RGV ki Aag ...

kaafi pheeki pad gayi ... and that's an understatement given how BAD this movie has turned out to be. Not just relative to the original 'Sholay', but even just in absolute movie making terms.

Just got home from the movie and wanted to blog about it while the torture from the last 3 hours is still fresh in my mind. So what's wrong with Aag you ask? (Ok maybe u DONT ask, but i tell anyway, yes?)

- Terrible scriptwriting. Now really, this was supposed to be a lift off another existing (and might i mention, BRILLIANT) script. So how could they go SO wrong with this? Its this hodge podge of a story, set somewhere in a place called Kaliganj which seems like the Bombay sealine more than anything else. Bweh! And there's Holi being celebrated in a Tam house (????!!!??? Even as a fraud tam i know Tams aren't big on Holi!!!). Am not quite sure why Rambha Bhai talks like he does, why Babban has sidekicks who range from an old uncle to an IT professional type chap in specs. What the hell was happening in there?

- Terrible screenplay. What kinda dialogues were those? I know of 10 year olds who can speak better and would probably write more original, impactful dialogues. The bad lines don't just take away from the overall script, they even take away from the otherwise brilliant acting of an Amitabh Bachhan or a Mohan Lal. They really do! And for actors who aren't brilliant anyway (Elaboration will be offered in the next para), bad lines just make you want to go for their jugular for inflicting such unbearable torture on your ears and eyes.

- Bad actors. What is with that woman Nisha Kothari anyway? She's SO bad, i can't find an adjective to capture the feeling. A permanent scowl adorns her face except in the 'I'm an auto driver, yet i possess a lifetime membership with Victoria's Secret' song sequence where it's replaced by a forced look of 'being with this Heero guy is sheer bliss'. She barks her dialogues, practically spits them out, and has this shaky angry quality which she doesn't quite manage to pull off. She can't emote for nuts, and doesn't stop at not being a good actor, stoops right down to being a BAD one! Then there's Ajay Devgan who didn't even bother to carry along his standard set of 5 expressions (left 4 behind , ghar pe) and the new kid playing Raj, who lets give him his due here, is cute, but trying real hard to be as stony (read expressionless) as Ajay.

- Bad music. Ok so we've seen a gazillion movies with bad actors and bad scripts. Atleast they had decent music to make up for all of the above. You'd hope that applied to Aag as well, wouldn't you? Dream on! I don't remember a single song except from the trailer, they were all so bad. And seriously, Urmila looks really AWFUL in her patented item number. This isn't coz im a woman and i don't appreciate item numbers or hot women. I totally do! But Urmila in Aag isn't hot, isn't sultry, isn't sexy, IS disgusting, IS unattractive, IS tough on the eyes with her scantily clad boobs that practically pop out at you from the confines of the screen!

There's lots more i could complain about. But its fairly clear that my net reco is DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE UNLESS YOU HAVE TO KNOW HOW BAD IT IS!!!! Amidst everything else, I must admire, however, the resolve of the entire cast to act almost equally badly so that no one can be singled out. (I did it still, didn't I? :D)