I'm usually pretty cut off from what's happening in the world around me coz I hate the newspapers here. And since I'm not much of a TV watcher, I don't even get my dose of news from TV. A very close friend actually works for a news company and has often tried getting me to be more 'aware' under the guise of reading at least items that she reports. All in vain, though.
Recently, friend A referred to a world food crisis and how troubled a good friend of his was by it all. Coincidentally, that weekend, as I flipped through channels on TV, I chanced upon a BBC series which covered this in far more detail.
As the repercussions of the crisis were highlighted and case studies of poor families showcased, I was shocked that I was so blissfully oblivious to something so major happening around me
For perspective on how bad things out there really are, here's some links
- The magnitude of increase in food prices
- The impact on rich vs. poor nations in the world
- An Asia specific perspective
You'd probably wonder why I'm writing about all this (cause obviously most of you out there, unlike me, are in touch with world news and know all about this). Esp given most of what I write about on this blog alludes to frivolous non events from my own life.
The thing is, this is the kind of thing you and I take rather lightly. We're the kinds who don't bother about a 5 % increase in the price of rice in the supermarket. We're blessed with pockets deep enough to absorb the impact, and hence minds that can afford to not pay attention.
Many many others, unknown to us, are in the unfortunate position wherein a 5% increase in the price of food items instantly pushes them below the poverty line .
As the fortunate 'haves' in this situation, there's many things we can do at an individual level to help. I figured if I could list even 2, and tag more bloggers to list an idea each, this could collectively acquire the form of a worthwhile contribution on our part to alleviating the impact of the crisis a majority of the world faces today.
So here's my 2 tips to help make a difference ...
--------------------------------------------------------------
1. If you or the person who cooks in your home (household help, a parent, a relative, anyone) are prone to being a bad judge of proportions when you cook, and if you're the fussy kinds who won't eat leftovers, then please be careful with how much rice, lentil or pasta you cook starting NOW.
These are the most popularly misjudged food items cause they start out looking very little, and we realize we've gone awry with proportions only after they're cooked.
Don't be fussy about leftovers. When there's people out there who don't get one square meal a day, it's almost criminal to be whining about eating food that YOU had cooked 24 hours ago.
Being a tad careful in your day to day cooking and consumption will help save at least a cup of food per household on a daily basis. That's one extra mouth fed for every cup we refuse to waste. Even counting a paltry million people who do this on a regular basis means a million incremental mouths getting fed on a daily basis. That's almost a tiny country. Huge no?
2. The other situation where I've seen tons of food go to waste is social gatherings. Not only do hosts tend to overestimate the amount of food needed at such events, typically 20% of expected guests don't turn up and don't RSVP.
Every time artificial demand is created (purchase that is not consumed) as in the above case, at a collective nation wide level, it influences prices of goods. So each time we overestimate the food order at an event, the raw material for that food (rice, lentils, vegetables - the very basics) becomes unaffordable for a few more people.
It makes a huge huge difference if as a guest who plans to not attend, you could be considerate enough to inform your host that you're not turning up. That gives your host one less person to feed at that event, and artificially inflated demand is stemmed.
As a host, if your guest group comprises people you can expect understanding from (friends at a casual dinner, close family), try and order lesser than you feel tempted to. In all likelihood, what you order will suffice, and if not, you'll know by the middle of the meal anyway, in which case you can simply order a little more as a follow up. And no one will mind.
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The intent of this post isn't to be pedantic and tell you how noble I am. The intent is to make as many who are unaware of this, aware.
And to let you know that the little things done at an individual level can make a difference if there's enough of us doing it.
And this world, the blogosphere, is a superb network to start with. So start helping by passing around the links posted above to other people you think might be amenable to making small changes in their lifestyle to accommodate a growing population that is being pushed below the poverty line.
I'm also tagging some co bloggers to put down 1 thing they think we can do differently with our food consumption habits to help the food crisis in what little way we can.
So Chandni, MadMomma, Parul, and Nutty: I'll hope that you can take up this tag and pass it forward into the widespread network of bloggers around the world :)
=================================================
Edited to add:
The Penguin's tip here: (pasting from the comments section so you can read easily)
"My 2 bits - My favourite food-saving mechanism is to buy frozen vegetables and readymade pastes. I know loads of people disagree and say, the fresher the better. I do agree with them, but my problem is that since I'm by myself, my grocery stocking and cooking is quite erratic. Also, frozen veggies taste quite nice actually - They sort of ensure that I eat healthy food and also do not leave fresh veggies to die in my fridge :-)"
And Lucky's post on the same issue outlining how he plans to contribute.
Saturday, May 03, 2008
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Teacher teacher, I have a koshtin! Ok, not just A koshtin ...
1. Why can happiness or sadness not come in the manner of a phased sine wave to me and the people I love most?
Why is it that when they're in the midst of a wondrously happy phase in life, they have to deal with my abject sadness, and when I'm going through delirious joy, they've outgrown their happy phase?
I'd like to, for once, not weigh down another person's joys with my grievances in their happy times OR refrain from expressing my own crazy happiness for fear of being insensitive cause they're going through shit in life during my happy phase.
2. Why am I constantly hungry these days?
(No Nayak, it's not what you're about to say! *That* isn't possible given my current life situation. Bah!)
No really. It's not funny when you hear what I have eaten only since this morning:
1 Banana
1 tomato and cheese sandwich
2 cups of tea
1 cup of dal fry + rice
1 muesli bar
1 apple
1 more muesli bar...
...and I'm now looking forward to my next meal which will be a 1/2 vodka pasta + 1/2 veggie lasagna + 1 glass of wine (Yes, I meticulously plan the dinner menu even before I step into the restaurant that Penguin will treat me at, you have a problem with that?)
all this in less than 18 hours from sunrise to sunset. Somebody STOP ME!!!
3. What is with the sweeping generalization on Long Distance Relationships (henceforth referred to as LDRs out of pity for my ailing hand) and how they must be avoided cause they're a bad idea?
I get that there are SOME people who cannot deal with distance, who need the other person to be around them from the start to the end of a relationship, some others who cannot express themselves from a distance resulting in a communication breakdown (no really, what else exists when you can't talk?), others who cannot bridge contexts between them and another person coz their context is too strongly rooted in a location, not in their equation with another person, others who value the physical factor in the equation too much to be able to survive without it and so on. I understand that there are some people who are fundamentally ILL CONSTRUCTED to deal with LDRs. I get it.
But that's the same as any other thing in this world no? There are people who can do long hours, others who can't. Those who are 'morning people', others who do nights better. We deal with grief differently, we manage our finances differently... we're all geared to do different things differently. Some better and some worse than others.
The same logic applies to LDRs no? Then why ask EVERYONE to shy away from them? Why make them the basis of NOT establishing relationships with amazing people and taking incredible equations to fruition? BAH.
4. Why do too many of us not wonder about what we really want to do with life?
It's never about time. There's ALWAYS enough and more time to think about this. There's just this laziness that lets you inertly rest on a couch and watch meaningless television, or drift into random meandering thoughts, but keeps you from thinking about and acting upon what would really bring you the satisfaction that'll have you wake up with a smile every morning and sleep with satisfaction every night.
Why?
5. How in this day and age can we still talk in terms of "He's a Brahmin", "She's not"? "He's a marrying lower than his class" and blegh like that?
Really, how does education and evolution do nothing to cleanse our minds of petty distinctions such as caste and sect?
I still hear stories of parents creating a fuss about letting their kids marry beyond their caste/ language/ religion/ social class and blah.
Really?
You'd rank your offspring's happiness and incredible (which is rare to boot!) equation with another person, LOWER than your own petty beliefs? If they're making what you deem a mistake, that's really their call to make no? And just as likely across caste and language as it is within. Then how can you possibly ask them to give it up?
How?
=========================================================
Ok, I have a terrible ache in the shoulder, back and the general neck region (I think the worst is when you can't even pin point where the pain is located!) so I think I'll head out to that nice free dinner the Penguin has planned to treat me to. *Smacks lips in anticipation*
(SOMEBODY STOP ME!!!)
Why is it that when they're in the midst of a wondrously happy phase in life, they have to deal with my abject sadness, and when I'm going through delirious joy, they've outgrown their happy phase?
I'd like to, for once, not weigh down another person's joys with my grievances in their happy times OR refrain from expressing my own crazy happiness for fear of being insensitive cause they're going through shit in life during my happy phase.
2. Why am I constantly hungry these days?
(No Nayak, it's not what you're about to say! *That* isn't possible given my current life situation. Bah!)
No really. It's not funny when you hear what I have eaten only since this morning:
1 Banana
1 tomato and cheese sandwich
2 cups of tea
1 cup of dal fry + rice
1 muesli bar
1 apple
1 more muesli bar...
...and I'm now looking forward to my next meal which will be a 1/2 vodka pasta + 1/2 veggie lasagna + 1 glass of wine (Yes, I meticulously plan the dinner menu even before I step into the restaurant that Penguin will treat me at, you have a problem with that?)
all this in less than 18 hours from sunrise to sunset. Somebody STOP ME!!!
3. What is with the sweeping generalization on Long Distance Relationships (henceforth referred to as LDRs out of pity for my ailing hand) and how they must be avoided cause they're a bad idea?
I get that there are SOME people who cannot deal with distance, who need the other person to be around them from the start to the end of a relationship, some others who cannot express themselves from a distance resulting in a communication breakdown (no really, what else exists when you can't talk?), others who cannot bridge contexts between them and another person coz their context is too strongly rooted in a location, not in their equation with another person, others who value the physical factor in the equation too much to be able to survive without it and so on. I understand that there are some people who are fundamentally ILL CONSTRUCTED to deal with LDRs. I get it.
But that's the same as any other thing in this world no? There are people who can do long hours, others who can't. Those who are 'morning people', others who do nights better. We deal with grief differently, we manage our finances differently... we're all geared to do different things differently. Some better and some worse than others.
The same logic applies to LDRs no? Then why ask EVERYONE to shy away from them? Why make them the basis of NOT establishing relationships with amazing people and taking incredible equations to fruition? BAH.
4. Why do too many of us not wonder about what we really want to do with life?
It's never about time. There's ALWAYS enough and more time to think about this. There's just this laziness that lets you inertly rest on a couch and watch meaningless television, or drift into random meandering thoughts, but keeps you from thinking about and acting upon what would really bring you the satisfaction that'll have you wake up with a smile every morning and sleep with satisfaction every night.
Why?
5. How in this day and age can we still talk in terms of "He's a Brahmin", "She's not"? "He's a marrying lower than his class" and blegh like that?
Really, how does education and evolution do nothing to cleanse our minds of petty distinctions such as caste and sect?
I still hear stories of parents creating a fuss about letting their kids marry beyond their caste/ language/ religion/ social class and blah.
Really?
You'd rank your offspring's happiness and incredible (which is rare to boot!) equation with another person, LOWER than your own petty beliefs? If they're making what you deem a mistake, that's really their call to make no? And just as likely across caste and language as it is within. Then how can you possibly ask them to give it up?
How?
=========================================================
Ok, I have a terrible ache in the shoulder, back and the general neck region (I think the worst is when you can't even pin point where the pain is located!) so I think I'll head out to that nice free dinner the Penguin has planned to treat me to. *Smacks lips in anticipation*
(SOMEBODY STOP ME!!!)
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Updates!!!
Life's been busy and full of surprises, and deadlines. (Dear blog, I'm sorry I ignored you for so long, how will you ever forgive me?)
Things seem to be easing out somewhat, though, and hopefully I'll finally sort out this hand thing by seeing the physio this weekend. I've put it off for over a month now, despite all my claims to being disciplined and organized recently. Sigh. I need the fearful threats of Penguin to make me do this sooner than later. This is why I have friends. To twist my ear and stop me from messing up my life.
Now you know.
Anyway, fun things have been happening in life. So updates follow.
The play's coming along beautifully. We recently did full runs of each short story, and it looked much better than I'd ever expected! :) One of the actors kinda dropped out and guess who steps in to do her part? Yours truly!!! :D Now, it's a pure voice led role (meaning no one gets to see my pretty face, alas (but hurrah, some might say?)) so the limelight hogging won't be all that literal, but hello, the lucky audience gets to hear my sexy (ahem, stop coughing, it's impolite!) voice. So all's good!
The West Coast trip is now looking better than ever. For starters, the wonderful Penguin has decided to accompany me on this 2 week getaway! :) I get to have her delightful company on all flights and her abilities to find discount stores in every nook and corner (She's discovered this one place in NJ which has ALL big brands under one roof. I mean, I seriously and genuinely LOVE this woman!!!).
Also, I get to spend my birthday eve with some of my favorite people in the world in a city I absolutely love - New York!!! :D I desisted writing about this one for a while cause I was so scared I'd jinx it horribly. But now that ALL tickets are booked and only Penguin's Visa remains to be acquired, it is indeed OK to put it out there. (Evil eyed people, if any, pls pls don't jinx this? This trip means a hell of a lot to me. Ktnxvermuch!)
Cooking's been fun as well. Now that the flatmate's vanished for some time at length, the kitchen's all mine to cook in and keep clean. I've been eating in more than ever before, and my new found enthusiasm to pick up interesting groceries is good news for my tummy (and others', when they're invited over to partake of the awesome meals :D), but is seeming like terrible news for my hand which basically wants to cringe and fall off every time I put it through the rigmarole of chopping and cooking.
Blogging (my pride and joy, in case you didn't know already) becomes a pain (literally so) on the evenings that I choose to cook, and I consequently cannot type chat or even leave comments on people's blogs (My reader shows 6 new posts on various blogs today, and i managed to comment on all of 2. GAH!!!). So well, despite taking my meds almost regularly and wearing that funny neck collar when typing from the pathetic work table at home, the hand seems to be doing no better. Sigh. Maybe the coming 2.5 months of no travel and no lugging around heavy baggage (ah dhang u?) will do me some good. :-)
And finally, I'll leave you with the star achievement of this evening, my 1st time ever making Dal Fry inspired by a dear friend (You piss me off, and I give you credit on my blog. Stippid you and stippider me wonly!). See and crave. (No? Ok!)
And now cause my best friend, the allergy induced cold is sitting inside my nose, giving me a massive headache and putting me to sleep, I shall. Sleep, that is.
Night, everyone!
Things seem to be easing out somewhat, though, and hopefully I'll finally sort out this hand thing by seeing the physio this weekend. I've put it off for over a month now, despite all my claims to being disciplined and organized recently. Sigh. I need the fearful threats of Penguin to make me do this sooner than later. This is why I have friends. To twist my ear and stop me from messing up my life.
Now you know.
Anyway, fun things have been happening in life. So updates follow.
The play's coming along beautifully. We recently did full runs of each short story, and it looked much better than I'd ever expected! :) One of the actors kinda dropped out and guess who steps in to do her part? Yours truly!!! :D Now, it's a pure voice led role (meaning no one gets to see my pretty face, alas (but hurrah, some might say?)) so the limelight hogging won't be all that literal, but hello, the lucky audience gets to hear my sexy (ahem, stop coughing, it's impolite!) voice. So all's good!
