Thursday, April 28, 2011

my 5 roles

Have exploded into about a thousand right now.

Work takes so much out of me already. Mom is being diagnosed with illnesses, not incurable or major but worrying nevertheless.
Father to have knee surgery.
P unhappy with job.
Brother confused about moving to the us for studies.
Friends getting married and my inability to make it.
Other friends who I love and am not able to catch often enough even on phone.
Self which craves exercise, experiments in cooking and time to just be.
Kids at work who have gone and enrolled a clueless me as mentor + my eagerness to make time food them (cause man, no one deserves to go through shit and not get some help on how to cope)
Friends who are struggling with babies.
Friends struggling to find jobs.
My own people who deserve a fantastic manager.


I need to stop trying to fix the bloody world. Now.

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Saturday, April 23, 2011

risotto is a tricky dish

Simply because it usually tastes so refined and blah that it tastes of nothing at all. I recall with horror this one time that p and I were at this fancy ass restaurant that had only vegetarian item on their menu - risotto. And such pathetic risotto it was that not even the chefs assurance that it was al dente not uncooked (as I insisted it was) could make me feel better about the crappy excuse for a meal.

Risottos are a source of repeated disappointment to me. With the exception of the amazing pesto based risotto I had with Andrea at the restaurant overlooking tianemen square, risotto has always been like the boyfriend who keeps convincing you he deserves a second chance only to disappoint you further.

Eventually, taking matters into my own hands has seemed like the only viable solution and I've been on the lookout for a brilliant risotto recipe. I made one up today. With a base of pumpkin puree and basil, a topping of crisp stir fried onions, garlic and pumpkin seeds and a dash of balsamic reduction and parmesan I just experienced risotto heaven and risotto experienced a redemption like never before.

I really must do more with this cooking thing. Hmmmmm.
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Friday, April 08, 2011

an interesting week

I spent 2 days getting trained to be good at my job and the 2 days after that recovering from a viral flu at home. I was asked to stay away from people so I wouldn't infect them which meant utter boredom siting alone at home and inability to share a room with p even when he was at home.
Now I know I should have been sleeping from all the medication, but the fact that our indie movie is getting so much attention and publicity meant I was incredibly excited. Too excited, as it turns out, to be able to sleep. But what the hell! This kind of thing (association with a project like this) happens all too rarely and as someone who has worked very hard to ensure maximum publicity for the movie, I bloody well intend to enjoy it while it lasts.

So that was the week in q nutshell. I'm better now and back to work, but the buzz of excitement is still in my head.

Check out our movie - www.mausams.com

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Monday, April 04, 2011

the best weekend so far

This weekend was the best I've seen in this year. Mausams, our indie movie premiered to much appreciation. And india won the cricket world cup after 28 years! The last time was in 1983 when I was a thumb sucking baby who probably didn't realize the magnitude of the event. Now I'm old enough to have my own baby. And boy did I register the win! Sunday was the chillest weekend of this year, giving me the time to bask in some rare bout of optimism that p was experiencing wrt to his life situation.

All in all, a good weekend that I wouldn't mind more siblings of.
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Tuesday, March 29, 2011

isnt it disgusting

When people decide to have long conversations in the office loo? In the cubicle right next to yours, that too.
Never in a million years would I have imagined that folks at work are SO busy the only time they get to talk to their family and friends is during pee breaks.

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Monday, March 28, 2011

my 1st time at mango

Being the most useless shopper in the world, I usually buy things for myself only when Mogambo pays me a visit or if incredible inspiration strikes. After months of ignoring a wardrobe that has not one decent tee, I decided I couldn't wait anymore. In raffles city mall to drop off some mausams brochures, I shopped. And my 1st ever mango tee is coming home with me. That and the running shorts I've needed for a while. Yay!
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Sunday, March 27, 2011

band baaja baraat

Was a pretty nice movie. Just like everyone promised it would be.

I miss watching movies in a theater. Must. Do. More.
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Saturday, March 26, 2011

streaks of color

Should show up in my hair about 2 hours from now. I'm at the salon and originally came here for a simple hair cut. Suddenly the fact that I turn 30 in 3 months and have never experimented with my hair stared me in the face. So I'm getting highlights. Brown ones I.e.

Yes. Highlights are the pinnacle of adventure as far as my staid approach to hair is concerned. No need to judge.
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Thursday, March 24, 2011

sometimes falling ill is the only way for the body to recover

After that bad ass attack yesterday, I decided to skip work and handle important stuff from home. Already I've rested well and gotten all my doc appointments sorted, called the landlord who wants us to leave in 2 months, cleaned out the fridge, done laundry and made good progress on publicity for our upcoming movie. While getting some work work done as well.
My boss was right. Sometimes putting a distance between the self and the workplace is the only way to stay sane.

