June 11, 2007

I feel bluuuuuuueeeeeeeee.... :-(

When in IIMB, we had tests every saturday. After i got back to my room post a mindboggling quiz, which i was usually pretty sure i'd flunk, know what id do to get an instant feeling of achievement and exhilaration? Id CLEAN!!! Id bring in the broom and the mop and clean out my room myself. We had the age old 'bai's to help us, but i liked to keep my room clean myself. A very Monica like trait that, i know! :-) So id sweep, and wipe and mop and clean until my room looked shiny and i looked haggard enough to step in for a shower that was meant to cleanse the remnants of a bad test right out!!! :)

I haven't done that ever since i got here to Singapore coz the temptation was somehow always to outsource the cleaning. Yesterday, although, it felt like too much gunk of all sorts had accumulated in the system in general. So thought id do some cleaning on my own. Enlisted the help of a very able Ms Rose (the household help) of course, and we cleaned out my room together, muchas satisfied i was at the end of it all!!!

And now i have the worst cold in the world!! :( I forgot completely that im allergic to dust, and vigorously rubbed away dust balls from the mattresses and shelves. And in the process gave myself a terrible headache, a swollen and runny nose and a terrible demeanor that threatens to devour anybody who disagrees with anything! :O Im so blue!! :( I want mummy and her hot rasam chaadam with turmeric laced milk and i wanna curl up and sleeepppppp :(

Well, if u know me well, u also know my penchant for drama by now. So excuse my choice of words that indicate im on the brink of death. I'm very ill but ill be fine by end of this week surely. And life is good overall, except for one minor glitch.

I turn 26 at the end of this month. I normally look forward to birthdays with inexplicable enthusiasm coz there's always something to look forward to. This year has jus been a mix of the biggest highs and the worst lows and somewhat of an excess for my system at times. I'm not looking forward to completing the 25th year of my life coz i have too many life goals still hanging incomplete and nowhere close to being achieved. But turn 26 i have to. I've charted out one escape route, im going away on the weekend of my birthday to a city away from Singapore. A simple 2 day trip that's supposed to keep me from getting blue on the eve on my birthday. (To be honest my choice of city couldn't have gotten worse. It carries more baggage than any other!! But 2 incredibly good friends i havent met in way too long live there, and tickets were not too expensive so im going anyway!)

Now here's the thing. I want to be able to make this month seriously exciting and memorable. I have some lead thoughts, but i need help. So im putting out a blanket RFP (Request for Proposals - on ideas NOT on matrimony mind you!) for simple things to do through the month of June so it can all culminate in a great birthday at the end of the month.

Comment away!!! And TIA (Thanks in Advance!)

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Errr... emmm ... someone vouch for me!!!

You Are a Good Friend Because You're Honest

Like it or not, your friends are going to hear the truth from you.
You know that the truth hurts, but living a life of lies is much worse.

So while you're definitely kind and supportive, you don't pull any punches with your friends.
Everyone knows where they stand with you. And what you like and dislike about them.

While some may be initially turned off by your honesty, your friends have come to consider it a virtue.
After all, in world of white lies and deceptive politeness, you can be counted on for honesty and integrity.

Your friends need you most when: They need good advice or an intelligent opinion

You really can't be friends with: Needy, emotional people

Your friendship quote: "True friendship can afford true knowledge. It does not depend on darkness and ignorance."

And you didn't believe me when I said i have only 5 pairs of shoes!

All i can say is ... shamu .. take this one!!! Lets see if u can beat me!! :)

You Are 8% Girly

Um... you're a guy, right? If not, you're the most boyish girl in the world.
And for you, that's probably the ultimate compliment.

Btw, just to be clear, none of my women friends are likely to score any higher, and im proud of that as well!!!

Of random personality tests ...

You can easily conclude by now im a big sucker for these arbit personality test types ... here's the latest!

You are Ocean Blue

You're both warm and practical. You're very driven, but you're also very well rounded.
You tend to see both sides to every issue, and people consider you a natural diplomat.

Not too off the mark eh! What's yours?

Thursday, June 07, 2007

A trip in pictures ....

A picture is worth a 1000 words apparently, so ill shut up and let the pics talk ... :-)

Elmira Heights .... and 2 very very cool women in sepia :D

With 2 women, can shopping be far behind??? The Singapore sale, Ladies and Gentlemen! :D

God's very own canvas, and the paintbrush of my mind :-)

Sunset, water and a lovely breeze....

