Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Random ramblings of a tired young girl

10.30 pm. Just back from office a half hour ago. No P&G dusnt pay me enough to be slogging like this. But sometimes, (as the infamous by now) Tyrone taught me that investing that extra little bit can make all the difference to the quality of projects one works on ... and so we sat and slogged out over ideas ... also i guess at some level, i wouldnt have been able to sit there and actually enjoy it unless i loved writing SO much. Makes it easier to go through reams and reams of concepts and not tire of cleaning them, beautifying them, changing grammar and structure to ensure simplicity yet impact and all that jazz. Net - concept writing rocks. I'm hurting all over esp in the shoulders where the exhaustion painfully builds up, but i still am sharp and cheerful! :D Just yearning for a massage, but well, one cannot have it all.

What is it about keeping in touch? It almost physically hurts me to not talk to anyone through a whole day. Work is such a sanity rescuer coz it keeps me alive and ticking and in the midst of fun loving wonderful people. It redeems and reaffirms faith in myself, but more importantly, provides that much needed human contact that my mind craves for. Long hours of working from home inevitably leave me blue and silent in the evening - not sad, but not myself either. Inevitably end up spending a bit of time even on these days either talking to Kinks or Adrian or someone over the phone through meetings et al. Am i crazy? Or does this happen to normal people? What defines normal? Ah lets not even go there!!!

Have an intern for the first time. How do people do the whole being a boss thing? I feel so torn betwen giving him all the answers and letting him figure it all out on his own. Feels cruel to be making him spend precious time from this 2 month period gathering data that i can give him verbally with the added benefit of my 2 yr old perspective. Somehow Tyrone did it so bloody well with me. Stuck with the questions until he scared/ bullied/ provoked/ encouraged/ aided me to find the right answers until i got to a point where i could find them on my own. :) Being coached was like sitting in a cold room with warm sunshine shining through the window on my brain, i would watch fascinated as he explained the logic behind everything - which was ALWAYS unfailingly CRYSTAL CLEAR and drank in the meaning of his words, the principle based approach vs technique based approach, the 80 for 20, the casual everyday banter that made me feel like a friend vs a direct report... Now that's how a boss should be!!! God help me live up to the high the others in P&G have set!!!

What do most ppl have nightmares about? Mine are usually about tigers. Weird? Heck Yeah!!! Tigers surrounding some place im stuck in and waiting to devour me. Me sitting inside and devising 'strategies' to escape unhurt, sometimes with family or friends (inevitably the more i love them, the more likely they turn up in a tiger dream!) And this is ever since the age of like 6 or 7. Back then it was easy to ask mom to hug me tight and not let go, in IIMB it was easy to walk over to Sohits room or Kunals room and find them awake. What do i do when i break out in cold sweat in my room in singapore at 4.30 am when no one in India or Singapore is awake? Some form of contact, even sms feels so good at a time like this, and calling would be a blessing except that feeling of being a rotten person for shaking someone out of sleep through peaceful slumber .. so how? What do you do when you have nightmares?

So much for random rambling beyond decent hours. Am sleepyyy, in pain from the bunched up shoulder knots and stinky from a whole day in office!!! End benefit articulations and product technologies will surely haunt me today .. muchas better than tigers anyday i say!! :) Night everyone!!!


SS said...

Hi .. Yeah, I can relate to much of what you've written except the work bit 'coz I am not employed ... being away from home, I go thru' phases when I just wanna talk to a close friend or parent 'coz I am feeling so lonesome ... and the nightmares, yeah, I have recurring ones too .. same one for the past 3 years off and on ... it's pretty scary and can be very unsettling, I know .. I usually wake up and leave the room 'coz I don't wanna wake my baby ... and check email .. pretty lame , hmm ? :-) Methinks you should call home regardless of the time ... c'mon, your folks will understand! Take care.

unpredictable said...

Heya, thanks for dropping by! :)

Wudve called mom except shes the worrying sorts, and she worries about enuff without me worrying her over this stuff.. plus they both work long hard days and really need their sleep way more than i do with my comfy life here in singapore :) thats why ... but i have frnds who've threatened to disown me if i dont call them .. the 3 am category of friends is such a delight and blessing rolled into one na? :D

@ said...

Unpredictable, this is really wierd and funny i must say. I read your blog coz yo almost always write waht i think - why do the facts have to be the same too?? I have an intern sincea week now and I am going through exactly the same thing - and i keep wondering why must i do this to him? And yes, i think that work is a rescuer for me...and i do thinki that my bank doesnt pay me for the time i spend at work! huh! and Yes, i fidn it painful when i cant asnwer calls from friends during the day! :-(

srikant said...

question - apart from a random ramble, what other types are there?

(grammar nazi rules!)

Tanmay said...

idiot....the number to call is 001 (323) 244 0561...
Get it?
ok...now email me your SG number with country and area code...
you know my yahoo address right..

unpredictable said...

Hey Archie! Maybe u and i are lost twins from another birth?? :) Keep going at it, and write in wen u think u have something tht can help me .. considering how in parallel our lives r moving, i'll prob find use for ur exps :)

Srikant Nayak: Shut up u grammar nazi.

Tanu: KK Will call u next time... nowadays am going thru an opposite problem, insomnia induced thru excess excitement :) lets catch up soon :)