Speaking of bosses, I've got to pause here and thank the universe for giving me some of the best bosses over the last 6 years. The latest is a cricket and simplicity fanatic whose best advice to me has been - never panic and if you do, never pass it on to your people. Good man, this.
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Wednesday, March 23, 2011

to years of good health

Its been increasingly rare sine I hit 26 to go through a year without the allergies haunting me. Last year ie 2010 was one of those. I figured out I was allergic to dust mites and roaches and did my best to chop off the problem at its root. And it worked.

Although the last few months were just as good, something has gone terribly wrong over the last 3 weeks. My attacks are back with a vengeance and I don't know why.

Heres hoping I can find the cause and kill it before it kills my joy. Bah.
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the kids are alright

Was one of the best movies I've seen in a very long time. Mellow, yet quirky. Undramatic yet interesting.

As an aside, I just downloaded a blogger app on my android phone. Hopefully this means ill blog more often? Like when on the bus to work etc. Lets see.
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Thursday, March 03, 2011

Food.

As I examined how I've changed over the last few years, 2 things stand out in my mind. My obsession with food, flavors and cooking and my obsession with a healthy life.

There's something about creating the right combination of herbs and spices that makes life worth looking forward to. On days that i'm supremely angry with life or stuck in a moment (and can't get out of it), creating recipes inside my head is what comes to my rescue. And with the oven that some friends gave me for my wedding, I've managed to take what was merely an interest to something of a creative expression. I'm loving it.

And then there's the almost paradoxical love of good health /a fit body. I was lucky enough to have high metabolism and the ability to shake off any calories with incredible ease. Until I turned 28 or 29. And then the kilos started to pile on without me knowing of their existence.

But jeans and sari blouses never lie. It's only when some of my old blouses turned into a snug fit that I realized I'd started to put on weight. It's barely anything because I stand at a good 5'9"and my height masks most of it. Plus I was fairly skinny earlier. So it didn't seem to get any attention. From anyone else, that is.

But, from the moment I realized I've started to put on weight, I've been on the healthiest food regimen my body has ever seen in the last 30 or so years. I've incorporated more fiber into my food, cut out the carbs, started exercising well and cutting out desserts - a tough feat with my sweet tooth. And weirdly enough, my body responds when I treat it well.

My need for fitness borders on an obsession that only P seems to share. In some sense, I'm lucky to live with someone who has the most will power I've ever seen in anyone as far as food is concerned.

It's tough to empathize with - this obsession with health, I know. But without my knowing it, food and it's almost polar opposite (control over what I eat) have both come to define the person I am today.

Monday, January 10, 2011

My subconscious is smarter than me. Help!

Have you ever been in this situation where you're trying to solve a problem: You know it's tough. You're really not sure how to crack the code. It's not the same as situations where you know the answer is right there on the tip of your brain (like words on the tip of your tongue, no?). Those are different. This is when you think there's really nothing for you to do or say, and the deadline's looming closer than ever. And magically, suddenly, your subconscious takes charge and swoops in on the solution. Suddenly it's all crystal clear and what could have turned into a panic attack has suddenly become a zen like solution through a seemingly unsolvable problem.

This happens to me way too often. Especially over the last few years that I've been with P&G. (Sometimes I wonder if it's my 1st boss who did this to me. Made me smarter without me realizing it.) It didn't occur to me until I was in my 2nd year, working away close to a deadline and just about to give up when the answer came to me almost as if on a platter.

It shocked me, the magic of it all. Thereon I started to panic a little less each time I encountered a problem and a deadline together. I kept my calm and stayed patiently on the problem. And my subconscious has never deserted me. Through problematic business situations and people situations, somehow, it always comes to my rescue when I've given up at a conscious level.

Does this happen to anyone else?

Thursday, December 09, 2010

A word to capture the next year

Optimism.



Coz nothing ever came of being negative or feeling hopeless. Except that I got older.

(Easy to say, tough to do. But when the going gets tough ... )

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Look ma, new glasses!

Yes, it is an unfortunate event that marks the aging of my body. I now have glasses to correct my far sightedness. And although most people I mentioned this to looked sad and made the right sympathetic noises, I feel quite cool and dare I say saxy in my new glasses. :-)

Andy was here 2 weeks ago and MUCH MUCH fun was had. Taking her around the city was a delight because she loved absolutely everything about it. The multiple cultures, the varied cuisines, clean air, the proximity of locations and lack of traffic, and most of all the Esplanade. We've vowed to make more trips there once she gets here. Let's see how we keep to that promise.

