I'll get straight to the point. I picked this up from an anonymous blog. Wondered if any of the women I know can feel/ understand what she's going through. Kindly note, I'm NOT saying these are my thoughts reflected. I'm not saying I can feel her pain. I'm ONLY saying this made for interesting reading and I thought many women I know might identify with it. And before you ask, NO! That's NOT MY ANONYMOUS blog! :-)
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" Yesterday, while talking to X (for perspective, a female friend), I told her that I was not going to marry Y (for perspective, a man), and I was looking for eligible people to date. The first thing she asked me was, "Why not Z?" (Z, for perspective, is an incredibly good friend, the kind I understand and the kind who understands me and adores me for who I am) Indeed, why not Z, is a question I've asked myself a couple of times over the past month. Well, it's because I need someone to take charge of me, I replied.
It's not that I want to be fawned over every 5 minutes, and told how much I am loved 20 times a day. It's not even that I want the presence of a man most of the time. It's the fact that I can be talked back to, without the guy being nervous or apologetic about doing that. And if I'm being an ass, (which I am a lot of the time!) I want to be told so and firmly! I need someone who's smarter than me, not just in a sectoral way, but smart in life, someone I can look upto ... someone who believes in himself enough to follow his heart, even though that means fear and pain, but happiness at the end (or perhaps along the way?)
Y's spoilt me now in a lot of ways. I realize that when I think about dating other men. It's not like I'm a feminist, who thinks the woman must be in control of the relationship and where it's heading. And it's not even like I'm a village simpleton, who clings to the man in her life like a baby koala. I think not too many men realize that a lot of women now, are half-way between those two extremes.
It shouldn't be too difficult (right?) for a man not to be intimidated by a woman who earns enough to treat herself well, and stand on her own two feet; a woman who knows her mind enough to pick arguments with total strangers without fear of what people will say; and at the same time, wants to be shown that she is loved. Nobody is asking for a mushy display of flowers and candlelit dinners every night, but a matter-of-fact "you matter to me" once in a blue moon will do.
Well, I guess it IS difficult, probably. That's what makes THE men special then. That they understand the role, and play it. I don't even want them to play it well at this point of time - they'll learn along the way.. but can I find such a man please?"
It's not that I want to be fawned over every 5 minutes, and told how much I am loved 20 times a day. It's not even that I want the presence of a man most of the time. It's the fact that I can be talked back to, without the guy being nervous or apologetic about doing that. And if I'm being an ass, (which I am a lot of the time!) I want to be told so and firmly! I need someone who's smarter than me, not just in a sectoral way, but smart in life, someone I can look upto ... someone who believes in himself enough to follow his heart, even though that means fear and pain, but happiness at the end (or perhaps along the way?)
Y's spoilt me now in a lot of ways. I realize that when I think about dating other men. It's not like I'm a feminist, who thinks the woman must be in control of the relationship and where it's heading. And it's not even like I'm a village simpleton, who clings to the man in her life like a baby koala. I think not too many men realize that a lot of women now, are half-way between those two extremes.
It shouldn't be too difficult (right?) for a man not to be intimidated by a woman who earns enough to treat herself well, and stand on her own two feet; a woman who knows her mind enough to pick arguments with total strangers without fear of what people will say; and at the same time, wants to be shown that she is loved. Nobody is asking for a mushy display of flowers and candlelit dinners every night, but a matter-of-fact "you matter to me" once in a blue moon will do.
Well, I guess it IS difficult, probably. That's what makes THE men special then. That they understand the role, and play it. I don't even want them to play it well at this point of time - they'll learn along the way.. but can I find such a man please?"
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My thoughts (Yeah, these are MINE!): The only thing that comes to mind now is the little known truth about how those women you always thought were CEO material, the ones with the booming voice and extreme confidence in every meeting, the ones with the fantastic academic records and seemingly fast paced careers, the 'tough cookies' on the outside are usually the ones who love with a lot of difficulty but hurt much easier.
3 comments:
i cant relate but very interesting last words.....btw, hi da, hope u have put on some weight! :)
~trying to maintain my "pseudo-identity"
Anon: Ok i still dont know who u are, but aiyo sorry, i dont think ive put on wt :( My wt's stayed at 55 kgs for the last 6 yrs now and in the meantime ive lost lots and lots of body mass, consqeuently looking much thinner than before ... of course i prefer to call it leaner but my mom furiously disagrees! :) If we ever meet, u can be the judge :)
hehe i've already seen ur pics and told you on the phone also that u look dreadfully "lean" :P.
When you coming to mumbai next anyway?
~Sorta liking this weird anonymous identity :)
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