The West Coast trip is now looking better than ever. For starters, the wonderful Penguin has decided to accompany me on this 2 week getaway! :) I get to have her delightful company on all flights and her abilities to find discount stores in every nook and corner (She's discovered this one place in NJ which has ALL big brands under one roof. I mean, I seriously and genuinely LOVE this woman!!!).
Also, I get to spend my birthday eve with some of my favorite people in the world in a city I absolutely love - New York!!! :D I desisted writing about this one for a while cause I was so scared I'd jinx it horribly. But now that ALL tickets are booked and only Penguin's Visa remains to be acquired, it is indeed OK to put it out there. (Evil eyed people, if any, pls pls don't jinx this? This trip means a hell of a lot to me. Ktnxvermuch!)
Cooking's been fun as well. Now that the flatmate's vanished for some time at length, the kitchen's all mine to cook in and keep clean. I've been eating in more than ever before, and my new found enthusiasm to pick up interesting groceries is good news for my tummy (and others', when they're invited over to partake of the awesome meals :D), but is seeming like terrible news for my hand which basically wants to cringe and fall off every time I put it through the rigmarole of chopping and cooking.
Blogging (my pride and joy, in case you didn't know already) becomes a pain (literally so) on the evenings that I choose to cook, and I consequently cannot type chat or even leave comments on people's blogs (My reader shows 6 new posts on various blogs today, and i managed to comment on all of 2. GAH!!!). So well, despite taking my meds almost regularly and wearing that funny neck collar when typing from the pathetic work table at home, the hand seems to be doing no better. Sigh. Maybe the coming 2.5 months of no travel and no lugging around heavy baggage (ah dhang u?) will do me some good. :-)
And finally, I'll leave you with the star achievement of this evening, my 1st time ever making Dal Fry inspired by a dear friend (You piss me off, and I give you credit on my blog. Stippid you and stippider me wonly!). See and crave. (No? Ok!)
Night, everyone!
Monday, April 07, 2008
The pink of dawn ...
It's pretty early. By my usual standards. Today is an aberration for work reasons, and I've been up since 5 am, seated by the window for the last 2 hours.
It's weird, but I never quite saw dawn the way I see it this morning. The sky was pitch black at 5 am and started to *lighten* up at about 6. Gradually more colors filled the horizon, many many more shades than I'd known of or seen in a long time. And now as of 6.53 am, the sky stands at a certain hue of peach/ pink as the sun bides its time coming up.
It's all simply gorgeous, for lack of non-trite adjectives.
It's true. You can't appreciate dawn, unless you've been watching the horizon since the time darkness prevailed.
It's weird, but I never quite saw dawn the way I see it this morning. The sky was pitch black at 5 am and started to *lighten* up at about 6. Gradually more colors filled the horizon, many many more shades than I'd known of or seen in a long time. And now as of 6.53 am, the sky stands at a certain hue of peach/ pink as the sun bides its time coming up.
It's all simply gorgeous, for lack of non-trite adjectives.
It's true. You can't appreciate dawn, unless you've been watching the horizon since the time darkness prevailed.
Sunday, April 06, 2008
Sunday mornings ...
There's something incredible about Sunday mornings. Peace inducing and reassuring.
Normally they're awesome cause I have the chance to cook up a nice breakfast unlike the usual hurried bread/ cereal that I gobble down on weekdays. And good hot tea. And at a reasonable hour like 9 am, the wonderful Penguin will sms to check if I'm awake and then proceed to call me.
The awesome thing is, even if we've spent Saturday evening together, there's enough and more to talk about (it's such a special thing this ability to converse without pause even after knowing someone for months and months!) always! And so the 1st 1 hour of the morning is spent in chatter, until a parent calls from India to remind us we have families and hello, can we speak with them every once in a while?
The rest of the day in the last few months has passed in drama practice, which is kinda fun in its own way, except for having to travel halfway across town. And evenings are gloriously spent indoors, online or reading or meeting up with a friend. All in preparation for the week ahead.
I remember waking up this morning, for e.g., and after pondering on how I'd woken up on my own unlike usually with an alarm of sorts, I suddenly had this fit of panic wondering what day it was. The joy at having dismissed the possibility of weekdays, and realizing it was a Sunday is immeasurable and somewhat indescribable!!!
And a glorious Sunday at that!
Brunch plans at Marmalade Pantry with my favorite women in this city and then 5 hours of play practice (some work, but let's not go there, shall we?) followed by simple dinner at home and sound sleep before the week ahead. :-) Worth looking forward to no?
Yes, I know Saturday mornings are better. I know even Saturday nights are better. But I'm turning into an optimist against my own will, and I don't need you getting me to revert to cynic mode. So all you cynics, SHOO!
The rest, say it with me - Sunday mornings rock!!! :D
Normally they're awesome cause I have the chance to cook up a nice breakfast unlike the usual hurried bread/ cereal that I gobble down on weekdays. And good hot tea. And at a reasonable hour like 9 am, the wonderful Penguin will sms to check if I'm awake and then proceed to call me.
The awesome thing is, even if we've spent Saturday evening together, there's enough and more to talk about (it's such a special thing this ability to converse without pause even after knowing someone for months and months!) always! And so the 1st 1 hour of the morning is spent in chatter, until a parent calls from India to remind us we have families and hello, can we speak with them every once in a while?
The rest of the day in the last few months has passed in drama practice, which is kinda fun in its own way, except for having to travel halfway across town. And evenings are gloriously spent indoors, online or reading or meeting up with a friend. All in preparation for the week ahead.
I remember waking up this morning, for e.g., and after pondering on how I'd woken up on my own unlike usually with an alarm of sorts, I suddenly had this fit of panic wondering what day it was. The joy at having dismissed the possibility of weekdays, and realizing it was a Sunday is immeasurable and somewhat indescribable!!!
And a glorious Sunday at that!
Brunch plans at Marmalade Pantry with my favorite women in this city and then 5 hours of play practice (some work, but let's not go there, shall we?) followed by simple dinner at home and sound sleep before the week ahead. :-) Worth looking forward to no?
Yes, I know Saturday mornings are better. I know even Saturday nights are better. But I'm turning into an optimist against my own will, and I don't need you getting me to revert to cynic mode. So all you cynics, SHOO!
The rest, say it with me - Sunday mornings rock!!! :D
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Marching on ...
In the last 2 days, I have...
1. Paid off all pending bills.
2. Applied for reimbursements on all medical expenses in the last year.
3. Paid people money owed. Rent, utilities, other stuff.
4. Spent the requisite time on play practice
5. Wrapped up "The Time Traveller's Wife" and started on "The Glass Castle" in keeping with the "1 book every 2 weeks" resolution.
6. Gotten back to running and gymming. (I'm hurting all over. It's been a while, clearly. OUCH)
7. Said my prayers and thanks every single day. Morning and evening. Without fail.
8. Stocked up on groceries and cooked diligently almost everyday.
Within the week I plan to...
- File taxes
- Apply for my 1st ever personal credit card. (I've already figured out which one)
- Cook the 1st of my 10 new recipes for the year - either Koftas or Gojju. We'll see which. I'll put up pics as always.
- Get play practice on Wednesdays started and regularized.
Workwise ...
- I'm on track to be in office by 8.30 am every morning. I'm hoping to make this 8 am in the next 3 days. And leave by 6 pm. At ANY cost.
- Things look busy, but on track to wrap up most major things within the next 2 weeks I think. Atleast all of it is marked into my calendar in planned hour by hour slots - a throwback to my Class 10 and 12 prep schedules.
On the whole...
I'm being a good child - disciplined and meticulous. Like mom taught me to be.
Bringing back order into my chaotic life. Starting my days with a smile, and sleeping with good thoughts on my mind. Like I've always wanted to.
Someone pat me on the back, please?
1. Paid off all pending bills.
2. Applied for reimbursements on all medical expenses in the last year.
3. Paid people money owed. Rent, utilities, other stuff.
4. Spent the requisite time on play practice
5. Wrapped up "The Time Traveller's Wife" and started on "The Glass Castle" in keeping with the "1 book every 2 weeks" resolution.
6. Gotten back to running and gymming. (I'm hurting all over. It's been a while, clearly. OUCH)
7. Said my prayers and thanks every single day. Morning and evening. Without fail.
8. Stocked up on groceries and cooked diligently almost everyday.
Within the week I plan to...
- File taxes
- Apply for my 1st ever personal credit card. (I've already figured out which one)
- Cook the 1st of my 10 new recipes for the year - either Koftas or Gojju. We'll see which. I'll put up pics as always.
- Get play practice on Wednesdays started and regularized.
Workwise ...
- I'm on track to be in office by 8.30 am every morning. I'm hoping to make this 8 am in the next 3 days. And leave by 6 pm. At ANY cost.
- Things look busy, but on track to wrap up most major things within the next 2 weeks I think. Atleast all of it is marked into my calendar in planned hour by hour slots - a throwback to my Class 10 and 12 prep schedules.
On the whole...
I'm being a good child - disciplined and meticulous. Like mom taught me to be.
Bringing back order into my chaotic life. Starting my days with a smile, and sleeping with good thoughts on my mind. Like I've always wanted to.
Someone pat me on the back, please?
Friday, March 28, 2008
Saying thanks ...
I've come to be acutely aware that all the times I've asked for something from the "powers that be" that I believe are somewhere out there, I'm usually granted some version of what I asked for.
(The secret is also that when it's really too important, I ask amma to ask for it, her prayers seem to evoke better response than mine, better karma I think).
So anyway, what I've also realized is that once these prayers are granted, I usually am very very bad at saying thanks, sometimes even just once.
We all tend to do that as people no? (Or is it just me? Am I an ungrateful wretch, and the only one around?) We're really earnest about the "asking" portion and much much less earnest about the "thanking"?
Just writing this to remind myself and everyone out there who ever has wishes, don't forget to say your thanks when they're granted.
Many many times, if you can.
(The secret is also that when it's really too important, I ask amma to ask for it, her prayers seem to evoke better response than mine, better karma I think).
So anyway, what I've also realized is that once these prayers are granted, I usually am very very bad at saying thanks, sometimes even just once.
We all tend to do that as people no? (Or is it just me? Am I an ungrateful wretch, and the only one around?) We're really earnest about the "asking" portion and much much less earnest about the "thanking"?
Just writing this to remind myself and everyone out there who ever has wishes, don't forget to say your thanks when they're granted.
Many many times, if you can.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Long time no see no?
I really do want to write. But am unable to for the moment.
You know how sometimes, you're trying really hard to do this thing, and you know inside your mind and heart that you really want to be another place, doing something else? I have that feeling now.
It happens when I read these days. I used to have this voracious appetite for reading once upon a time, and now when I sit with a book, I'm haunted by this feeling that I'm not really doing anything useful, and so I shift to painting, talking on the phone, or cooking something.
Writing is kinda becoming like that.
Or is it just that my offline conversations are letting me say it all, which is why my thoughts online are devoid of content?
Did I come off sounding sad right there? I feel quite the opposite, really :-)
Oh well.
You know how sometimes, you're trying really hard to do this thing, and you know inside your mind and heart that you really want to be another place, doing something else? I have that feeling now.
It happens when I read these days. I used to have this voracious appetite for reading once upon a time, and now when I sit with a book, I'm haunted by this feeling that I'm not really doing anything useful, and so I shift to painting, talking on the phone, or cooking something.
Writing is kinda becoming like that.
Or is it just that my offline conversations are letting me say it all, which is why my thoughts online are devoid of content?
Did I come off sounding sad right there? I feel quite the opposite, really :-)
Oh well.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Chemistry anyone?
I wrote this 3 months ago, and sent it out by email to a select bunch of people. It's just the kind of thing that would invite too many "Is something up *wink wink*" kinda questions, you know?
But someone replied to it only today, and I was reminded of it, and how strongly I felt about it. And so I'm putting it up anyway.
============================================================
I've cracked it, I think. That thing we call chemistry.
I think it has mostly to do with laughter.
But someone replied to it only today, and I was reminded of it, and how strongly I felt about it. And so I'm putting it up anyway.
============================================================
I've cracked it, I think. That thing we call chemistry.
I think it has mostly to do with laughter.
When you think about it with all your heart, what really is it about someone else that makes you want to be with them for extended periods of time? Their ability to make you smile through everything, no?
Sounds awfully simple but there's another layer to it all. The fact that someone CAN make you smile is in itself already an important thing, it means you can appreciate the things that seem amusing/ interesting to them, there's already a bond there, but the more important thing is something that goes beyond their ability - it's intent.
No one needs to spend time putting a smile on your face, really - they don't. We all have better things to do with our lives than sit and wait for someone to laugh, much less TRY to make them smile or induce happiness.
But for this person to stay there, in conversation with you for hours and continue to put that smile on your face.. that level of INTENT .. that's something! For you to sit there and make them laugh in turn is icing on cake, the two rarely occur together, so when they do, it's sorry to have to let go of it.
Opinion could of course be divided on how sustainable this smile thing is. I mean people do stop at some point of time, the laughter does die out. But laughter, and subsequently the shared happiness is the best way to carve a place in someone else's heart, and it carves nice and deep so you make this long term space for yourself there. Know what i mean?
So even when the laughter is gone, you're still there. Of course, this is assuming the intent to keep someone in ur life and heart persists, assuming nothing else (another life away from them, another person, another interest?) replaces it and u keep them in.
But that's chemistry. It starts with the ability to smile with someone. I'm not saying it's the same as being able to love them - I'm just saying it's chemistry.
Sounds awfully simple but there's another layer to it all. The fact that someone CAN make you smile is in itself already an important thing, it means you can appreciate the things that seem amusing/ interesting to them, there's already a bond there, but the more important thing is something that goes beyond their ability - it's intent.
No one needs to spend time putting a smile on your face, really - they don't. We all have better things to do with our lives than sit and wait for someone to laugh, much less TRY to make them smile or induce happiness.
But for this person to stay there, in conversation with you for hours and continue to put that smile on your face.. that level of INTENT .. that's something! For you to sit there and make them laugh in turn is icing on cake, the two rarely occur together, so when they do, it's sorry to have to let go of it.
Opinion could of course be divided on how sustainable this smile thing is. I mean people do stop at some point of time, the laughter does die out. But laughter, and subsequently the shared happiness is the best way to carve a place in someone else's heart, and it carves nice and deep so you make this long term space for yourself there. Know what i mean?
So even when the laughter is gone, you're still there. Of course, this is assuming the intent to keep someone in ur life and heart persists, assuming nothing else (another life away from them, another person, another interest?) replaces it and u keep them in.
But that's chemistry. It starts with the ability to smile with someone. I'm not saying it's the same as being able to love them - I'm just saying it's chemistry.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Of cloudy skies and silver linings ...
I rush through the day, fast enough to acquire one of those special aches in the shoulder.