And Shilpa's movie is well on its way to completion. AN and I are co working the publicity bit and trying to keep up news alive until we hit the theaters on 2nd April, 2011. I'm doing a bit role in the movie (which Shilpa might have cut out for editing purposes - who knows!) but if it stays in, I'll let all and sundry know which 2 minutes I am on screen. Ok? Ok!

Good night peeps!

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Contrasts...

It's funny how meeting someone who poses a stark contrast to one's own traits shakes up one's self categorization.

For example, off late I'm starting to see myself as an optimist in stark contrast to P's cynical questioning self.

And although I feel like a blathering chatterbox around his quiet self at home, I feel like one of the quieter people at work where I'm surrounded by a bunch of loquacious women (some more than others. Oh, how I wish I could write more here :-))

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So many of us tie in our self worth to what we do over who we are. I am severely guilty of this as well. Growing up in a family that valued qualifications and achievements over most other things has made me grow up practically married to my work when I love it. And for most of the 5.5 years that I've worked where I do, I have loved what I do. I wonder if my lesson in self worth will mimic the other lessons I've learned - painfully taught and inflicted by life on me when I least expect it.

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Its almost FRIDAY!!! :D

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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Escape

Each time I go back to India and imagine what my life would have been like had I stayed home in Bombay instead of making the decision to leave for hostel life and for a new city thereafter, I feel a huge sense of relief. Not at leaving my parents, but at leaving an environment that would never have let me see the world as I see it today. Only those who have known me over the last 10 years can attest to the fact that the change has been nothing short of miraculous, and unanimously described as a step in the right direction.

At the prospect of a mind that opened like it did when exposed to new cities, new people and multiple cultures, I feel an overwhelming sense of relief. At that, and at having escaped the person I could have turned into. And immense gratitude for everything I've had the privilege of experiencing in the last decade.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Hola Amigas!

In honor of my wonderful Mexican friend who arrives in Singapore next week.

Andy is one of the most inspiring people I've met while working at P&G in the last 5.5 years. She's bubbly and ever enthusiastic and one of those people who no matter how tired or snappy they are, always start the conversation with "So mate, how ARE you?". And she means it every time she asks it. Working with someone like her leaves even a work cynic like me with little option but to reciprocate the enthusiasm and revel in it.

Andy arrives in Singapore this Friday night and apart from the I-need-to-be-a-good-host jitters I usually get before such arrivals, I am also feeling a wonderful surge of excitement. I want to take her to a Tamil movie, a Bollywood party and cook her many wonderfully Indian things at home.

And before any of the diminished readership asks what I've been up to, let me answer it myself with an appropriately sheepish expression. I've been doing absolutely nothing. Yes I've moved assignments, changed bosses, dealt with P moving here and being jobless for close to 6 months, travelled to China, Hong Kong and India and had the dust settle on the very happening and chaotic beginning of married life (not quite yet, actually. Cause you know, the universe wants to keep life interesting and all that) but I haven't done enough with my time outside work, and sadly so.

So we're making a resolution to fix this situation asap. My long overdue Spanish lessons should happen sometime soon. Same for swimming. And some more travel in the beginning of the new year.

Cheers to the arrival of Andy, and hopefully a breath of fresh air into my fairly stagnating life :-)

Monday, June 28, 2010

And what a year it has been!

I turn 29 tomorrow, and although it started rocky, this year might just have been one of the best, most eventful ones yet.

Last year was kicked off by a surprise from the Penguin and assorted others who made P call in through Skype to say hello and sing 'happy birthday' to a very surprised and overwhelmed me.

July and August were nerve wracking to say the least. In the midst of almost daily pm meetings that turned my social life into a big fat ZERO despite the Penguin living across the road (ah! those days!) I'd wonder daily when my company would get back to me on the status of my move to the US to be united with the soon to be husband. After multiple follow ups, and some ingenuous tactics initiated by my mentor, I was finally told I couldn't move after all. This was 10 days before my wedding and instead of looking forward to the event to be, I was miserable thinking about which one of us would have to give up a much loved job and move to another country jobless.

September was the wedding. A fun filled affair followed by a much deserved holiday in Bali, which we spent blissfully ignorant of the uncertainties that lay ahead, simply coz P had an interview call from a company in Singapore. Just as well, I suppose. At least our honeymoon wasn't wrecked by the worry that plagued us for most days before the wedding.

