Sunday, April 01, 2007

Why its good to spend time with children

R is a 2 year old who lives in my condo. (Its only incidental tht his dad was my 1st boss). R's the kind of kid who walks around with this perpetual grin on his face and is happy to meet new people and animals alike!!! One of the few kids who did not wince when he met our Leo for the 1st time, instead ran toward him and sent him scurrying (away from the exciting child going for his furry tail!) and who didn't hesistate one bit to let himself be carried by yours truly when he 1st met me! R truly delights me with his sense of enthusiasm for everything around, and his ability to make me feel like the coolest aunt person in the world coz he has a blast everytime we're together! :-) He loves the soft toys in my room, gauges everything hung on our walls with a sense of childlike awe, follows Leo around, and makes conversation with me about cars, big cars, reallly big cars, blue cars (he thinks its a type vs color of car), kats (thats Cats mind u), big kats (thats lions on animal planet), about kaka (Re, his nanny), papa and mama and very importantly about shoes, papa's and mama's. All very deep and meaningful conversations mind you, which leave me brilliantly refreshed even after a lousy long day at work.

V and D are nephews of my flatmate and friend S. The kiddos live in Singapore a little away from where we live and they visit occasionally. Its another thing that they're so cute that Nayak mentioned tht they shud probably be child models. But V at 4 and D at 1 have the same effect on me as R does i.e. they leave me feeling completely relaxed and chilled vs. exhausted and tense when theyve spent a few hours in our house. At 1, D is obviously much easier to captivate. And i know he gets me, although he dusnt quite have the linguistic ability to express it yet :-) But oh the smiles he gives me, melt my heart and make my spirit do a 20 feet high jump in the air with no support to land back on :D Everything from my nose to the shampoo on my shelf are intriguing to him. :-) And V at 4 takes a little more intelligence and a little less gibberish. He needs to be treated like an adult and spoken to with respect. But in return he rewards me with incredible smiles and child tricks (and yes the 'you're such an adorable aunt' look).

Now here's the magical thing about kids, they have this incredible ability to send ur blues flying out the window and replace it with enthusiasm and optimism and laughter. :-) The risk i run with adults while im going thru a rough patch (which in my case has been ongoing for what - 3 months now?) is of transferring my blues to them when im actually trying to shake them off myself. But with kids, that never ever happens!!! Their guileless attempts at making you laugh can never ever fail coz the attempt comes from such a pure heart and from unconditional admiration and love for the person that you are!!! So vs. u passing on ur blues to them, they pass on their pinks to u!!! :-) Oh watta brilliant way to live life!!! :D Yes im sure its shadowed by the diaper changing and the crying etc that will entail actually having my own kids, but cmon, any mom will agree that the joy of having their love overpowers anything else that you can feel!

And thats the insight ive found about myself. The reason i love kids, is coz i love being adored and respected. Cause i get that unquestioningly from children when i give them my unconditonal affection. Which is much more than i can ever say of any adults except perhaps my mom. I love that wide eyed look kids have when im reading stories to them at the library. I love the happy curiosity my kiddo friends in the condo demonstrate when i show them new stuff - lights being switched on and off, feeling the breeze in the open garden, flowers, my friends, our dog, my room, my laptop, the TV ... everything i do gets incredible returns with children - return on optimism and joy. They're interested in everything i have to say and im their hero .. yes it takes more than average patience, but i guess the patience that i usually never find with adults manifests itself in unbound abundance when im with children, and so its never an issue. So long as i find them willing to love me, and unquestioningly so, i can find it in me to keep them entertained, learning and engaged :-)

Its why id rather just have children than get married. Coz despite all the wonderful men ive met in my life, (friends, brothers, fathers, bosses) 'unconditional' is a word that only kids have managed to translate into action. :-)


Sharmili said...

always remember the funda i told you about kids over our chat... trust me... u need that... and hence u need a marriage... u need someone to take care of diapering, whining and crying right ;))))

but the kids sound adorably cute... deintely meet them when i am there... be ready to be usurped from the fun aunt position :D:D:D:D

unpredictable said...

ur soo competitive man!!! u come here .. and then we can see ... usurp my posn my FOOT!

Anonymous said...

"'unconditional' is a word that only kids have managed to translate into action."

well thats completely false...everything is just that the conditions that kids put forward can easily be met (by adults) while the conditions which adults demand may be hard sometimes to meet....however you have to just look at the interactions between two kids (who are friends say) and then you will see that many times they are not able to meet the conditions they demand
from each other..just like adults...and hence fights and arguments happen between them all the time..its just that u think of these fights as small, "childish"....
which is what they are from your adult perspective...but if you scale it up its exactly like the interactions between adults.

unpredictable said...

Hi anon, wud appreciate ur comments if u sign them off with ur name. Its a little strange responding to comments when i dont know where u come fm. Thanks.

vinod said...

the last anon was me....from mumbai....thanks