But everything gets done as planned. At work and outside work.
The day is packed with meetings when I view my calendar at the start of the day. My flight's at 10 pm, my last meeting ends at 7 (which accounting for the usual delays implies 7.30).
Yet, magically through the day, most meetings get shifted to earlier, and I'm done with meetings at an unprecedented 4.30 pm!
There's still plenty to be done, and after it has been achieved, I run out of work pretty darned sure I'll miss my flight this time. It's raining and the queue at the taxi stand is LONG. I have 3.5 hours to my flight and I still haven't started to pack. For a wedding!
Which is when I notice a friend standing at the head of the queue. My house falls en route to hers. And she's happy to drop me off.
Our taxi, bless its soul, decides to go "gasp, gulp, stutter... THUD!!!" and as I'm praying desperately that this be literally just a little hiccup, cabbie uncle looks back and with the solemness of a doctor announcing bad news states "I'm sorry".
Thankfully we're still only 2 feet ahead of the taxi stand and we get into the one right behind, hoping this one doesn't decide to follow suit. It doesn't.
Once home, I'm completely disoriented by how much I have left to pack. I rush around in a daze, change 3 suitcases, throw in and pull out clothes, almost forget my toothbrush and finally resort to calling a friend to calm me down and remind me of the must haves.
He does. (Disoriented, or not, I'm a bloody ace at packing, I tell you! I got everything on his list, and MORE!!!).
Taxi called for, luggage hauled down, and 1 enormous Jigsaw puzzle in tow, I'm convinced I've just manage to escape the doom of a missed flight by pretty much the skin of my teeth.
And then I land at the airport to find my flight delayed by 3.5 hours.
They're not checking us in yet, I have no earphones (I planned on buying them at the duty free place BEYOND the check in counter, you see) so I can't use the ipod, no power cord (my host and I decided he has a Dell lappie as well, so I could use his, yeah we're super bloody smart!) so my lappie will run out of charge in about an hour (all of my U.S. time zone friend base is currently in Madras, so who would I chat with anyway?) and the only book I'm carrying is close to over.
LOL!!! And considering this has been a day of cloudy skies and silver linings in turn, I'm waiting for the next silver whatever to happen.
Ummm ... God? You there?
But everything gets done as planned. At work and outside work.
The day is packed with meetings when I view my calendar at the start of the day. My flight's at 10 pm, my last meeting ends at 7 (which accounting for the usual delays implies 7.30).
Yet, magically through the day, most meetings get shifted to earlier, and I'm done with meetings at an unprecedented 4.30 pm!
There's still plenty to be done, and after it has been achieved, I run out of work pretty darned sure I'll miss my flight this time. It's raining and the queue at the taxi stand is LONG. I have 3.5 hours to my flight and I still haven't started to pack. For a wedding!
Which is when I notice a friend standing at the head of the queue. My house falls en route to hers. And she's happy to drop me off.
Our taxi, bless its soul, decides to go "gasp, gulp, stutter... THUD!!!" and as I'm praying desperately that this be literally just a little hiccup, cabbie uncle looks back and with the solemness of a doctor announcing bad news states "I'm sorry".
Thankfully we're still only 2 feet ahead of the taxi stand and we get into the one right behind, hoping this one doesn't decide to follow suit. It doesn't.
Once home, I'm completely disoriented by how much I have left to pack. I rush around in a daze, change 3 suitcases, throw in and pull out clothes, almost forget my toothbrush and finally resort to calling a friend to calm me down and remind me of the must haves.
He does. (Disoriented, or not, I'm a bloody ace at packing, I tell you! I got everything on his list, and MORE!!!).
Taxi called for, luggage hauled down, and 1 enormous Jigsaw puzzle in tow, I'm convinced I've just manage to escape the doom of a missed flight by pretty much the skin of my teeth.
And then I land at the airport to find my flight delayed by 3.5 hours.
They're not checking us in yet, I have no earphones (I planned on buying them at the duty free place BEYOND the check in counter, you see) so I can't use the ipod, no power cord (my host and I decided he has a Dell lappie as well, so I could use his, yeah we're super bloody smart!) so my lappie will run out of charge in about an hour (all of my U.S. time zone friend base is currently in Madras, so who would I chat with anyway?) and the only book I'm carrying is close to over.
LOL!!! And considering this has been a day of cloudy skies and silver linings in turn, I'm waiting for the next silver whatever to happen.
Ummm ... God? You there?
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Click count ..
A friend mentioned to me once that he believes every person has an average "click" count of 10 in a single lifetime - i.e. in a lifetime there's likely 10 people that we will bump into, that we'll beautifully "click" with. (He told me he'd met 4 of his 10 and hadn't ended up with them for a variety of reasons ...)
Obviously and understandably, it can't / doesn't have to translate into something with every single person, for all you know, you won't even end up meeting some of them, but it's still a concept I found rather fascinating.
So, here's my quota of curiosity for the day.
What's your "click" count so far?
I'm not asking you to take names, dates or cite the outcomes of those clicks. So just be honest with the count, ok? Oh and feel free to provide more details if you WANT to. We all enjoy a good story no? :-)
Edited to add: Gah people!!! I didn't know this one could get SO tricky to define. So i'm clarifying. I specified "romantic" or "almost romantic" clicks cause outside of those, we'd really lose count!!! Not cause I don't think they're worthwhile clicks, just cause I think you'd be able to count the "romantic" ones a lot easier!!! That's all!! If you remember both, put them in! There's no word limit on the comments section on my blog!!! :D
Obviously and understandably, it can't / doesn't have to translate into something with every single person, for all you know, you won't even end up meeting some of them, but it's still a concept I found rather fascinating.
So, here's my quota of curiosity for the day.
What's your "click" count so far?
I'm not asking you to take names, dates or cite the outcomes of those clicks. So just be honest with the count, ok? Oh and feel free to provide more details if you WANT to. We all enjoy a good story no? :-)
Edited to add: Gah people!!! I didn't know this one could get SO tricky to define. So i'm clarifying. I specified "romantic" or "almost romantic" clicks cause outside of those, we'd really lose count!!! Not cause I don't think they're worthwhile clicks, just cause I think you'd be able to count the "romantic" ones a lot easier!!! That's all!! If you remember both, put them in! There's no word limit on the comments section on my blog!!! :D
Monday, March 10, 2008
Arty farty ...
I'm back to painting cause it's gift season ... so here's shameless displaying of wares again!
Err the people in question can just guess who what is for ... and I hope they don't get it all wrong!!!
Those .. are coaster sets .. 2 each per head ... yes I can count, there's only 1.5 set .. cause one side of one duo isn't done yet.
And...... finally ....
That .. is a jewelery box .. i don't construct! Just paint the wooden thingie with base coats and patterns ... some varnishing etc is left .. but it should turn out to pretty water proof and all when done ...
As you can see, the weekend was verrry constructive!!!
K i'm off now, Mogambo's friend Sarah is teaching me how to make paneer from scratch!!! Curdled milk and all ... apparently Mogambo taught her when they lived in LA and yes, I'm hanging my own head in shame ... Alas!
Err the people in question can just guess who what is for ... and I hope they don't get it all wrong!!!
Those .. are coaster sets .. 2 each per head ... yes I can count, there's only 1.5 set .. cause one side of one duo isn't done yet.
And...... finally ....
That .. is a jewelery box .. i don't construct! Just paint the wooden thingie with base coats and patterns ... some varnishing etc is left .. but it should turn out to pretty water proof and all when done ...As you can see, the weekend was verrry constructive!!!
K i'm off now, Mogambo's friend Sarah is teaching me how to make paneer from scratch!!! Curdled milk and all ... apparently Mogambo taught her when they lived in LA and yes, I'm hanging my own head in shame ... Alas!
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Weddings ...
I've consistently hated the idea of weddings/ social functions/ gatherings all my life. Mostly attending them, partly the extravagance they constitute.
The reasons varied with age ...
As a gawky adolescent,
I was the ugliest 13 year old I'd set my eyes on (Yes, ALL 13 year old girls feel that way about themselves). For this precise reason I'd hate going to weddings. I'd look like the ugly duckling amidst the pretty swans that seemed to get prettier as I only got uglier with every passing social event.
Add to that, I unwittingly had the worst taste in clothes back then, and didn't really know how to smile for the camera (Really, it's an art form to find ones 'photoface' - I didn't find mine until 24!)
Between the ages of 13 and 21,
I discovered a new weapon that would serve as my excuse, no questions asked - "I have studies to do/ A test coming up/ Exams in a month's time/ Classes for XYZ" and so on. Needless to say, in my tam bram family that invariably treats academic credentials with unwavering awe and respect, this was one excuse no one could turn down - EVER.
The only hitch was that my logical yet untactful approach had amma subject to questions such as "Is she the ONLY one studying? Aren't there other kids in the family who study? Aren't they here? What's so special about her eh?" and she'd come back home to replay them to me hoping I'd at least share some of her discomfort if not assuage it.
"Poor amma", I decided. Not fair to be putting her through this. Not to say I decided to change my non attending ways, I just decided to give her something unique to "excuse" her daughter with no lame questions to be fielded. I studied even harder, tried to compensate for what I lacked by way of personality and social grace with my marks.
I spent 14 hour days studying for the board exams (really, I did, no exaggeration meant), and consequently my mom was armed with a series of "merit list" labels and school/ city ranks to take back to the extended family. This seemed to put everyone at rest, coz finally this girl who skipped functions seemed to have something to show for it.
Of course, the flip side was when I did decide to attend a function every once in a rare while, the only way I now got introduced was "Hey isn't this is that Unpredictable girl who was Nth in the merit list in Class X, Pth in the Merit list in class 12, now studying in (insert name of top engineering college in city)? smart girl this. My son/ daughter is preparing for the boards. Can he/she call you for tips?"
It did get pretty tiring sometimes, but was a blessing compared to the "Oh, you're so tall, how will we find you a boy to marry" / "So how long before you get married" questions the other girls seemed to have coming their way". So I played the part of "gyaan guru" the best I could. After all, if there was only so long my academics could distract them, might as well make the best of it no?
In my 20's
I moved out of home to another city to experience b school life. By this time, people had pretty much stopped asking about me, assuming my nose was buried in my books, this time in a new city. My mum was relieved too, and seemed calmer about the idea of me having disappeared off the radar. Her pride had always been genuine, only now, it wasn't mixed with the anxiety of "OMG, if she doesn't attend anyone's wedding, who will attend hers". Happily enough, she evolved with her kids, putting inane fears behind her and not just letting us be, but also enjoying her share of social gatherings without letting the awareness of our absence bother her.
Living through b school, however, did something rather unexpected to me. It brought along a renewed interest in the festivals and traditions of my country and specifically my state, thanks to the many many festivals we seemed to celebrate on campus. Somehow, when the knowledge came without the pressure of "you NEED to know this cause it's our culture", it sounded more captivating than anything amma had ever tried to teach me.
Every time I called mum to tell her something new I'd learned about a wedding ritual or a festival, she'd be pleasantly surprised. I even started to try and keep track of weddings in the family and promised I'd attend as many "happy" occasions as possible.
What I hadn't counted on as having the ability to put me off them all over again, was everyone's inability to enjoy these social events, without letting the need for perfection and weird sense of competition getting to them. You know what I mean? It's shameful to say, but we even encountered relatives who had petty cribs like "You didn't seem to appreciate the arrangements at my son's wedding, how come you're being so appreciative at her daugther's? *sulk, pout, sulk*". Yeah, I know!!!
I was off weddings again.
Until Mogambo invited me to hers.
I visited her family last weekend as she landed in Chennai. Unknown to her, I was already there on work, and simply extended my stay to the weekend to ensure I had 2 days with her. Apart from the slight abberation where she screamed bloody murder at the airport on seeing me (cause, emm, she didn't know I would even be in the country) and made her in-laws to be gape in shock at the devil their DIL was turning out to be, the trip was the most awesome prelude to a wedding I've ever encountered. :-) (Oh yeah, the wedding's only next week!)
Her family exudes joy and cheer, the likes of which I haven't encountered in a long time!!! They're there for each other, they make each other laugh through the pressure and they have the camaraderie of childhood friends - backslapping and making jokes whether or not the occasion presents itself. And this isn't just her parents, this is her extended family, aunt's, uncles and the lovely cousins :-)
For the first time ever, I feel terrible not being part of pre wedding prep for more than 2 days :(
I miss being around them, and cannot wait to be there for the wedding. What's even cooler, is they ask about me and every time I call to speak to Mogambo, there's atleast 2 other people I end up speaking with - an aunt, her mom, a cousin - always someone - always telling me how much they're waiting to have me back there. :D
For the 1st time ever, I'm looking forward to a wedding when it has so little to do with me :) Despite my looming work deadlines. Despite the crazy confusion of my own personal life. Despite the fact that it has no reunions with my own parents or brother involved.
Really, close knit families that inspire so much in a cynic like me ought to be something. :D Here's counting the days to Wednesday ...
The reasons varied with age ...
As a gawky adolescent,
I was the ugliest 13 year old I'd set my eyes on (Yes, ALL 13 year old girls feel that way about themselves). For this precise reason I'd hate going to weddings. I'd look like the ugly duckling amidst the pretty swans that seemed to get prettier as I only got uglier with every passing social event.
Add to that, I unwittingly had the worst taste in clothes back then, and didn't really know how to smile for the camera (Really, it's an art form to find ones 'photoface' - I didn't find mine until 24!)
Between the ages of 13 and 21,
I discovered a new weapon that would serve as my excuse, no questions asked - "I have studies to do/ A test coming up/ Exams in a month's time/ Classes for XYZ" and so on. Needless to say, in my tam bram family that invariably treats academic credentials with unwavering awe and respect, this was one excuse no one could turn down - EVER.
The only hitch was that my logical yet untactful approach had amma subject to questions such as "Is she the ONLY one studying? Aren't there other kids in the family who study? Aren't they here? What's so special about her eh?" and she'd come back home to replay them to me hoping I'd at least share some of her discomfort if not assuage it.
"Poor amma", I decided. Not fair to be putting her through this. Not to say I decided to change my non attending ways, I just decided to give her something unique to "excuse" her daughter with no lame questions to be fielded. I studied even harder, tried to compensate for what I lacked by way of personality and social grace with my marks.
I spent 14 hour days studying for the board exams (really, I did, no exaggeration meant), and consequently my mom was armed with a series of "merit list" labels and school/ city ranks to take back to the extended family. This seemed to put everyone at rest, coz finally this girl who skipped functions seemed to have something to show for it.
Of course, the flip side was when I did decide to attend a function every once in a rare while, the only way I now got introduced was "Hey isn't this is that Unpredictable girl who was Nth in the merit list in Class X, Pth in the Merit list in class 12, now studying in (insert name of top engineering college in city)? smart girl this. My son/ daughter is preparing for the boards. Can he/she call you for tips?"
