Arrogance

Arrogance ... there's the kind that's defined as displaying overt and unacceptably excessive pride at owning something. That's our classic Webster definition.

But there's another kind. The kind that lets you take for granted things that seem easy to come by...

Like you have this incredible relationship that happened out of the blue, and when you've settled into it 1-2 years down the line and realized the other person still loves you like crazy (know what I mean? Still hangs on to every word you say, still smiles to your smiles, can't have enough of your stories...)

And one fine day you find yourself suddenly thinking "Wow, I'm wonderful and lovable. I'm probably super precious and awesome. (I must be for this person to love me so much no?) Having THIS is SO easy. BUT I want THAT. OUT THERE. Damn ... single life was so awesome. Do I really need this badly enough? Don't I have better things to accomplish than sit around making *this* happen. I have dreams, ambitions, the works. WOW, THERE'S A WHOLE WORLD OUT THERE! WTF AM I DOING TRAPPED HERE!"

{This even if 2 years ago you'd have given an arm and a leg to find someone you could simply talk to without having to tune your frequency to someone's, without "adjusting" ur povs to sound acceptable to them (know what I mean?) and spark with (you crack a seemingly idiotic joke, they laugh from deep down and vice versa, you like listening to their stories and vice versa, you like telling them your stories and vice versa, you care about their welfare and vice versa. Many many many many little yet significant vice versas those.....) }

Or you have this fantastic job. That elusive thing they call a dream career. You know you're doing well. You know you're loved by the boss, the colleagues, everyone. You know you have good stuff in store for you. They like you. They seem to wanna keep you.

One fine day Mr (Ms?) Arrogance visits. Suddenly you're thinking, wait, I don't need to slave anymore. They all LIKE me. In fact, they LOVE me! This is SO easy. I don't need to exceed expectations anymore. I'm IT! I've made it! VAO!!! I'm here to stay!

{This, even if two years ago, you waited in line nervously to see if your resume was one of the 20 that this company picked out of a gifted batch of 250, experienced exhilaration at being picked to interview and AFTER the interview, to find that the job is EVERYTHING you thought it would turn out to be, and thought to yourself "I'm never ever gonna screw this up! Never. EVER"}


Have you heard about the theory of 3 pillars?

(OMG I had to dig into old emails to find something I'd once written about this 3 pillar theory. I must really love blogging to have subjected myself to that!)

The theory says that there's 3 pillars in all our lives - health, relationships and success: And that even if we have 2 of the 3, the third continues to haunt us with its absence, endowing a strange feeling of incompleteness. Also endowing us with a strange arrogance wrt to the pillars we ARE gifted with. Leading to emotions of arrogance expressed above.

There's a section of people who know exactly when they're being stupid enough to let go of something wonderful ... when they're cognizant of the heady feeling that arrogance brings along, and the consequent "idiotdom" they will be tempted to indulge in.

These are the lucky ones, cause the cognizance brings with it the will to keep from losing what they have .. they use friends to put sage advice into their bloated heads, use memories from a deprived past to understand how badly they once wanted this and how much they'll regret it if they lose it as easily as they plan to.

Then there's those who experience the said arrogance over possessing a certain pillar with a casualness that's surprising to those who are deprived of it. Especially when they're oblivious to how tough somebody else is finding it to acquire the very same thing that they're taking for granted.

This is when screw ups occur. Royal screw ups. When people act like utter fools and give up the one thing they once had, to go after the one thing they thought was more important (coz they didn't have it, duh?!) ...

I wonder how it feels after one has achieved what one chased after with a blind vehemence and lost something else in the process, I wonder if all such 'lost' souls are lucky enough to be blessed with another chance to find anything close to what was lost.

Maybe losing what we value the most is sometimes the only way to understand how much it meant when we did have it? Maybe that's the only way we'll never make those mistakes again? Maybe, just maybe, it's life's way of imparting practical lessons that theory can never quite do justice to.

This is my theory. You've had your own practicals no?