Thursday, March 06, 2008

And .. To women ..

The Penguin has left for home and this post was supposed to come even before the earlier one... for some reason I couldn't get myself to dictate it .. So here goes ... to women .. again .. likely a section that this isn't addressed to .. definitely a section it IS.

- What is it about heels?

They're uncomfortable, they're bad for the back in the long term and really, no one even notices we're wearing them. So why do we put ourselves through the trauma of wearing them? Yes they look elegant to our own eyes, they endow upon our persona a grace we formerly couldn't notice, and maybe they make us feel good about ourself. But given the long term ill effects, are they really worth it?

- Why is being in good shape limited to before you get hitched?

No really. It's irritating when you make it seem like everything you do is in preparation to be married. Especially that weight loss thing.

How did you conclude that it was necessary to be thin before you got married, then during the wedding, and suddenly completely redundant once you're over the uncertainty of being single and done being in the public scrutiny of a 100 people, most of whom will criticize the food/ preparations/ clothes at your wedding anyway?

Why does it not matter to you anymore? I understand that many of us cannot control what we look like and how much we weigh, but it's just irritating when we can and choose to stop doing something about it just cause we're "settled"!

- What's with the need for a streak of "gray" in a man?

I've heard this so many times. This thing about how a man must have a little evil in him. Ah yes, that's where the charm lies no? Nice/ sweet/ good is boring. Let's bring on evil in regulated doses please! And when the evil manifests itself and goes from being adorable and quirky to being plain bad, then what? I don't know know myself, I think I even belong to the masochistic breed that proudly proclaims the above. Gah!

-Why do you feel obliged to do the done thing?

It's another thing to do it cause you want to. It's entirely another to do it cause "it's what's done". The wearing more salwars vs. jeans once married? The avoiding of temples and kitchens at "times of the month"? The participation in rites you don't believe in, no questions asked? Planning for yourself that extravagant wedding because so many others want you to, without so much as offering the possibility that it could be another way, a simpler, less expensive way? Why?

Imagine passing on symbolic inanities to the generations in the wings, vs. passing on a solid set of values? Imagine telling our own daughters they have to sit, talk and walk a certain way just because "you're now married". How long can this nonsense go on and get passed on? Can we please absolve ourselves of this cross that'll otherwise be ours to bear?

Please to be honest. Do we even try? To influence change? Trying will be enough for now. Our mothers aren't people we can influence too much, much less change completely. The least we can do is influence our children no?

- Why do we nit pick and nit pick and nit pick over the nicest men?

No really. A good friend has pretty much given up on my kind for how harsh we are (I'm one to talk given my last post!) esp to the nice guys. "You're looking for something you seem to not want to find" he says. Pretty much the same as the thrill of the chase for men no?

Why do we dismiss people so easily? Give them such few chances? After all that complaining about how there's such few good men out there, we eliminate them over the smallest of things - bad grammar, taste in music and blah like that.

Yeah, I know and maintain that when we do bump into someone we really like, it goes past so called documentable "flaws". But in the process, on the way, we're really harsh. And what's worse is we're helping each other feel OK about being that way by being "supportive" of like minded women friends. More gah!

I know i had more to put in here ... will edit and add as things come to mind ... Also, I know I come off as judgmental, and I don't necessarily care if you think I am, but suffice it to say, even I'm not above the things I've listed above.
There - I'll give you honesty, even if not impeccable logic :)


srikant said...

So hope spunky reads your 'masochistic' comment :) She loves the harampanti in her bf!

And seriously, now that you've admitted it, stop nit picking on me!

srikant said...

for all the hoopla you create about being grammatically correct, your blog said '1 comments' (now obv it'll say 2 comments) . I dont care who's responsible for it, but its ur blog and hence you are to blame.

unpredictable said...

Nice job ignoring the post on men Mr Nayak. Nice job. Classic behaviour - bloody man!!! :P

Shoonyata said...

there are men, and there are men.
there are women, and there are women too.

but some of these attributes have been voiced consistently over centuries, across may be not the judgement of one mystic person.

but with all this, men and women dont seem to be able to keep away from each other...

I love being a man...I love women. amen !

unpredictable said...

Shoonyata: LOL! That was awesome dude! May i just echo the sentiment (vice versa of course!) :D A"men" indeed! :)

Quirky Quill said...

I know that was rhetoric but I shall answer for myself :)
a) I wear heels most of the times coz I am short. Since its occasional, it's not likely to affect my back (or so I think). You on the other hand, have no excuse for wearing heels :D
b)I get annoyed by the "looking good for the marriage only" bit, too. But then,as all things in life, personal fitness is also a matter of choice. I think I'm happy that people are willing to consider it, never mind if the reason is untenable or frivolous.
c)Umm, coz we don the gray streaks too?
d)Hehe- this one is n.a. conformity is not something i can be accused of!
e)Goes back to the discussion we were having the other day-really think we are more willing to write people off than invest some benefit of doubt or good ol' acceptance.

Shoonyata said...

A"men" is brilliant!!! only thing, there could be a hidden Fruedian slip: a deep inner conflict between mono&poly-gamy :))

btw, did you check out Bindu?

unpredictable said...

QQ: Yes a lot of rhetoric. Most of it ill thought through. Not one of my best posts - ill admit. :) Thanks for indulging me with answers anyway :)

- I really do have no excuse for heels!
- Oh well yes. I'm more irritated by treating the wedding / married state as an end in itself - whence so many aspirations can be given up easily.
- Yes we do. It's just so unfair to discount someone coz they're "too nice" - know what I mean?
- LOL :) No u can't!
- Yeah, I think it's cause most of us have been broken once and are too careful twice over.

Shoonyata: *blush* I AM rather brilliant that way, yeah. Bindu isn't allowing me access currently, but i read it back then when u sent me the link. :)

Piscean Angel said...

I liked reading ur post & here r some of my answers:
1. Well, most of the time I wear platform or block heels. SO don't think it'll affect my back much. :)On the rare social occasions that I wear those fancy pointed ones r those where I don't hv to walk or stand much. Smart, aren't I? (Rhetoric ques)
2. Oh yeah, some women juts let themselves go completely after marriage. Ridiculous, I say !!!
3. Hey, I always liked the nice types !!! No streaks of grey for me, please !!! I didn't even know that some women like their men with streaks of grey. Am I growing old ? (Another of that rhetoric kind). :)
4. Well, I've never been asked to conform to anything. Thankfully both my Mom & in-laws are quite cool about such things. And, btw, I feel once in a while it's ok to conform to some stuff if it's not too bothersome to you just to make someone happy.
5. All u women who nit-pick ... STOP !!! There's nothing called a "perfect man" out there. :)