It did get pretty tiring sometimes, but was a blessing compared to the "Oh, you're so tall, how will we find you a boy to marry" / "So how long before you get married" questions the other girls seemed to have coming their way". So I played the part of "gyaan guru" the best I could. After all, if there was only so long my academics could distract them, might as well make the best of it no?
In my 20's
I moved out of home to another city to experience b school life. By this time, people had pretty much stopped asking about me, assuming my nose was buried in my books, this time in a new city. My mum was relieved too, and seemed calmer about the idea of me having disappeared off the radar. Her pride had always been genuine, only now, it wasn't mixed with the anxiety of "OMG, if she doesn't attend anyone's wedding, who will attend hers". Happily enough, she evolved with her kids, putting inane fears behind her and not just letting us be, but also enjoying her share of social gatherings without letting the awareness of our absence bother her.
Living through b school, however, did something rather unexpected to me. It brought along a renewed interest in the festivals and traditions of my country and specifically my state, thanks to the many many festivals we seemed to celebrate on campus. Somehow, when the knowledge came without the pressure of "you NEED to know this cause it's our culture", it sounded more captivating than anything amma had ever tried to teach me.
Every time I called mum to tell her something new I'd learned about a wedding ritual or a festival, she'd be pleasantly surprised. I even started to try and keep track of weddings in the family and promised I'd attend as many "happy" occasions as possible.
What I hadn't counted on as having the ability to put me off them all over again, was everyone's inability to enjoy these social events, without letting the need for perfection and weird sense of competition getting to them. You know what I mean? It's shameful to say, but we even encountered relatives who had petty cribs like "You didn't seem to appreciate the arrangements at my son's wedding, how come you're being so appreciative at her daugther's? *sulk, pout, sulk*". Yeah, I know!!!
I was off weddings again.
Until Mogambo invited me to hers.
I visited her family last weekend as she landed in Chennai. Unknown to her, I was already there on work, and simply extended my stay to the weekend to ensure I had 2 days with her. Apart from the slight abberation where she screamed bloody murder at the airport on seeing me (cause, emm, she didn't know I would even be in the country) and made her in-laws to be gape in shock at the devil their DIL was turning out to be, the trip was the most awesome prelude to a wedding I've ever encountered. :-) (Oh yeah, the wedding's only next week!)
Her family exudes joy and cheer, the likes of which I haven't encountered in a long time!!! They're there for each other, they make each other laugh through the pressure and they have the camaraderie of childhood friends - backslapping and making jokes whether or not the occasion presents itself. And this isn't just her parents, this is her extended family, aunt's, uncles and the lovely cousins :-)
For the first time ever, I feel terrible not being part of pre wedding prep for more than 2 days :(
I miss being around them, and cannot wait to be there for the wedding. What's even cooler, is they ask about me and every time I call to speak to Mogambo, there's atleast 2 other people I end up speaking with - an aunt, her mom, a cousin - always someone - always telling me how much they're waiting to have me back there. :D
For the 1st time ever, I'm looking forward to a wedding when it has so little to do with me :) Despite my looming work deadlines. Despite the crazy confusion of my own personal life. Despite the fact that it has no reunions with my own parents or brother involved.
Really, close knit families that inspire so much in a cynic like me ought to be something. :D Here's counting the days to Wednesday ...
Thursday, March 06, 2008
And .. To women ..
The Penguin has left for home and this post was supposed to come even before the earlier one... for some reason I couldn't get myself to dictate it .. So here goes ... to women .. again .. likely a section that this isn't addressed to .. definitely a section it IS.
=============================================
- What is it about heels?
They're uncomfortable, they're bad for the back in the long term and really, no one even notices we're wearing them. So why do we put ourselves through the trauma of wearing them? Yes they look elegant to our own eyes, they endow upon our persona a grace we formerly couldn't notice, and maybe they make us feel good about ourself. But given the long term ill effects, are they really worth it?
- Why is being in good shape limited to before you get hitched?
No really. It's irritating when you make it seem like everything you do is in preparation to be married. Especially that weight loss thing.
How did you conclude that it was necessary to be thin before you got married, then during the wedding, and suddenly completely redundant once you're over the uncertainty of being single and done being in the public scrutiny of a 100 people, most of whom will criticize the food/ preparations/ clothes at your wedding anyway?
Why does it not matter to you anymore? I understand that many of us cannot control what we look like and how much we weigh, but it's just irritating when we can and choose to stop doing something about it just cause we're "settled"!
- What's with the need for a streak of "gray" in a man?
I've heard this so many times. This thing about how a man must have a little evil in him. Ah yes, that's where the charm lies no? Nice/ sweet/ good is boring. Let's bring on evil in regulated doses please! And when the evil manifests itself and goes from being adorable and quirky to being plain bad, then what? I don't know know myself, I think I even belong to the masochistic breed that proudly proclaims the above. Gah!
-Why do you feel obliged to do the done thing?
It's another thing to do it cause you want to. It's entirely another to do it cause "it's what's done". The wearing more salwars vs. jeans once married? The avoiding of temples and kitchens at "times of the month"? The participation in rites you don't believe in, no questions asked? Planning for yourself that extravagant wedding because so many others want you to, without so much as offering the possibility that it could be another way, a simpler, less expensive way? Why?
Imagine passing on symbolic inanities to the generations in the wings, vs. passing on a solid set of values? Imagine telling our own daughters they have to sit, talk and walk a certain way just because "you're now married". How long can this nonsense go on and get passed on? Can we please absolve ourselves of this cross that'll otherwise be ours to bear?
Please to be honest. Do we even try? To influence change? Trying will be enough for now. Our mothers aren't people we can influence too much, much less change completely. The least we can do is influence our children no?
- Why do we nit pick and nit pick and nit pick over the nicest men?
No really. A good friend has pretty much given up on my kind for how harsh we are (I'm one to talk given my last post!) esp to the nice guys. "You're looking for something you seem to not want to find" he says. Pretty much the same as the thrill of the chase for men no?
Why do we dismiss people so easily? Give them such few chances? After all that complaining about how there's such few good men out there, we eliminate them over the smallest of things - bad grammar, taste in music and blah like that.
Yeah, I know and maintain that when we do bump into someone we really like, it goes past so called documentable "flaws". But in the process, on the way, we're really harsh. And what's worse is we're helping each other feel OK about being that way by being "supportive" of like minded women friends. More gah!
===================================
I know i had more to put in here ... will edit and add as things come to mind ... Also, I know I come off as judgmental, and I don't necessarily care if you think I am, but suffice it to say, even I'm not above the things I've listed above.
There - I'll give you honesty, even if not impeccable logic :)
=============================================
- What is it about heels?
They're uncomfortable, they're bad for the back in the long term and really, no one even notices we're wearing them. So why do we put ourselves through the trauma of wearing them? Yes they look elegant to our own eyes, they endow upon our persona a grace we formerly couldn't notice, and maybe they make us feel good about ourself. But given the long term ill effects, are they really worth it?
- Why is being in good shape limited to before you get hitched?
No really. It's irritating when you make it seem like everything you do is in preparation to be married. Especially that weight loss thing.
How did you conclude that it was necessary to be thin before you got married, then during the wedding, and suddenly completely redundant once you're over the uncertainty of being single and done being in the public scrutiny of a 100 people, most of whom will criticize the food/ preparations/ clothes at your wedding anyway?
Why does it not matter to you anymore? I understand that many of us cannot control what we look like and how much we weigh, but it's just irritating when we can and choose to stop doing something about it just cause we're "settled"!
- What's with the need for a streak of "gray" in a man?
I've heard this so many times. This thing about how a man must have a little evil in him. Ah yes, that's where the charm lies no? Nice/ sweet/ good is boring. Let's bring on evil in regulated doses please! And when the evil manifests itself and goes from being adorable and quirky to being plain bad, then what? I don't know know myself, I think I even belong to the masochistic breed that proudly proclaims the above. Gah!
-Why do you feel obliged to do the done thing?
It's another thing to do it cause you want to. It's entirely another to do it cause "it's what's done". The wearing more salwars vs. jeans once married? The avoiding of temples and kitchens at "times of the month"? The participation in rites you don't believe in, no questions asked? Planning for yourself that extravagant wedding because so many others want you to, without so much as offering the possibility that it could be another way, a simpler, less expensive way? Why?
Imagine passing on symbolic inanities to the generations in the wings, vs. passing on a solid set of values? Imagine telling our own daughters they have to sit, talk and walk a certain way just because "you're now married". How long can this nonsense go on and get passed on? Can we please absolve ourselves of this cross that'll otherwise be ours to bear?
Please to be honest. Do we even try? To influence change? Trying will be enough for now. Our mothers aren't people we can influence too much, much less change completely. The least we can do is influence our children no?
- Why do we nit pick and nit pick and nit pick over the nicest men?
No really. A good friend has pretty much given up on my kind for how harsh we are (I'm one to talk given my last post!) esp to the nice guys. "You're looking for something you seem to not want to find" he says. Pretty much the same as the thrill of the chase for men no?
Why do we dismiss people so easily? Give them such few chances? After all that complaining about how there's such few good men out there, we eliminate them over the smallest of things - bad grammar, taste in music and blah like that.
Yeah, I know and maintain that when we do bump into someone we really like, it goes past so called documentable "flaws". But in the process, on the way, we're really harsh. And what's worse is we're helping each other feel OK about being that way by being "supportive" of like minded women friends. More gah!
===================================
I know i had more to put in here ... will edit and add as things come to mind ... Also, I know I come off as judgmental, and I don't necessarily care if you think I am, but suffice it to say, even I'm not above the things I've listed above.
There - I'll give you honesty, even if not impeccable logic :)
To men
[And since the Penguin refuses to say this in first person, it'll have to come from me that today, her fingers take over the keyboard and I turn into a "dictator". At least three times so far, we planned to execute this simple arrangement in the best interests of my hand, but I backed out every single time coz it just felt like the words wouldn't come to life until my own fingers touched the keypad. I have however, been convinced to give this a shot, putting concern for my health over the fear of a potential writer's block. So let's try this and see how it works. And needless to mention, a BIG THANKS!!! to the Penguin.]
==================
At the outset however, let me clarify. There's maybe 50% of you that this post is addressed to. Definitely not all. So let's get right on with it...
- What is it about the thrill of the chase that is so bloody appealing that makes you don your best hat ?
You know that hat? Witty, charming, eager to listen, eager to confide, eager to express.
And what is about acquiring the object of the hunt that turns you into a mutated version of your erstwhile lovable self?
We just don't get it. How can a man who hung on to every word at one point of time now start to act snappy when we exceed our daily quota of words? How can he feel ashamed to admit that he loves us in public? How can he suddenly get so harshly judgmental about the most casual things we say? How can the laughter he once deemed the sunshine of his life now make him cringe in the embarrassment of having a loud girlfriend?
- What is that thing you men do - get drunk, lose control over your tongue (or maybe the truth is spoken best when you are drunk?) and talk about how getting married was the worst decision ever?
It's sad enough that you do it when you are drunk, it's sadder still that you can do it when you are sober and find it obligatory to pass uncomplimentary remarks about the woman in your life around your buddies.
Is that how you bond? Is lamenting the permanence of your relationship for men, the equivalent of gossip for women? Is that why you do it? 'Coz if not, then you do really mean everything you're saying. And I hope and pray desperately that I never end up being the woman in question.
- How come it's always our job that's less important? How come it's your career that's more?
Regardless of how we meet - fall in love, go through the usual rigmarole of romance or meet each other through our parents, why is it always taken for granted that I'll move countries to be with you, and not the other way round?
Aren't there well-defined principles in place to guide decision making of this magnitude? Say, for example, the one who has the more stable job/the more convenient location/is closer to both families/has lesser chances of finding a career in another place stays?
It's bad enough that your parents assume (and mine, no less) that I'll willingly uproot the career I've built on the foundation of an equally strong education, after having burnt the same litres of midnight oil, and having worked equally hard to climb up the ladder. It's worse still when you back them up in that inane assumption. And it doesn't matter if you live in remote Africa or Scandinavia (neither of the two places I have anything against). It's still me who has to make the move.
Excuse me, but as the left-brained, more mathematically inclined, more analytical superior being that science has established you to be, could you explain the logic in any of the above?
- How is it that the first question you get asked is "So where do you work?" and the first question I get asked is today's very subtly, yet shoddily disguised version of "Can you cook/run a house?"
Again, it's bad enough that our families impose ridiculous stereotypes despite their alleged evolution. But it's worse when you tell me that you can neither eat outside nor eat what the maid has cooked, implying in a rather underhanded manner that I'd better know how to.
========================================
I wish I could write something that cohesively links up all of the above and gives this post a nice conclusive end. But seeing as this post was a product of scattered thoughts connected by the tenuous link that is a certain breed of men, I will refrain from forcing a conclusion on it. I do however, want to clarify 2 things -
a) I am not a feminist. I would cook, run the house, move countries happily enough to be with someone I loved. But I'd only do it because I wanted to, not because someone else wanted me to.
b) As stated at the start of this post, all or even some of it do not apply to every man out there. At least one of them is however, true of even the best of men we know.
==================
At the outset however, let me clarify. There's maybe 50% of you that this post is addressed to. Definitely not all. So let's get right on with it...
- What is it about the thrill of the chase that is so bloody appealing that makes you don your best hat ?
You know that hat? Witty, charming, eager to listen, eager to confide, eager to express.
And what is about acquiring the object of the hunt that turns you into a mutated version of your erstwhile lovable self?
We just don't get it. How can a man who hung on to every word at one point of time now start to act snappy when we exceed our daily quota of words? How can he feel ashamed to admit that he loves us in public? How can he suddenly get so harshly judgmental about the most casual things we say? How can the laughter he once deemed the sunshine of his life now make him cringe in the embarrassment of having a loud girlfriend?
- What is that thing you men do - get drunk, lose control over your tongue (or maybe the truth is spoken best when you are drunk?) and talk about how getting married was the worst decision ever?
It's sad enough that you do it when you are drunk, it's sadder still that you can do it when you are sober and find it obligatory to pass uncomplimentary remarks about the woman in your life around your buddies.
Is that how you bond? Is lamenting the permanence of your relationship for men, the equivalent of gossip for women? Is that why you do it? 'Coz if not, then you do really mean everything you're saying. And I hope and pray desperately that I never end up being the woman in question.
- How come it's always our job that's less important? How come it's your career that's more?
Regardless of how we meet - fall in love, go through the usual rigmarole of romance or meet each other through our parents, why is it always taken for granted that I'll move countries to be with you, and not the other way round?
Aren't there well-defined principles in place to guide decision making of this magnitude? Say, for example, the one who has the more stable job/the more convenient location/is closer to both families/has lesser chances of finding a career in another place stays?
It's bad enough that your parents assume (and mine, no less) that I'll willingly uproot the career I've built on the foundation of an equally strong education, after having burnt the same litres of midnight oil, and having worked equally hard to climb up the ladder. It's worse still when you back them up in that inane assumption. And it doesn't matter if you live in remote Africa or Scandinavia (neither of the two places I have anything against). It's still me who has to make the move.
