Thursday, November 15, 2007

How I met the perfect man, and lost him ...

Ok maybe I exaggerate a tad too much. It's an interesting story, nevertheless.

It highlights what a HUGE loser I am in the dating arena and why I probably need professional help. But so long as you get a laugh out of it, my self esteem can take a hike..(whatever little shall be left of it anyway)..right? I do after all, exist solely for your entertainment!

Cut to my last day in New York.

I'm put up in Mogambo's apartment in New Jersey. It's this awfully picturesque area named Pavonia-Newport and it's a bright sunny Sunday morning (even a sun hater like me is forced to qualify "sunny" with an adjective like "bright" when i'm freezing my ass off).

It's my last day in NJ and I'm determined to make the mostestest of it and so head out ahead of Mogambo and PuppyManohar (who are to accompany me to Central Park) to grab a coffee at the local Starbucks and take one last walk alone along the sunny riverside while listening to my current favorite playlist.

Stepping into Starbucks is as lovely as ever with the familiar whiff of fresh ground coffee that delights the olfactory senses, and not just for that.

Behind me in line I've just spotted a very interesting looking guy. Somewhat geeky but mostly intelligent looking with glasses and ruffled hair to complete the look and the hint of a smile to lend that much-sought-after air of simplicity.

I'm just done ordering my coffee, when the girl behind the counter asks for my name. I take off the ear phones and give it to her, my name, that is. And hear the motion repeated with Mr Interesting standing right behind me. "A" he says, nonchalantly. The name instantly rings a bell. Where have I heard it before? Wait! I know! This is the friend Mogambo and Superman kept mentioning - the Newport residing, Rasam and Sepankazhanga cooking boy "A"!!! I look back at him and ask in my most neutral voice, trying not to seem too interested ...

Unpred: Couldn't help hearing your name ....Do you by any chance know a certain Mogambo and Superman who live in the area?

A: (With uber-cool smile still intact) Ummm.... I don't think so ...

Unpred: Ah well... they kept mentioning an A who lives in the area...thought maybe you were him ... sorry bout that!

A: (Smile still on!) That's ok .. there's probably many A's around here

Unpred: I'm sure there are :-) ...

You'd imagine with all my 'smart alec'ness I'd have done something that demonstrated the slightest hint of intelligence/ presence of mind/ courage/ common sense/ any other admirable quality in the vicinity. Alas.

I plugged back my earphones into my ears, picked up my coffee and walked out the door into the New Jersey sunshine to take my solitary walk along the river side.

Yes, I'm just that stupid.

No, I didn't turn around.

Yes, the trio of friends pulled out hair and looked aghast at my utter stupidity.

No, they don't sympathize.

Yes, I tried arguing that he might be non single, even have a wife and a kid.

No, I still don't score any pity points, just continue to get incredulous looks at my pessimism (I call it pragmatism, but try explaining that to lesser mortals! Pah!)

Yes, they looked for him. Mogambo even kept up a steady chant of his name, calling out "A?" .. "A?" ... at the Path station, on the streets, at every floor of the building that the lift stopped at, even dragged me back to the Starbucks while keeping up the chant and shoving me into every nook asking me to run an identity check.

No we still didn't find him and eventually gave up.

Yes I know he's probably an ordinary person who has been deified purely based on elusiveness. But don't shatter my dream eh!

Yes, "Sigh" is very appropriate. "Alas" works too.

P.s: If you know someone by the name of "A" who has a similar story to tell about a stupid girl who ordered a Caramel Apple Spice Latte and ran off with earphones plugged into her ears, you know who to contact!

P.p.s: PuppyManohar - don't even think about it. I'll know if its you using a fake id! Don't ask how. I'll just know!


Anonymous said...

Three times in one post. Hmmm, Mogambo must be happy at your spreading, no? :-)
- Penguin.

unpredictable said...

I cut it down to 2. 3 seemed like too much ya? 2's just right. Oh what do I know. Failure only I am!

Anonymous said...

Maximum failure has been attained by that solitary act of IDIOTDOM alas.
However, I am still going to try to salvage this situation, hopeless as it may seem.
How, you ask? *muhuahahaha* Mogambo has a plan. Manohar bhai has said I should convey it. Hence it shall be conveyed. Superman is actively trying to discourage me but I shall *not* be deterred. Find A, I will.
*Mogambo and evil look both go back to work*

Anonymous said...

Oh also kindly to excyoos, Miss Happy Feet -- plis I also want to enjoy some mention here ya plis plis?
How you are liking what I sented for you, yakkow? Saw photosa? Tell!

unpredictable said...

:( But I trust Supermans judgment. But I lou you more! Mwah!!! Despite calling me idiot u get many most muahs! Missing Newport I am!

unpredictable said...

Eh .. she hasnt seen what u sent, although sneak preview has been given .. i shall meet her tommorrow and pass on the chunky bracelet .. adios till then from a sedated moi!

Anonymous said...

kbai! e-mail me later okva?

S said...

You shoulda just carried on and introduced yourself nonchalantly, silly girl!!! :) Sure he woulda wanted it.

Am kinda shameless that way ... sheesh, am I even supposed to be saying this being married n all?!

unpredictable said...

Mbo: Es es will do. After my deadline for today is done, mail u i shall.

S: U think? Im hopelessly shy for all my bravado on the outside. Beyond help is the only word that comes to mind. :) Don't let being married stop you from passing on good advice!!! :)

musafir said...

Maybe you've tried this already, but how about facebook or orkut? :)

unpredictable said...

Musafir: Dude you make a long lost appearance after all that time to help me with THIS? :) Blog some will ya?

Eastertide said...

grrrrrrrr! Why oh why do we girls have to be as aggravating as this??
But for all my grumbling, if I were in your two pretty little shoes, i would do the exgggact same thing :-(
In summary, you have my wrath and sympathies too :-)

SM said...


Found your blog through Broom. Found myself attacking your archives before I forced myself back to work :)

unpredictable said...

Eastertide: Alas indeed. What else can i say? For all the opinion touting independence, we're useless still in some areas of life ... sigh..

sm: Thanks! That's real nice to read :) Ive been inactive almost 10 days now ... phase .. will be back soon .. :)

@ said...

I think A must be married with a kid@ ;-)
However, not to forget yourlessons from this sitaution:
*) keep your ears and eyes open at places where you are likely to meet interesting ppl
*) practice your dialogues so that you donot have to think when you suddenly bump into someone ;-)
*) Donot listen to BS from friends who are stressed about wedding - lol!

hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! x

unpredictable said...

Archie! Thats real nasty of you. I have given up on finding A long back although Mogambo apparently continues on her search, clearly hope springs young in one heart atleast! :) don't be stressed ma .. hugs! Everything will go off smoothly :)