Sunday, March 25, 2007

What kind of day is it today?

This is a personal post. One that im writing simply coz i feel like, not coz its informative or debate inducing. Feel free to skip and wait for the next one. I promise that'll be most entertaining :)


So, what kind of day is it today?

Pretty much the same kind its been for a while now. The sky clears up every once in a bit, lulling me into a false sense of optimism and security. Every once in a while, the sun shines out and spreads light. Just as im starting to feel better about everything, one cloud, then another, then another and then many many more creep in turning the sky gray. Slowly, im forced to shut the doors and windows coz the drizzle turns into a storm. It becomes tough to meet anyone or talk to anyone. Its easier to just sit in and blog. Somehow being behind a screen makes me feel like i cannot be hurt or touched by anything.



Its the kind of day where i'd probably beg someone to give me something to do... coz i can't get around to doing anything myself. Nothing is interesting and nothing seems like it will help - except venting like this. Which is fairly sad considering how many wonderful people there are in my life, but even by Singapore standards its too early on a Sunday to wake up anyone, even Nayak who's drunk and fast asleep completely oblivious to the sun having risen above him. There's also this thing about dealing with demons oneself right? So ive always hoped to be able to do that, confront my demons, find the courage to stand up to them and make them go away. But as courageous as i seem on the outside (scary even, to most who dont know me), my cowardice is sometimes apalling even to me. And yet, I'm simply going to ignore it like i always have and continue the meaningless existence where everything seems to be going from bad to worse. Little by little its all slipping away. I can feel it and yet i cant seem to find the energy to stop it. Phew. I'll be proactive another day, for today can i just be dark?

6 comments:

Nutan said...

sounds very dark sudh.... is everything ok?....

Shahana said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shahana said...

You know that when its too early / too late in sing to wake someone up, its middle of the day for me! and even otherwise im just a call / email / scrap / blog / im / thought away.. love you!

Sharmili said...

comepletely agree with shahana... it is the times like these when you actually make use of time difference and call ppl who are wide awake.... and you know that you can call me anytime you want... fighting 'demons by myself' is good but you could always use some help... there might be ppl figthing theirs which are very much similar to yours...

hope you are doing a lil better today... God forbid - if not, I better get a call asap :)

unpredictable said...

sorry ladies, not poss to wake up ppl at random hours no matter what ... some of this needs to be dealt with ... builds character and all apparently :) some army friend of mine once told me :) moi is better now .. and determined to keep it tht way no matter wot .. thanks for ur love!!!

kavita said...

(((((()))))))