Excuse me, but as the left-brained, more mathematically inclined, more analytical superior being that science has established you to be, could you explain the logic in any of the above?
- How is it that the first question you get asked is "So where do you work?" and the first question I get asked is today's very subtly, yet shoddily disguised version of "Can you cook/run a house?"
Again, it's bad enough that our families impose ridiculous stereotypes despite their alleged evolution. But it's worse when you tell me that you can neither eat outside nor eat what the maid has cooked, implying in a rather underhanded manner that I'd better know how to.
========================================
I wish I could write something that cohesively links up all of the above and gives this post a nice conclusive end. But seeing as this post was a product of scattered thoughts connected by the tenuous link that is a certain breed of men, I will refrain from forcing a conclusion on it. I do however, want to clarify 2 things -
a) I am not a feminist. I would cook, run the house, move countries happily enough to be with someone I loved. But I'd only do it because I wanted to, not because someone else wanted me to.
b) As stated at the start of this post, all or even some of it do not apply to every man out there. At least one of them is however, true of even the best of men we know.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
There's only space for one of us in here .. or is there?
And since i haven't spewed out the daily dose of entertainment to the usual suspects over chat or the phone, let me indulge for the evening. There's simply too much running through that little mind. Please to skip coz it's all contextual and all personal.
For the last 2 years I've dreaded coming home to an empty apartment. For that more than for rent savings, I always lived with someone. There's something about quietness that I never did do too good with. Uncannily enough it was the Penguin who pointed that out to me. There'd ALWAYS be something running in the background in my room. Music, a 22nd rerun of an old F.R.I.E.N.D.S. cd or ever since I've acquired cable, the TV. Always.
And suddenly for the last few months, each evening, as I put the keys into my apartment door slot, I find myself hoping it's empty when I enter.
(Don't get me wrong. My flatmate isn't bad at all. She and I live separate lives except for exchanging accounts and discussing what's run out and needs re-stocking. And we're super happy with it. With not having to make mandatory small talk early in the mornings, when we're both keen to just brew our own cups of tea and be out the door. And with not having to join each other's social circles or participate in the other's life. So it has nothing to do with her.)
I just want, emptiness in the literal sense of the term. I find it most evenings. And I sigh in relief.
And I find that so... so ungrateful .. given posts that various bloggers have written about how the emptiness engulfs you with its silence that some noise, any noise is welcome. And think to myself, since when did I turn into such a man?
I say man, cause I know most guy friends are this way. They hate having to come home to instant chatter. Even that of a loving girl friend. (LOL just as I wrote this, N's girl friend who lives upstairs, walked in!!) Esp in the evenings. But give them some time to be on their own, and you'll find them ready to do conversation. And I find that happening to me a lot these past few months. From 7 to 9 I'm quiet and pottering about the house ... and then suddenly there's blogging, chatting ... all of that.
With most current friendships and the only one relationship having been long distance, I'm now worried that I might be able to function around people, maybe even love them sufficiently, only when I'm away from them. Worrying thought that.
And if that's not bad enough, after having spent the last 2 evenings readying my saris for M's wedding and grappling with about 2 pairs of every accessory to choose from for every SINGLE sari, I wonder, what kind of schizophrenic lives inside me - the caveman acting snappy and needing "space" one moment and the woman putting together coordinated accessories the next.
To think I started out thinking I'd do a tag this evening. I think I've pushed the hand to its limits though. Ta for now and see you tomorrow! :-)
For the last 2 years I've dreaded coming home to an empty apartment. For that more than for rent savings, I always lived with someone. There's something about quietness that I never did do too good with. Uncannily enough it was the Penguin who pointed that out to me. There'd ALWAYS be something running in the background in my room. Music, a 22nd rerun of an old F.R.I.E.N.D.S. cd or ever since I've acquired cable, the TV. Always.
And suddenly for the last few months, each evening, as I put the keys into my apartment door slot, I find myself hoping it's empty when I enter.
(Don't get me wrong. My flatmate isn't bad at all. She and I live separate lives except for exchanging accounts and discussing what's run out and needs re-stocking. And we're super happy with it. With not having to make mandatory small talk early in the mornings, when we're both keen to just brew our own cups of tea and be out the door. And with not having to join each other's social circles or participate in the other's life. So it has nothing to do with her.)
I just want, emptiness in the literal sense of the term. I find it most evenings. And I sigh in relief.
And I find that so... so ungrateful .. given posts that various bloggers have written about how the emptiness engulfs you with its silence that some noise, any noise is welcome. And think to myself, since when did I turn into such a man?
I say man, cause I know most guy friends are this way. They hate having to come home to instant chatter. Even that of a loving girl friend. (LOL just as I wrote this, N's girl friend who lives upstairs, walked in!!) Esp in the evenings. But give them some time to be on their own, and you'll find them ready to do conversation. And I find that happening to me a lot these past few months. From 7 to 9 I'm quiet and pottering about the house ... and then suddenly there's blogging, chatting ... all of that.
With most current friendships and the only one relationship having been long distance, I'm now worried that I might be able to function around people, maybe even love them sufficiently, only when I'm away from them. Worrying thought that.
And if that's not bad enough, after having spent the last 2 evenings readying my saris for M's wedding and grappling with about 2 pairs of every accessory to choose from for every SINGLE sari, I wonder, what kind of schizophrenic lives inside me - the caveman acting snappy and needing "space" one moment and the woman putting together coordinated accessories the next.
To think I started out thinking I'd do a tag this evening. I think I've pushed the hand to its limits though. Ta for now and see you tomorrow! :-)
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Ettanother tag!!!
I loved this tag by Chandni .. and so shamelessly as ever, am going to take it on although she didn't tag me (alas). Just as long as the hand lets me do this without scowling. After that, normal programming shall only resume tomorrow. To cc paste from Chandni, "It's going to be all about me and very personal, so feel free to skip!"
Else ...
Read on!
Ten things you wish you could say to people right now ( don’t take names)
- Please remember, you'll never be "average" just cause you put yourself through some inane rituals - not to the people who matter anyway. The rest can just go to hell no?
- Getting to know another person is usually a slow painful process that cannot proceed without adequate motivation. And it's happened SO easily with you. Amidst so much laughter, hope and wit. You know more of me in this little time than even my oldEST friends do. You make being "unpredictable" a tad impossible with how perceptive you are. And after all that, all that can be said is *sigh*. Much alas no?
- You're the only person who fondly addresses me by the 1st 2 letters of my name. You're one of the reasons my favorite city is my favorite city. I know i'm impatient and short with you for being the sentimental fool that you sometimes (ok, most times!) are. For putting up with that and much more - THANKS! (())
- Sometimes, I can't believe all of the above (and some more) awesome people entered my life in some way or the other through you. But it's true. They say people enter and leave our lives for a reason. Should I officially conclude that I know yours?
- I know you think you're harsh and a "bitch" sometimes. I also know, however, how much you care. You make it worthwhile coming back to this city after the loveliest vacations which earlier filled me with dread of coming back to an empty house. Now I have you. :-)
- We've come so far in the last 2 years. So much has happened in both lives ...so many changes for the better. I may not come to you with every detail and problem in my life, but I need you to know, i'm really glad you're around.
- The only thing I apparently said (repeatedly so) in my "happy" state at Cambodia was how sorry I was to be putting you through the guilt and the disappointment that I am now. I really am sorry. Please remember to never take guilt upon yourself- they're my choices and i'll deal with the consequences myself.
- I know how u look up to me. Amidst all that awe and respect, I do hope you also love me.
- I owe pretty much all of what I am professionally to you. You left big big shoes for me to fill and most days I'm just left wondering why I can't do as good a job as you did. Gah!
- How could you "hate" me over something as trivial as your cited reasons? For so long, I felt terrible and wondered what I did wrong. And when i found out, I almost laughed cause it was just so sad. I feel really bad for you and for what regret at your choices has turned you into. And still hope you can find happiness somehow, somewhere.
========================================
The rest for another day .. Ms Hand needs rest for now .. Tagging Quirkyquill, Vish and Potpourri to do this one :-) until tomorrow, ta! everyone :-)
Else ...
Read on!
Ten things you wish you could say to people right now ( don’t take names)
- Please remember, you'll never be "average" just cause you put yourself through some inane rituals - not to the people who matter anyway. The rest can just go to hell no?
- Getting to know another person is usually a slow painful process that cannot proceed without adequate motivation. And it's happened SO easily with you. Amidst so much laughter, hope and wit. You know more of me in this little time than even my oldEST friends do. You make being "unpredictable" a tad impossible with how perceptive you are. And after all that, all that can be said is *sigh*. Much alas no?
- You're the only person who fondly addresses me by the 1st 2 letters of my name. You're one of the reasons my favorite city is my favorite city. I know i'm impatient and short with you for being the sentimental fool that you sometimes (ok, most times!) are. For putting up with that and much more - THANKS! (())
- Sometimes, I can't believe all of the above (and some more) awesome people entered my life in some way or the other through you. But it's true. They say people enter and leave our lives for a reason. Should I officially conclude that I know yours?
- I know you think you're harsh and a "bitch" sometimes. I also know, however, how much you care. You make it worthwhile coming back to this city after the loveliest vacations which earlier filled me with dread of coming back to an empty house. Now I have you. :-)
- We've come so far in the last 2 years. So much has happened in both lives ...so many changes for the better. I may not come to you with every detail and problem in my life, but I need you to know, i'm really glad you're around.
- The only thing I apparently said (repeatedly so) in my "happy" state at Cambodia was how sorry I was to be putting you through the guilt and the disappointment that I am now. I really am sorry. Please remember to never take guilt upon yourself- they're my choices and i'll deal with the consequences myself.
- I know how u look up to me. Amidst all that awe and respect, I do hope you also love me.
- I owe pretty much all of what I am professionally to you. You left big big shoes for me to fill and most days I'm just left wondering why I can't do as good a job as you did. Gah!
- How could you "hate" me over something as trivial as your cited reasons? For so long, I felt terrible and wondered what I did wrong. And when i found out, I almost laughed cause it was just so sad. I feel really bad for you and for what regret at your choices has turned you into. And still hope you can find happiness somehow, somewhere.
========================================
The rest for another day .. Ms Hand needs rest for now .. Tagging Quirkyquill, Vish and Potpourri to do this one :-) until tomorrow, ta! everyone :-)
Baby Unpredictable ...
Again I'm not sure who tagged me for this one (if anyone did, that is) but here you go. Me as a 2/3 year old.
Some observations:1. I'm scowling. Now for people who know me, you're likely thinking "Oh! She's ALWAYS been like this?" and for those who don't, you're wondering what I have against the people forcing me to look pretty for the camera. On all of the above, I'm with you. I really am!
2. Photographer uncle seems to have tried peace tactic in the form of the red Godrej (fine fine, i edited that based on feedback!) Talcum powder box. Either that, or he had seriously weird notions on what constitutes "cool accessories", cause it actually matches what I'm wearing!!
3. Note how no part of me is left unadorned. Ears, eyes, forehead, hands, neck and legs (you can't see it, but I'm wearing silver anklets) all can boast of some form of decoration. As you can well imagine, I take no credit for being the "inventor" of this "More is better" theme.
(Take a bow mom! Round of applause please, everyone!!!)
Right, so now that I'm done with self humiliation, in public, no less, I tag Penguin, Potpourri, QuirkyQuill, Sumit, Nutty,and Vish to put up their baby pics.
(I'd have tagged Puppy Manohar and Baby Vaijayanti too, but they don't do this kinda stuff. Lessee if they oblige anyway.)
Anyone else who wants to do this? Feel free to take it on!
Oh also, I'm officially back to the world of 24 hour onlineness and blogdom! :D More stories from my trip last week coming up in the next few posts :-)
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Want to write ...
But cannot.. or won't .. cause the hand is acting up(set) again...
(my bday falls in June, and anyone who wants to send an advance bday gift of a speech to text converter can pls email the id provided - i shall send you my work address. Thanks!)
Despite all the hand issues, this was by far my most proactive week in the last few months. I've arranged to sked an appointment with a doc in India for a second opinion on the hand when i visit soon, and my effort has been duly applauded by those who know me, since it involves foresight and planning, the likes of which seemed to have abandoned me of late. I've initiated uncomfortable, yet essential conversations with my mother. I've taken charge of some things at work that I've wanted to for a while. And more.
I feel light, if nothing else. And clearer. No seriously, there's some things that need to be done, regardless of the outcome simply cause they offer so much clarity. Consequently, after a long time, I feel respect for myself.
The hand's not feeling too great though. And that tyrant, Penguin, she checks this space, and she'll kick my sorry ass tomorrow if I don't stop typing NOW. So bye!
(my bday falls in June, and anyone who wants to send an advance bday gift of a speech to text converter can pls email the id provided - i shall send you my work address. Thanks!)
Despite all the hand issues, this was by far my most proactive week in the last few months. I've arranged to sked an appointment with a doc in India for a second opinion on the hand when i visit soon, and my effort has been duly applauded by those who know me, since it involves foresight and planning, the likes of which seemed to have abandoned me of late. I've initiated uncomfortable, yet essential conversations with my mother. I've taken charge of some things at work that I've wanted to for a while. And more.
I feel light, if nothing else. And clearer. No seriously, there's some things that need to be done, regardless of the outcome simply cause they offer so much clarity. Consequently, after a long time, I feel respect for myself.
The hand's not feeling too great though. And that tyrant, Penguin, she checks this space, and she'll kick my sorry ass tomorrow if I don't stop typing NOW. So bye!
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Linking up to something well written ..
Friday, February 15, 2008
Tagged ...
Was tagged long ago by someone to do this one ... (I'm terribly sorry for having forgotten who it was, but I'm doing the tag aren't I!)
Post 5 links to 5 of your previously written posts. The posts have to relate to the 5 key words given (family, friend, yourself, your love, anything you like). Tag 5 other friends to do this meme. Try to tag at least 2 new acquaintances (if not, your current blog buddies will do) so that you get to know them each a little bit better. Now don’t forget to read the archived posts and leave comments.
Family: Well I don't mention my bro or my dad too often here, completely in line with how much I interact with them, so here's the nicest post I've written for my mum. Apparently I called asking her to read this while she was at work, and she broke down and started sobbing from the sheer senti quotient!!! Oh well ..
Friend: I do mention wayyy many friends here ... Thing with people I'm incredibly close to and in touch with on a daily basis (Mogambo, Penguin, V, others) is that I sporadically mention them SO often, that I've never quite done a dedicated post for any of them! But here's a post I wrote to Shamu when she made it to IIMB last year .. and another for Kavz, the sunshine of my life through 2006.
Myself: Huh. I'm actually stumped... though I think these 3 posts capture me pretty well ... my love for conversation, who I judge and who I admire. Seriously, there's just a little too much about me on this blog to be able to pick and choose.
My love: Yeah whatever. Nexttt....
