Over the last few days a friend Y and I made this interesting observation. That the way i treat Y is very different from the way i treat another friend that i love tremendously, lets call this friend X for the sake of argument (and to simplify my already 'threatening to be complicated' post).
Observation: I treat Y the same way X treated me always. And that Y constantly treats me the same way i treated X. To give an example, Y is so open with displays of affection and so comfortable with expressing love for me, and i was just the same with X. On the other hand, I tend to get overwhlemed by Y's affection and maybe even react undesirably to it by belittling it or sometimes wishing it away, and we noted that X tended to do that to me.
Wait, the engineer in me is protesting to this verbal dilution of simple mathematical logic
In terms of how the reservation with expressiveness flows
X--> Me --> Y
And in terms of how comfort with expressing love flows
Y--> Me --> X
And I can map this out with various values of X and Y. I'm pretty sure that eventually it all cancels out so that the amount we express with 50% of our friends is negated perfectly by how reserved we are with our expression of love with the other 50%.
Conclusion: Life comes full circle.
Note to all: I wish i could claim to temporary insanity when i wrote this post. Unfortunately, my mind works like this even when im perfectly sane. :-) If ur counting urself as lucky to not know me from close quarters, I won't blame you! :-)
Note to Y: I love you anyway. The verbal person that I am, I'm probably just better at expressing in words than in gestures. Words come easier over the phone, so im sorry that i come across as a frigid ass sometimes at close quarters :-) but u have to admit, im a lovable ass nevertheless :D