Im pained. Im down and as low as it can get. I wanna shut out everyone and everything for as long as possible. I want to run away from it all. Im tired and im sick. Of not knowing how things will go and of how things have gone so far. I feel uninspired, pessimistic and black. With work, with everything else. Shali's not around so ill go home to an empty house today and blog some more. About how dark it feels.
Im tired of not living up to my own expectations - as an employee (ive slipped on so many committments its not funny), as a friend (still havent called sohit to ask about his eye), as a sister (i havent spoken to sandy in a LONG time now and our only communication is on orkut), as a daughter (moms waiting to talk and all , but i cant muster the time or energy), as an individual (ive failed to exercise as planned, meditate as planned) and so many others i cant bring myself to even talk about on a public forum. Im tired of failing others and being failed by others.
If i close my eyes, i cannot think of a happy place. Not right now anyway. Hopefully things will be better by evening. Until then if u see this, do realize its transitional and will die out by evening in all likelihood. The blues will be replaced by the pinks. Coz god is still in his heaven and all is fine with the world. Until then, if ur someone who cares, dont worry. dont try to talk to me. Just wait it out and be patient. Ill bounce back soon - better and stronger than before. :-)