Anything I like: We're talking words, cooking, broad genres of people, and things I hope the world is never without!
Ok! Now to pass this on!!!
3 familiar people to tag: Penguin, Lucky and Quirky Quill.
2 unfamiliar people ...emm ... ok how about I tag Nutty and Somewhere over the Rainbow! :)
Post 5 links to 5 of your previously written posts. The posts have to relate to the 5 key words given (family, friend, yourself, your love, anything you like). Tag 5 other friends to do this meme. Try to tag at least 2 new acquaintances (if not, your current blog buddies will do) so that you get to know them each a little bit better. Now don’t forget to read the archived posts and leave comments.
Family: Well I don't mention my bro or my dad too often here, completely in line with how much I interact with them, so here's the nicest post I've written for my mum. Apparently I called asking her to read this while she was at work, and she broke down and started sobbing from the sheer senti quotient!!! Oh well ..
Friend: I do mention wayyy many friends here ... Thing with people I'm incredibly close to and in touch with on a daily basis (Mogambo, Penguin, V, others) is that I sporadically mention them SO often, that I've never quite done a dedicated post for any of them! But here's a post I wrote to Shamu when she made it to IIMB last year .. and another for Kavz, the sunshine of my life through 2006.
Myself: Huh. I'm actually stumped... though I think these 3 posts capture me pretty well ... my love for conversation, who I judge and who I admire. Seriously, there's just a little too much about me on this blog to be able to pick and choose.
My love: Yeah whatever. Nexttt....
Anything I like: We're talking words, cooking, broad genres of people, and things I hope the world is never without!
Ok! Now to pass this on!!!
3 familiar people to tag: Penguin, Lucky and Quirky Quill.
2 unfamiliar people ...emm ... ok how about I tag Nutty and Somewhere over the Rainbow! :)
Orkut lameness ...and free grammar tips ..
I thought it was bad enough when on putting up a niceish pic on orkut, I start receiving random friend requests and scraps from guys wanting to "make" friendship. (More on this later)
The pits is when I get that from a WOMAN!!!
Ok so here's the later portion (ref above) and some other grammatical facts I'd like to put out there:
====================================
1. One does not "Make" friendship with another.
Wrong wrong usage ... head hurts... STOP!
You can "be" friends with someone, maybe even "become" their friend, and at most they could "make" you their friend. But you don't "make" friendship! Which reminds me of "Make love... Not friendship"
ORRR... maybe not! :D
2. The word is 'anyway' NOT 'anyways'.
As in "I'll come over anyway" or "Anyway, that's all there is to the story".
Really! That's how it started, and then someone figured they'd add the grammatically incorrect 's' at the end of the word, and suddenly it's caught on!!! So to everyone who's succumbed to this disease - I repeat - It's 'ANYWAY' - NOT 'ANYWAYS'
3. The question tag for a 1st person statement is "Aren't I".
Indeed, the tag "aren't I" exists!!! As in, "I'm totally awesome and talented, aren't I?" (Not necessarily a rhetorical question that...). No it's NOT limited to plural 1st person contexts.
"Ain't" is a more colloquial (and recently turned formally correct) option, but "aren't I" is the proper tag to be used.
Just saying.
4. It's pronounced "OppErtunity" (not spelled, just pronounced like that) NOT "appOrtunity".
And spelled "opportunity", of course. You get the drift ...
=========================================
Yes, I'm a NAZI about these things. Yes, that's the end of today's grammar lesson. Oh, I'm much better health-wise and all that :-)
Kbai!
The pits is when I get that from a WOMAN!!!
Ok so here's the later portion (ref above) and some other grammatical facts I'd like to put out there:
====================================
1. One does not "Make" friendship with another.
Wrong wrong usage ... head hurts... STOP!
You can "be" friends with someone, maybe even "become" their friend, and at most they could "make" you their friend. But you don't "make" friendship! Which reminds me of "Make love... Not friendship"
ORRR... maybe not! :D
2. The word is 'anyway' NOT 'anyways'.
As in "I'll come over anyway" or "Anyway, that's all there is to the story".
Really! That's how it started, and then someone figured they'd add the grammatically incorrect 's' at the end of the word, and suddenly it's caught on!!! So to everyone who's succumbed to this disease - I repeat - It's 'ANYWAY' - NOT 'ANYWAYS'
3. The question tag for a 1st person statement is "Aren't I".
Indeed, the tag "aren't I" exists!!! As in, "I'm totally awesome and talented, aren't I?" (Not necessarily a rhetorical question that...). No it's NOT limited to plural 1st person contexts.
"Ain't" is a more colloquial (and recently turned formally correct) option, but "aren't I" is the proper tag to be used.
Just saying.
4. It's pronounced "OppErtunity" (not spelled, just pronounced like that) NOT "appOrtunity".
And spelled "opportunity", of course. You get the drift ...
=========================================
Yes, I'm a NAZI about these things. Yes, that's the end of today's grammar lesson. Oh, I'm much better health-wise and all that :-)
Kbai!
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Gimme a break ..
And I mean that in the nicest sense possible!
I've been getting mails and comments on how 'it's been so long since you posted' and 'could you please write something new' and 'we're oh so tired of refreshing and reading that post on intent' that I'm flattered to the T! Sacchi, it's such an ego boost, as I was telling a friend, to have someone push you to write, almost the same as someone saying, we love hearing you talk, get up on that podium and say something, ANYthing!! :-)
I'm just back from a lovely vacation in Malaysia (Langkawi/ Genting and KL) and Cambodia (Siem Reap and Phonm Penh) and will soon regale you with tales of my first ever casino visit, downing and suffering the much renowned 'Happy Pizza' and firing a real AK47 (yeah I know!!! :D) ....pictures will also be shared and many pending tags shall be achieved!
However, the reason that'll all be later, and not right away, is cause I'm down with the worst case of cough and cold. I haven't had it this bad since I was 14 and had to be taken to a hospital all blue lipped and suffocating (there's a story of how i fought with the doc to let me go take my exams from the hospital coz I couldn't stand the thought of giving up my rank - but let's indulge in tales of my geekdom some other time) and hooked up to a saline drip with needles stuck in my arm for 7 (GASP!) days.
Every morning I think I'm better and go to work, spend the day working in aircon and talking normally (frequency AND volume), only to end up with a horrid bout of coughing in the evening that doesn't let me sleep until 3 am. COUGH! Sputter .. GAH!
Yes I've seen the doctor. Yes I have someone to care for me (Penguin cooks and cares for me at times like these - the angel!) and no, I don't think this of all things will kill me. But I'm staying in bed until I feel perfect enough to leave the house, indulge in dramatics (pun intended!) and sing aloud without sounding like a frog princess!
So any blogging will happen only post that. Please to put up with the break in writing, and HEY! send in your sympathies :-) They work faster than meds and are DEF less sleep inducing! :D
See ya all soon! Till then, we're on a break!!! :D
I've been getting mails and comments on how 'it's been so long since you posted' and 'could you please write something new' and 'we're oh so tired of refreshing and reading that post on intent' that I'm flattered to the T! Sacchi, it's such an ego boost, as I was telling a friend, to have someone push you to write, almost the same as someone saying, we love hearing you talk, get up on that podium and say something, ANYthing!! :-)
I'm just back from a lovely vacation in Malaysia (Langkawi/ Genting and KL) and Cambodia (Siem Reap and Phonm Penh) and will soon regale you with tales of my first ever casino visit, downing and suffering the much renowned 'Happy Pizza' and firing a real AK47 (yeah I know!!! :D) ....pictures will also be shared and many pending tags shall be achieved!
However, the reason that'll all be later, and not right away, is cause I'm down with the worst case of cough and cold. I haven't had it this bad since I was 14 and had to be taken to a hospital all blue lipped and suffocating (there's a story of how i fought with the doc to let me go take my exams from the hospital coz I couldn't stand the thought of giving up my rank - but let's indulge in tales of my geekdom some other time) and hooked up to a saline drip with needles stuck in my arm for 7 (GASP!) days.
Every morning I think I'm better and go to work, spend the day working in aircon and talking normally (frequency AND volume), only to end up with a horrid bout of coughing in the evening that doesn't let me sleep until 3 am. COUGH! Sputter .. GAH!
Yes I've seen the doctor. Yes I have someone to care for me (Penguin cooks and cares for me at times like these - the angel!) and no, I don't think this of all things will kill me. But I'm staying in bed until I feel perfect enough to leave the house, indulge in dramatics (pun intended!) and sing aloud without sounding like a frog princess!
So any blogging will happen only post that. Please to put up with the break in writing, and HEY! send in your sympathies :-) They work faster than meds and are DEF less sleep inducing! :D
See ya all soon! Till then, we're on a break!!! :D
Friday, February 01, 2008
Of intent...
It's been such an awful time, and work has managed to camouflage it all really well. My mum waited a few days to talk to me cause I was either sitting on the seniors' side of the floor and couldn't talk beyond a whisper or cause it was too late my time by the time she got out of her signal disrupting local train journeys in the evening. And there's others who tried getting through, got told i'd call back and never did.
But there's still others I'd make time for. Not even people I manage and get paid to make time for. But people that I have the "intent" for.
Like the Penguin. There's always one random conversation through the day that we do on the phone. There's times I tell her i'll call back, and sometimes 5 hours pass by the time I do, but I do. I call. Cause the intent is there.
Or N, who sits across the floor from me, also on the seniors side of the floor. And even through my busiest days there's still always 5 minutes where I walk over and sit cross-legged on his desk and take the time to catch up. Intent.
Too many friends who went to b-school have demonstrated how they get sucked into a warp of activity. That little zone of familiar people, of busy days and schedules that makes the outside world fade into oblivion. That delusion of being in a society/ neighborhood for life.
Unless there's intent of course.
People have made relationships survive even through these phases. And maintained friendships. Not cause they could. But cause they wanted to. And of course various commitments took up various degrees of time and energy. But it always took intent to fuel any investment of either.
While in b-school, I once asked my future telling friend how long my closest friend, SP, would stay in my life (cause I'd started to see how I was pushing her away as the terms progressed, and it bothered me that I seemed to have little intent to keep our once wonderful friendship going) and he told me "As long as you'll want her to".
It really was as simple as that. Intent. Ironic that S is today in the same bschool I went to, and we're going through a role reversal of sorts, and now having wised up to this bschool routine, I'm just calmly biding my time for the day that she indicates she's ready to have me back in her life. It'd be so easy to doubt her intent, had we not had all that time together before we parted ways. But now, we've seen enough to inspire faith in me about my place in her life.
What I think I started out saying, and lost somewhere in deliberate meandering of prose, is that regardless of how busy, how stressed or how crazy we think our lives are, if we're not able to accommodate some people, it's likely cause we don't want it badly enough. (No, I don't enjoy the conflict ridden conversations I have with my mom these days, and let me not even get into the issue of the "other" people I'm 'avoiding').
Conversely, if we're constantly making space and time for some others, even looking forward to investing that space and time in them, it's a sign of something bigger, hopefully better. We're lucky to feel intent at all. And for that, I hope we're being thankful.
But there's still others I'd make time for. Not even people I manage and get paid to make time for. But people that I have the "intent" for.
Like the Penguin. There's always one random conversation through the day that we do on the phone. There's times I tell her i'll call back, and sometimes 5 hours pass by the time I do, but I do. I call. Cause the intent is there.
Or N, who sits across the floor from me, also on the seniors side of the floor. And even through my busiest days there's still always 5 minutes where I walk over and sit cross-legged on his desk and take the time to catch up. Intent.
Too many friends who went to b-school have demonstrated how they get sucked into a warp of activity. That little zone of familiar people, of busy days and schedules that makes the outside world fade into oblivion. That delusion of being in a society/ neighborhood for life.
Unless there's intent of course.
People have made relationships survive even through these phases. And maintained friendships. Not cause they could. But cause they wanted to. And of course various commitments took up various degrees of time and energy. But it always took intent to fuel any investment of either.
While in b-school, I once asked my future telling friend how long my closest friend, SP, would stay in my life (cause I'd started to see how I was pushing her away as the terms progressed, and it bothered me that I seemed to have little intent to keep our once wonderful friendship going) and he told me "As long as you'll want her to".
It really was as simple as that. Intent. Ironic that S is today in the same bschool I went to, and we're going through a role reversal of sorts, and now having wised up to this bschool routine, I'm just calmly biding my time for the day that she indicates she's ready to have me back in her life. It'd be so easy to doubt her intent, had we not had all that time together before we parted ways. But now, we've seen enough to inspire faith in me about my place in her life.
What I think I started out saying, and lost somewhere in deliberate meandering of prose, is that regardless of how busy, how stressed or how crazy we think our lives are, if we're not able to accommodate some people, it's likely cause we don't want it badly enough. (No, I don't enjoy the conflict ridden conversations I have with my mom these days, and let me not even get into the issue of the "other" people I'm 'avoiding').
Conversely, if we're constantly making space and time for some others, even looking forward to investing that space and time in them, it's a sign of something bigger, hopefully better. We're lucky to feel intent at all. And for that, I hope we're being thankful.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
A new template ...
That brilliant splash of autumn colors on the new template is a picture clicked with a regular camera at Central Park, NY, on November 7th, 2007. And now the entire template has been revamped to "Fall colors" ... reds, oranges, yellows and greens...
I cannot sleep cause I've been staring at it lovestruck for a while now ... Wat a beauty!
p.s: (Just to be clear, the regular camera belongs to a very special Ms. Mogambo and has been broken, replaced by her fiance and lost again- who will break this family jinx? - the mystery continues...)
Edited to add: In the spirit of giving credit where it's due, my inspiration to do this was Ms. Penguin
I cannot sleep cause I've been staring at it lovestruck for a while now ... Wat a beauty!
p.s: (Just to be clear, the regular camera belongs to a very special Ms. Mogambo and has been broken, replaced by her fiance and lost again- who will break this family jinx? - the mystery continues...)
Edited to add: In the spirit of giving credit where it's due, my inspiration to do this was Ms. Penguin
Monday, January 28, 2008
I love ...
- Mornings that start with music of the best kind ... read "Kholo Kholo" from Taare Zameen Par and "Sakhi Piya" from Khoya Khoya Chand ... no one in the bus can figure out what mad person would grin SO much on a Monday morning en route to work .. :-)
- Early morning dreams that tell me my life will turn out exactly the way I wish it to ... I lou!!! They're hilarious in their own way because of the impossible scenarios they make true, but that's probably why I love them so! :D
- Playing song games with Penguin and IceCreamBoy. No really. It's too much fun. I give them random words they need to contain in songs, "Antaras" sans the tune and they need to compete to figure out the song, I play the starting 15 s of songs from the last 4 decades and they have to guess which one it is ... the more arcane, the better the competition gets ... I spent the weekend at Penguin's place cause it was too depressing to work alone at home, and seriously I had so much fun playing in breaks and getting pampered by them both - chai at my desk, inspirational DJing by IB and amazing homemade breakfast that Penguin cooks up. I love these guys!!!