Partner in crime and responsible caretaker rolled into one, presenting the incredible Nayak :-)

Terrible shaky snap, but a lovely riverside view nevertheless ... :-)

Trust the woman to take random snaps, did you know that dinosaurs were not from the Jurrassic era after all? :-)

She can run, can hide, can even dive, can't escape me though :-) Suicide is illegal woman!!! :P

Some gray, some green and much most happiness induced thus ... anything better than a cloudy evening by the waterfront? I say not!!!

And maybe some more later :)

Had a bad day?

My latest 24 loop song, oh how did i never hear this before!! Check out the youtube video and lyrics here :-)

Bad Day
Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to gray
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on
You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee you go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carryin' on
Because you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Will you need a blue sky holiday?
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on
You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
(Oooh.. a holiday..)
Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong(yeah...)
So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Awesome no??? :D

Monday, June 04, 2007

Diamonds are forever?

Linking up to Binu's blog to let people know what a stinky underbelly the diamond business worldwide has.

Changed my mind about getting myself a diamond ring when i read this, simple platinum it is for me!!!

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Life comes full circle doesn't it?

Over the last few days a friend Y and I made this interesting observation. That the way i treat Y is very different from the way i treat another friend that i love tremendously, lets call this friend X for the sake of argument (and to simplify my already 'threatening to be complicated' post).

Observation: I treat Y the same way X treated me always. And that Y constantly treats me the same way i treated X. To give an example, Y is so open with displays of affection and so comfortable with expressing love for me, and i was just the same with X. On the other hand, I tend to get overwhlemed by Y's affection and maybe even react undesirably to it by belittling it or sometimes wishing it away, and we noted that X tended to do that to me.

Wait, the engineer in me is protesting to this verbal dilution of simple mathematical logic

In terms of how the reservation with expressiveness flows
X--> Me --> Y

And in terms of how comfort with expressing love flows
Y--> Me --> X

And I can map this out with various values of X and Y. I'm pretty sure that eventually it all cancels out so that the amount we express with 50% of our friends is negated perfectly by how reserved we are with our expression of love with the other 50%.

Conclusion: Life comes full circle.

Note to all: I wish i could claim to temporary insanity when i wrote this post. Unfortunately, my mind works like this even when im perfectly sane. :-) If ur counting urself as lucky to not know me from close quarters, I won't blame you! :-)

Note to Y: I love you anyway. The verbal person that I am, I'm probably just better at expressing in words than in gestures. Words come easier over the phone, so im sorry that i come across as a frigid ass sometimes at close quarters :-) but u have to admit, im a lovable ass nevertheless :D

My inner hero .. apparently ..

For those who know me well, any mentions of "I told you so" won't go down well i promise you!!! :-)

My Inner Hero - Paladin!

I'm a Paladin!

I strive to help others, and to bring truth and harmony to the world however I can. Whether times are good or bad, you can always count on me. I'm a shoulder to cry on, a champion for the helpless, and an all around nice person.

Read on .. gets better:
Your Mission:
You were put on this earth to help others. They will trust you, because they are attracted to your sincerity, your kindness, and your willingness to do what's right. You are the one who has to stand up for the little guy, because everyone else is too busy looking after number one.Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to Fix Something. Something small, or something big. Put a new chain on your brother's bike. Reconcile a family feud. Take a stray cat to the vet to be spayed. Donate blood. Fix a friend's car for free. Fix SOMETHING.
(I'm thinking I'll start with fixing the leaking tap in my bathroom. No matter what u say, i think saving water is as noble as it gets!! )

Oh this part is so hilarious - completely stinks of the 'Im waiting for my knight in shining armor to come rescue me' sentiment!

A Warning:
Try to remember: sometimes you need to fight for what you believe in. When someone steps on your rights, or the rights of others, you have to forget being "the nice guy/girl" and set things the way they should be. If necessary, befriend a Warrior and enlist him or her in your cause. Then just turn your Warrior loose and watch the fireworks.

Sometimes you're just going to have to face reality. Because you yourself are trustworthy, you tend to be too trusting. But not everyone is as kind and honest as you are. You may need a Rogue on your side to let you know when you're being hoodwinked, swindled, or made a fool of."
So apparently im looking for a rogue to save me from the evil in the world that's waiting to engulf me in its nastiness. Any takers? :D

How about you? Click here to find your own inner hero.