By the end of September we'd had our bubble mercilessly burst. The interview was shit and to make matters worse, the guy who interviewed P basically discouraged him to the point where he wondered if it would ever be possible to find a job in Singapore.

And hence, October and November went by in a crazy haze trying to figure who would finally take the big step of moving. Jobs were hunted left, right and center.

Finally it was clear that me moving to the US outside of my current company would mean endless H1B struggles and a year or more of potential unemployment. P's moving here was no easy feat either. At best he would be underemployed, settling for a pay grade and position far less than what he had in the US. At worst, he would be unemployed. But since Singapore has a more open attitude to work visas and jobs in his sector were more numerous than mine near Philadelphia, finally it was decided he would move here.

December was a month of mixed feelings. On one hand, P was finally coming here for good. After 2 years of long distance, we'd finally get to live under the same roof. On the other hand, the next few months would be fraught with the stress of finding him a job.

The end of December was a brilliant time. We were in Madras for Christmas with P's mom's side of the family and a wedding on his Dad's Punjabi side of the family. Every time a new relative found out he had moved continents to be with his wife, instead of the aghast expressions we expected, we were treated to a very thrilled "wow, you will be SO much closer to home now!". At some level this was awesome considering no one gave me the third degree for putting their boy out of a job (explaining H1B hassles to a distant Chachi = not my idea of a smooth dialogue). At another level this was also a little deluded, coz no one really understood how difficult all this had been for P to cope with. P, as always, maintained his stoic silence and suffered quietly through it all.

We came back to Singapore on the 29th of December welcomed by our friends and began a real life together.

Jan and Feb passed in a blur of happy moments. What I had expected to be teething trouble while living with a new flatmate, was made smooth by the fact that P is the most low maintenance dude ever. This and the fact that Mogambo had trained him in the fine art of housekeeping made him the best flatmate I've ever had!

I always knew he'd be cool to live with (it's why I married him, no?), but I didn't quite anticipate the amount of 'awesome' he brought into the relationship. Life before P suddenly paled in comparison with life after P :-)

March, April and May were probably the toughest months we've been through together. There was no sign of a job on the horizon, and although P is an overall calm person not given to panic (like yours truly), this is when he started to get well and truly scared that this job thing would never ever happen, much less in a decent company. I have to admit, these were scary times for me as well. Although we never quite lashed out at each other, there was an undercurrent of "will this ever happen for us" always at play. Going through pain yourself is one thing (and P went through enough of this) but seeing someone you love so much go through such pain and knowing that it's all for you is something I never figured out how to deal with. Guilt was my best friend in these months. And faith.

My only real prayer was for things to get sorted out by P's birthday on the 21st of May. He doesn't really care about them, but I do, and him having a good birthday just seemed like the one thing that would redeem the crap months we'd been through.

On 15th May, an interview that P had given a few weeks back showed signs of working out. Finally on the 19th of May, he had an official offer from a really good company headquartered in the US and with operations in Singapore. We celebrated his birthday 2 days later, with much fanfare amidst good friends.

From then on, things have only gotten better. Mogambo landed up here sometime later in collusion with P and surprised me. Much shopping and much drinking later, we headed out on a short trip to HongKong and painted every bit of it red. My work life went from better to plain awesome as some really good work for the year was wrapped up. I made a new friend in my co worker, Andy (long distance seems to be my specialty, considering she lives in Beijing and we've only ever interacted over the phone).

But it all gets better in July. Tomorrow, I turn 29 and P and I have officially lived together for 6 months :D We had a brilliant weekend, cause I leave on work for Beijing tomorrow. And after work I stay back over the weekend with Andy and her family to trek up the Great Wall and see the sights of Beijing :)

Mogambo comes back from Madras at the end of July and I go home in August/ September to see my parents after VERY long. :-) Interesting work stuff coming up as well.

A year that started so uncertainly is coming to an end quite brilliantly. To that, and to many more years to come, CHEERS!

Happy 29th birthday to me :-)

Monday, June 14, 2010

A new life begins....

P starts work today. He received an offer about Mid May - right before his birthday in the 3rd week of May. Ever since then, it's been like a constant joyride with all the pleasant surprises and the very new feeling of no worrying about the future. His birthday was followed by S's visit here which in turn was followed by a brilliant trip to Hong Kong. My birthday comes up accompanied by a work trip to Beijing where I stay on an extra weekend and get to experience all the magic of the old city and finally meet my colleague and good friend Andrea.

Life has been good (touchwood!!) for a while now and I hope it stays this way for a while to come. :-) Thanks to everyone who sent their prayers our way :-)