- Discovering interesting people across the world. Like last night I read this post Chandni wrote about herself way back, and realized this woman's like a twin living in another part of the world... I even have little silly quirks that are the same as hers! And after 6 months of reading Ganju's blog, I discovered he's my senior from B School! That the MadMomma is a friend of a friend! I love love love that the world is so small, and the blogworld that let's me discover exactly how small :-)
- This blog. :-) Getting back to writing is the best gift I gave myself last year. That and the promise to travel and cook and read and more. And the chance to talk about all of it. The most wonderful thing about blogging is something I described to a friend, about how this growing courage to speak up online slowly seeps into real life too. Being a braver person and less afraid of judgment is fulla awesome! Who wouldn't love? :D Oh, let's not forget the awesome people I've gotten to know through this medium. Years from now, I'll cite this as the thing that brought about the turning point in life in many ways. But years from now. Not now :)
- My amma. I'm putting her through the worst kind of pain right now and giving her sleepless nights worrying about my future .. all this for reasons beyond my control. I wish I knew how to handle this any better. But I don't. I wish there was an easier way to let her know I understand what she's going through dealing with me and that I see no other way for it to be right now.
But she doesn't read this blog and I'm too proud to say it to her on the phone (when we do get time off from arguing with each other over the hot topic of the season - my marriage - more like the non occurrence of it) so she'll never know. She'll only continue to wonder how between a kind reasonable person like herself and my mild mannered father, they managed to produce the stubborn willful daughter that I am.
And coz I can't face her right now on a medium that doesn't let me hang up on will, I'll travel to India on work next month and avoid going home to Bombay. Sigh. Did I mention I love her?
- Early morning dreams that tell me my life will turn out exactly the way I wish it to ... I lou!!! They're hilarious in their own way because of the impossible scenarios they make true, but that's probably why I love them so! :D
- Playing song games with Penguin and IceCreamBoy. No really. It's too much fun. I give them random words they need to contain in songs, "Antaras" sans the tune and they need to compete to figure out the song, I play the starting 15 s of songs from the last 4 decades and they have to guess which one it is ... the more arcane, the better the competition gets ... I spent the weekend at Penguin's place cause it was too depressing to work alone at home, and seriously I had so much fun playing in breaks and getting pampered by them both - chai at my desk, inspirational DJing by IB and amazing homemade breakfast that Penguin cooks up. I love these guys!!!
- Discovering interesting people across the world. Like last night I read this post Chandni wrote about herself way back, and realized this woman's like a twin living in another part of the world... I even have little silly quirks that are the same as hers! And after 6 months of reading Ganju's blog, I discovered he's my senior from B School! That the MadMomma is a friend of a friend! I love love love that the world is so small, and the blogworld that let's me discover exactly how small :-)
- This blog. :-) Getting back to writing is the best gift I gave myself last year. That and the promise to travel and cook and read and more. And the chance to talk about all of it. The most wonderful thing about blogging is something I described to a friend, about how this growing courage to speak up online slowly seeps into real life too. Being a braver person and less afraid of judgment is fulla awesome! Who wouldn't love? :D Oh, let's not forget the awesome people I've gotten to know through this medium. Years from now, I'll cite this as the thing that brought about the turning point in life in many ways. But years from now. Not now :)
- My amma. I'm putting her through the worst kind of pain right now and giving her sleepless nights worrying about my future .. all this for reasons beyond my control. I wish I knew how to handle this any better. But I don't. I wish there was an easier way to let her know I understand what she's going through dealing with me and that I see no other way for it to be right now.
But she doesn't read this blog and I'm too proud to say it to her on the phone (when we do get time off from arguing with each other over the hot topic of the season - my marriage - more like the non occurrence of it) so she'll never know. She'll only continue to wonder how between a kind reasonable person like herself and my mild mannered father, they managed to produce the stubborn willful daughter that I am.
And coz I can't face her right now on a medium that doesn't let me hang up on will, I'll travel to India on work next month and avoid going home to Bombay. Sigh. Did I mention I love her?
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Today's fortune ....
"You and your wife will be happy in your life together"
Yeah, after THIS incident, my fortune on Orkut sounds just about right ... I'm tired of saying Alas ... Sigh!
Yeah, after THIS incident, my fortune on Orkut sounds just about right ... I'm tired of saying Alas ... Sigh!
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Right .. so an eventful start to the year ...
Indeed it has been. In more ways than can be described. Not that that's ever stopped me eh? So here's what the year's looking like .. so far and now on ...
- Drama: (No, not the kind I'm an expert at! The REAL thing! Theatre and all!!) The last play production I worked on was in engineering college and ever since although the intent's been around, initiative just never overtook my lethargy.
I remember thinking at the end of last year that new things need to happen in life, beyond the singing and blogging and cooking .. and Voila! an opportunity to asst direct an independent production comes knocking at my door (my inbox is more like it - but I live in a virtual world and it's all the same to me!) :-)
I won't get into details of the how and why and when, suffice to say that 6 hours every Saturday and Sunday are now spent at drama rehearsals and the medley of short stories goes on stage end May 2008.
(Did i just jinx this myself? Do i believe in the concept of jinxes? Wh00 knows!)
If you're in town, you shall be invited. Pls to grace with kind presence! :) (Or not! :D)
- Storytelling: This one continues from last year. Seriously, reading stories to 4 - 6 year olds at the Library is the best stress-buster there ever was. :-) For those of you with kids in the age range, do land up on Saturdays at the kids' reading section at half past midday if the kiddos are game for a fun story session :-)
The most exciting start to the storytelling this year was a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle that the library gifted me for being a wonderphool volunteer and storyteller :D
(Pls note: They have many many volunteers and I go twice a month when they ask me to turn up for English reading. Do NOT walk up to the storyteller and ask if she's Ms. Unpredictable. It doesn't sound particularly flattering esp if being enigmatic and complex isn't appealing to the lady in question)
On special request from Mogambo, the jigsaw puzzle shall be saved until her wedding in March when the 4some (Mogambo the bride, Superman the groom, PuppyManohar the best man, and Unpredictable the err ... best woman :P) will solve it together and gift to the newlywed couple :-)
Who would've thought reading to 4 yr olds at a library could end up in so much unrelated fun :D
- Travel: One mini trip in Feb to Malaysia and Cambodia with the b-school gang, something we've had planned for about 2 months now. Another to the West Coast of the You Yes Yay later this year (in keeping with the 'one big trip a year' tradition, and with the kind grace of my one year visa which expires this October!) and sundry others back home and on work ... varrry exciting no? :-)
- Spanish: I've been promising myself this 'one new language' thing for a while now. After mild deliberation and alternately swinging between French and Spanish, I let Wikipedia decide for me and hence the most populous language it shall be!
This language thing gets relegated to the 2nd half of this year though, there's WAY too much happening right now. I'm barely managing to sleep and meet friends over weekends and anymore will be overkill! But someone chase me for this in June ok? (wat a hopeful indeed!)
- Cooking: I've promised to learn one new recipe, one for each of 10 major Indian states. So there's Avial from Kerala, Gojju from Karnataka, Undhiyon from Gujarat, Sabudana Khichdi from Maharashtra, Koftas from Kashmir .... emmm .. someone help with the rest?
(Wat an enthu pataaki no!!)
So that's the 5 biggies for the year. Not so much resolutions, more like things to remember this year by. I'm going to hold myself to them, if nothing else, the impending shame at breaking a public commitment will ensure i follow through with them all! :)
And on a related note, something that captures the essence of what I want this year, and every subsequent year to be is this post by Chandni, more so cause it articulates exactly what's been running through my mind for some months now. (Chandni, I don't know how or where you found this, but I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN!!! It's like he took the words right out of my mouth!)
And while I'm indulging in self-rant anyway, here's a post dedicated to your's truly in response to my question "What does 'Alas but hurrah' mean?" to an earlier post on the same blog.
Talented bunch of boys, aren't these? :-) If randomness is your thing, then this blog is IT.
----------------------------------------------------
Tata my lovelies! Good night and sleep well and in case I haven't said this already, have a wonderful new year!!! :)
- Drama: (No, not the kind I'm an expert at! The REAL thing! Theatre and all!!) The last play production I worked on was in engineering college and ever since although the intent's been around, initiative just never overtook my lethargy.
I remember thinking at the end of last year that new things need to happen in life, beyond the singing and blogging and cooking .. and Voila! an opportunity to asst direct an independent production comes knocking at my door (my inbox is more like it - but I live in a virtual world and it's all the same to me!) :-)
I won't get into details of the how and why and when, suffice to say that 6 hours every Saturday and Sunday are now spent at drama rehearsals and the medley of short stories goes on stage end May 2008.
(Did i just jinx this myself? Do i believe in the concept of jinxes? Wh00 knows!)
If you're in town, you shall be invited. Pls to grace with kind presence! :) (Or not! :D)
- Storytelling: This one continues from last year. Seriously, reading stories to 4 - 6 year olds at the Library is the best stress-buster there ever was. :-) For those of you with kids in the age range, do land up on Saturdays at the kids' reading section at half past midday if the kiddos are game for a fun story session :-)
The most exciting start to the storytelling this year was a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle that the library gifted me for being a wonderphool volunteer and storyteller :D
(Pls note: They have many many volunteers and I go twice a month when they ask me to turn up for English reading. Do NOT walk up to the storyteller and ask if she's Ms. Unpredictable. It doesn't sound particularly flattering esp if being enigmatic and complex isn't appealing to the lady in question)
On special request from Mogambo, the jigsaw puzzle shall be saved until her wedding in March when the 4some (Mogambo the bride, Superman the groom, PuppyManohar the best man, and Unpredictable the err ... best woman :P) will solve it together and gift to the newlywed couple :-)
Who would've thought reading to 4 yr olds at a library could end up in so much unrelated fun :D
- Travel: One mini trip in Feb to Malaysia and Cambodia with the b-school gang, something we've had planned for about 2 months now. Another to the West Coast of the You Yes Yay later this year (in keeping with the 'one big trip a year' tradition, and with the kind grace of my one year visa which expires this October!) and sundry others back home and on work ... varrry exciting no? :-)
- Spanish: I've been promising myself this 'one new language' thing for a while now. After mild deliberation and alternately swinging between French and Spanish, I let Wikipedia decide for me and hence the most populous language it shall be!
This language thing gets relegated to the 2nd half of this year though, there's WAY too much happening right now. I'm barely managing to sleep and meet friends over weekends and anymore will be overkill! But someone chase me for this in June ok? (wat a hopeful indeed!)
- Cooking: I've promised to learn one new recipe, one for each of 10 major Indian states. So there's Avial from Kerala, Gojju from Karnataka, Undhiyon from Gujarat, Sabudana Khichdi from Maharashtra, Koftas from Kashmir .... emmm .. someone help with the rest?
(Wat an enthu pataaki no!!)
So that's the 5 biggies for the year. Not so much resolutions, more like things to remember this year by. I'm going to hold myself to them, if nothing else, the impending shame at breaking a public commitment will ensure i follow through with them all! :)
And on a related note, something that captures the essence of what I want this year, and every subsequent year to be is this post by Chandni, more so cause it articulates exactly what's been running through my mind for some months now. (Chandni, I don't know how or where you found this, but I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN!!! It's like he took the words right out of my mouth!)
And while I'm indulging in self-rant anyway, here's a post dedicated to your's truly in response to my question "What does 'Alas but hurrah' mean?" to an earlier post on the same blog.
Talented bunch of boys, aren't these? :-) If randomness is your thing, then this blog is IT.
----------------------------------------------------
Tata my lovelies! Good night and sleep well and in case I haven't said this already, have a wonderful new year!!! :)
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Alas indeed ...
In a random survey conducted yesterday in a room of about 10 men and 10 women, 8 out of 10 men said they wouldn't consider going out with me for 1 of 2 cited reasons:
1. I'm too quiet (LOL?)
2. Variations of I'm too scary/ I'd yell at them (Appallingly unoriginal or eerily consistent?)
Also note that of the 2 men who did, 1 was my dear N who cannot see me in any other manner but fraternal and the other was this nice but polite dude who said yes to pretty much every woman he'd ever spoken to before, in the spirit of being nice and all (yeah, doesn't count!)
Life is an alas indeed. Sigh.
Well, even if I'm doomed to dying alone, I can be assured I'll go quietly and with a mind unburdened of grudges, having unloaded onto the objects of my grudges by yelling at them.
Silver lining? No? Oh well ....
Edited to add: The statistical expert (ahem) in me woke up this morning and realized I need to point out, 10 men doesn't count as a stastistically significant base (30 is the bare minimum) so don't go concluding that 80% of the random men in this world would not go out with me. It could be true, but please note that conclusion would be independent of the story above :)
Also edited to add: Wow. This seemingly silly post might actually end up with the highest comment rate on my blog. Ever. Whoever would have thought that the alasness of my life would be such a motivator. More Alas!
P.P.P.S: A friend asked me this evening if i was speed dating (based on the story above). Emm .. let me clarify that I was NOT. (I don't judge anyone who does!) I was with a bunch of friends I don't spend a lot of time with and seriously clam up around for many reasons. So I understand that their impression of me is exactly what I want it to be. For those who mailed/ msged me out of concern, I'm not upset or anything close to it. Just clarifying :-)
1. I'm too quiet (LOL?)
2. Variations of I'm too scary/ I'd yell at them (Appallingly unoriginal or eerily consistent?)
Also note that of the 2 men who did, 1 was my dear N who cannot see me in any other manner but fraternal and the other was this nice but polite dude who said yes to pretty much every woman he'd ever spoken to before, in the spirit of being nice and all (yeah, doesn't count!)
Life is an alas indeed. Sigh.
Well, even if I'm doomed to dying alone, I can be assured I'll go quietly and with a mind unburdened of grudges, having unloaded onto the objects of my grudges by yelling at them.
Silver lining? No? Oh well ....
Edited to add: The statistical expert (ahem) in me woke up this morning and realized I need to point out, 10 men doesn't count as a stastistically significant base (30 is the bare minimum) so don't go concluding that 80% of the random men in this world would not go out with me. It could be true, but please note that conclusion would be independent of the story above :)
Also edited to add: Wow. This seemingly silly post might actually end up with the highest comment rate on my blog. Ever. Whoever would have thought that the alasness of my life would be such a motivator. More Alas!
P.P.P.S: A friend asked me this evening if i was speed dating (based on the story above). Emm .. let me clarify that I was NOT. (I don't judge anyone who does!) I was with a bunch of friends I don't spend a lot of time with and seriously clam up around for many reasons. So I understand that their impression of me is exactly what I want it to be. For those who mailed/ msged me out of concern, I'm not upset or anything close to it. Just clarifying :-)
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Coffee bytes ...
There's something to be said of a cup of coffee with its trademark bitterness.
Only one who can down it and enjoy it with that vile streak can actually know and love coffee as it is. The rest who try to sugar it down aren't really drinking coffee no?
Only one who can down it and enjoy it with that vile streak can actually know and love coffee as it is. The rest who try to sugar it down aren't really drinking coffee no?
I wonder how coffee feels about this ...
Can coffee feel?
Monday, January 21, 2008
I'm learning about conversation ...
A few things than can be done to make someone feel at ease vs. feeling like a failure of a conversationalist .. once in a while .. (when one is feeling extra generous maybe?)
Nod along:.... or at least raise eye brows once in a while. This assures the 'talker' you haven't died of sheer boredom at their stories and encourages them to continue to tell you more. When you give the 'talker' the very serene yet very blank look, it's the non verbal equivalent of saying "Bugger off, you're stories are BORRRING, I don't want!"
(Unless you want them to shut up, in which case, staring stone like at them should pretty much do the trick)
Smile: ....maybe, just maybe, offer a hint of a smile when they're trying to tell you funny things or trying to amuse you? Bridges are usually built in this manner with unfamiliar people. It's laughter that brings souls together at least in the beginning of an acquaintance, so dole it out in generous amounts. Too tough? A mere smile then? Thanksverymuch! We all know expensive they are .. so thanks for sharing ...
(Unless the 'talker' has an appalling unfortunate sense of (non) humor, in which case you really shouldn't be around them too much, and the stony expression is SO the way to tell them that. You keep right at it! Bravo!)
Contribute: ... meaningfully so: You know how they taught us that to be successful at group discussions, one needs to take off from where someone else left off so it offers the illusion that you were actually listening? Surprisingly, the rule doesn't only apply to GDs when you're cracking B school processes. It also applies to real life situations, so apparently when someone says A ... I must try to say something that's connected to A (hopefully A isn't so dreadfully dull / esoteric / complex/ irrelevant that I can't possibly think of a way to contribute or build off it) and that's how it all works! Brilliant!
(That's when we call it a conversation btw .. when we talk to each other ... not when we talk alongside each other... that's just a dual monologue ... NOW U know :-)
I'm just saying, you know ...
Nod along:.... or at least raise eye brows once in a while. This assures the 'talker' you haven't died of sheer boredom at their stories and encourages them to continue to tell you more. When you give the 'talker' the very serene yet very blank look, it's the non verbal equivalent of saying "Bugger off, you're stories are BORRRING, I don't want!"
(Unless you want them to shut up, in which case, staring stone like at them should pretty much do the trick)
Smile: ....maybe, just maybe, offer a hint of a smile when they're trying to tell you funny things or trying to amuse you? Bridges are usually built in this manner with unfamiliar people. It's laughter that brings souls together at least in the beginning of an acquaintance, so dole it out in generous amounts. Too tough? A mere smile then? Thanksverymuch! We all know expensive they are .. so thanks for sharing ...
(Unless the 'talker' has an appalling unfortunate sense of (non) humor, in which case you really shouldn't be around them too much, and the stony expression is SO the way to tell them that. You keep right at it! Bravo!)
Contribute: ... meaningfully so: You know how they taught us that to be successful at group discussions, one needs to take off from where someone else left off so it offers the illusion that you were actually listening? Surprisingly, the rule doesn't only apply to GDs when you're cracking B school processes. It also applies to real life situations, so apparently when someone says A ... I must try to say something that's connected to A (hopefully A isn't so dreadfully dull / esoteric / complex/ irrelevant that I can't possibly think of a way to contribute or build off it) and that's how it all works! Brilliant!
(That's when we call it a conversation btw .. when we talk to each other ... not when we talk alongside each other... that's just a dual monologue ... NOW U know :-)
I'm just saying, you know ...
Thursday, January 17, 2008
In home cooking ...
It's been about 10 days since I cooked and ate a decent meal at home. I've lost my appetite recently. Stopped running. And blogging, in case anyone was keeping track. Exhaustion is catching up. A hectic travel sked is on its way here. It'll be another few weeks of living out of a suitcase, forgetting toothbrushes everywhere I go and literally feeling my system go toxic with all the outside food.
So I'm glad to record that today, after almost 2 weeks, I cooked up a nice meal with rasam (tomato lentil soup of sorts) and cabbage and peas sabji (vegetable dish). The rasam had cilantro. (Baby V, are you listening?) And more tomato than tamarind juice (Mum threateningly wagged her finger in my face last time and went "Too much tamarind makes your bones brittle, use more tomato, not tamarind." as I shuddered from fear of falling apart any minute.) The sabji didn't have dhaniya and chilli powder. Too much lazy came, alas, to put all that.
But I feel content. Tummy wise anyway. :-)
So I'm glad to record that today, after almost 2 weeks, I cooked up a nice meal with rasam (tomato lentil soup of sorts) and cabbage and peas sabji (vegetable dish). The rasam had cilantro. (Baby V, are you listening?) And more tomato than tamarind juice (Mum threateningly wagged her finger in my face last time and went "Too much tamarind makes your bones brittle, use more tomato, not tamarind." as I shuddered from fear of falling apart any minute.) The sabji didn't have dhaniya and chilli powder. Too much lazy came, alas, to put all that.
But I feel content. Tummy wise anyway. :-)
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Anybody there?
Hello anybody who's been visiting and the subset that's wondered where I've disappeared. I'm only here to say
a. there's way too much been happening and it's left me with seriously little time (sometimes inclination, I admit) to blog.
b. Work is 'hecticish' and even as I type I'm in a terrible serviced apartment in Manila just having gotten back from work.
c. The hand issue is back to bite me. I've been type chatting way too much and lugging around heavy suitcases (Did I mention Manila?) and so my right hand is begging for mercy .. serious begging .. so I'm being merciful for now ..
Normal blogging will resume in 3 days or less. Take care and ta! till then :)
a. there's way too much been happening and it's left me with seriously little time (sometimes inclination, I admit) to blog.
b. Work is 'hecticish' and even as I type I'm in a terrible serviced apartment in Manila just having gotten back from work.
c. The hand issue is back to bite me. I've been type chatting way too much and lugging around heavy suitcases (Did I mention Manila?) and so my right hand is begging for mercy .. serious begging .. so I'm being merciful for now ..
Normal blogging will resume in 3 days or less. Take care and ta! till then :)
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Idiotdom in all its glory ..
9 am: Step into office reminding self that meeting with the boss is at 1 pm.
**Spend all of the morning beautifully assembling everything that is due to be sent out. Miss lunch at lunch hour and slot it for after the meeting at 2 pm**
1 pm: Expertly wrap up work and mail out to boss documents as planned (feeling supremely smug at perfection and punctuality)
1.01 pm: Check calendar to realize meeting with boss is actually slotted for 4 pm.
Sigh. I am the VERY personification of idiotdom galore!!!
**Last seen at 1.15 pm walking down to Cedele with copy of Kartography in hand. Meaning to eat pasta salad in joyous and wondrous company of self. Life is not THAT bad after all. :)**
**Spend all of the morning beautifully assembling everything that is due to be sent out. Miss lunch at lunch hour and slot it for after the meeting at 2 pm**
1 pm: Expertly wrap up work and mail out to boss documents as planned (feeling supremely smug at perfection and punctuality)
1.01 pm: Check calendar to realize meeting with boss is actually slotted for 4 pm.
Sigh. I am the VERY personification of idiotdom galore!!!
**Last seen at 1.15 pm walking down to Cedele with copy of Kartography in hand. Meaning to eat pasta salad in joyous and wondrous company of self. Life is not THAT bad after all. :)**
Monday, January 07, 2008
Arrogance
Arrogance ... there's the kind that's defined as displaying overt and unacceptably excessive pride at owning something. That's our classic Webster definition.
But there's another kind. The kind that lets you take for granted things that seem easy to come by...
Like you have this incredible relationship that happened out of the blue, and when you've settled into it 1-2 years down the line and realized the other person still loves you like crazy (know what I mean? Still hangs on to every word you say, still smiles to your smiles, can't have enough of your stories...)
And one fine day you find yourself suddenly thinking "Wow, I'm wonderful and lovable. I'm probably super precious and awesome. (I must be for this person to love me so much no?) Having THIS is SO easy. BUT I want THAT. OUT THERE. Damn ... single life was so awesome. Do I really need this badly enough? Don't I have better things to accomplish than sit around making *this* happen. I have dreams, ambitions, the works. WOW, THERE'S A WHOLE WORLD OUT THERE! WTF AM I DOING TRAPPED HERE!"
{This even if 2 years ago you'd have given an arm and a leg to find someone you could simply talk to without having to tune your frequency to someone's, without "adjusting" ur povs to sound acceptable to them (know what I mean?) and spark with (you crack a seemingly idiotic joke, they laugh from deep down and vice versa, you like listening to their stories and vice versa, you like telling them your stories and vice versa, you care about their welfare and vice versa. Many many many many little yet significant vice versas those.....) }
Or you have this fantastic job. That elusive thing they call a dream career. You know you're doing well. You know you're loved by the boss, the colleagues, everyone. You know you have good stuff in store for you. They like you. They seem to wanna keep you.
One fine day Mr (Ms?) Arrogance visits. Suddenly you're thinking, wait, I don't need to slave anymore. They all LIKE me. In fact, they LOVE me! This is SO easy. I don't need to exceed expectations anymore. I'm IT! I've made it! VAO!!! I'm here to stay!
{This, even if two years ago, you waited in line nervously to see if your resume was one of the 20 that this company picked out of a gifted batch of 250, experienced exhilaration at being picked to interview and AFTER the interview, to find that the job is EVERYTHING you thought it would turn out to be, and thought to yourself "I'm never ever gonna screw this up! Never. EVER"}
Have you heard about the theory of 3 pillars?
(OMG I had to dig into old emails to find something I'd once written about this 3 pillar theory. I must really love blogging to have subjected myself to that!)
The theory says that there's 3 pillars in all our lives - health, relationships and success: And that even if we have 2 of the 3, the third continues to haunt us with its absence, endowing a strange feeling of incompleteness. Also endowing us with a strange arrogance wrt to the pillars we ARE gifted with. Leading to emotions of arrogance expressed above.
There's a section of people who know exactly when they're being stupid enough to let go of something wonderful ... when they're cognizant of the heady feeling that arrogance brings along, and the consequent "idiotdom" they will be tempted to indulge in.
These are the lucky ones, cause the cognizance brings with it the will to keep from losing what they have .. they use friends to put sage advice into their bloated heads, use memories from a deprived past to understand how badly they once wanted this and how much they'll regret it if they lose it as easily as they plan to.
Then there's those who experience the said arrogance over possessing a certain pillar with a casualness that's surprising to those who are deprived of it. Especially when they're oblivious to how tough somebody else is finding it to acquire the very same thing that they're taking for granted.
This is when screw ups occur. Royal screw ups. When people act like utter fools and give up the one thing they once had, to go after the one thing they thought was more important (coz they didn't have it, duh?!) ...
I wonder how it feels after one has achieved what one chased after with a blind vehemence and lost something else in the process, I wonder if all such 'lost' souls are lucky enough to be blessed with another chance to find anything close to what was lost.
Maybe losing what we value the most is sometimes the only way to understand how much it meant when we did have it? Maybe that's the only way we'll never make those mistakes again? Maybe, just maybe, it's life's way of imparting practical lessons that theory can never quite do justice to.
This is my theory. You've had your own practicals no?
But there's another kind. The kind that lets you take for granted things that seem easy to come by...
Like you have this incredible relationship that happened out of the blue, and when you've settled into it 1-2 years down the line and realized the other person still loves you like crazy (know what I mean? Still hangs on to every word you say, still smiles to your smiles, can't have enough of your stories...)
And one fine day you find yourself suddenly thinking "Wow, I'm wonderful and lovable. I'm probably super precious and awesome. (I must be for this person to love me so much no?) Having THIS is SO easy. BUT I want THAT. OUT THERE. Damn ... single life was so awesome. Do I really need this badly enough? Don't I have better things to accomplish than sit around making *this* happen. I have dreams, ambitions, the works. WOW, THERE'S A WHOLE WORLD OUT THERE! WTF AM I DOING TRAPPED HERE!"
{This even if 2 years ago you'd have given an arm and a leg to find someone you could simply talk to without having to tune your frequency to someone's, without "adjusting" ur povs to sound acceptable to them (know what I mean?) and spark with (you crack a seemingly idiotic joke, they laugh from deep down and vice versa, you like listening to their stories and vice versa, you like telling them your stories and vice versa, you care about their welfare and vice versa. Many many many many little yet significant vice versas those.....) }
Or you have this fantastic job. That elusive thing they call a dream career. You know you're doing well. You know you're loved by the boss, the colleagues, everyone. You know you have good stuff in store for you. They like you. They seem to wanna keep you.
One fine day Mr (Ms?) Arrogance visits. Suddenly you're thinking, wait, I don't need to slave anymore. They all LIKE me. In fact, they LOVE me! This is SO easy. I don't need to exceed expectations anymore. I'm IT! I've made it! VAO!!! I'm here to stay!
{This, even if two years ago, you waited in line nervously to see if your resume was one of the 20 that this company picked out of a gifted batch of 250, experienced exhilaration at being picked to interview and AFTER the interview, to find that the job is EVERYTHING you thought it would turn out to be, and thought to yourself "I'm never ever gonna screw this up! Never. EVER"}
Have you heard about the theory of 3 pillars?
(OMG I had to dig into old emails to find something I'd once written about this 3 pillar theory. I must really love blogging to have subjected myself to that!)
The theory says that there's 3 pillars in all our lives - health, relationships and success: And that even if we have 2 of the 3, the third continues to haunt us with its absence, endowing a strange feeling of incompleteness. Also endowing us with a strange arrogance wrt to the pillars we ARE gifted with. Leading to emotions of arrogance expressed above.
There's a section of people who know exactly when they're being stupid enough to let go of something wonderful ... when they're cognizant of the heady feeling that arrogance brings along, and the consequent "idiotdom" they will be tempted to indulge in.
These are the lucky ones, cause the cognizance brings with it the will to keep from losing what they have .. they use friends to put sage advice into their bloated heads, use memories from a deprived past to understand how badly they once wanted this and how much they'll regret it if they lose it as easily as they plan to.
Then there's those who experience the said arrogance over possessing a certain pillar with a casualness that's surprising to those who are deprived of it. Especially when they're oblivious to how tough somebody else is finding it to acquire the very same thing that they're taking for granted.
This is when screw ups occur. Royal screw ups. When people act like utter fools and give up the one thing they once had, to go after the one thing they thought was more important (coz they didn't have it, duh?!) ...
I wonder how it feels after one has achieved what one chased after with a blind vehemence and lost something else in the process, I wonder if all such 'lost' souls are lucky enough to be blessed with another chance to find anything close to what was lost.
Maybe losing what we value the most is sometimes the only way to understand how much it meant when we did have it? Maybe that's the only way we'll never make those mistakes again? Maybe, just maybe, it's life's way of imparting practical lessons that theory can never quite do justice to.
This is my theory. You've had your own practicals no?
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