Thursday, March 22, 2007

Down under

Im pained. Im down and as low as it can get. I wanna shut out everyone and everything for as long as possible. I want to run away from it all. Im tired and im sick. Of not knowing how things will go and of how things have gone so far. I feel uninspired, pessimistic and black. With work, with everything else. Shali's not around so ill go home to an empty house today and blog some more. About how dark it feels.

Im tired of not living up to my own expectations - as an employee (ive slipped on so many committments its not funny), as a friend (still havent called sohit to ask about his eye), as a sister (i havent spoken to sandy in a LONG time now and our only communication is on orkut), as a daughter (moms waiting to talk and all , but i cant muster the time or energy), as an individual (ive failed to exercise as planned, meditate as planned) and so many others i cant bring myself to even talk about on a public forum. Im tired of failing others and being failed by others.

If i close my eyes, i cannot think of a happy place. Not right now anyway. Hopefully things will be better by evening. Until then if u see this, do realize its transitional and will die out by evening in all likelihood. The blues will be replaced by the pinks. Coz god is still in his heaven and all is fine with the world. Until then, if ur someone who cares, dont worry. dont try to talk to me. Just wait it out and be patient. Ill bounce back soon - better and stronger than before. :-)

5 comments:

LUCKY said...

Cheers mate!

Sharmili said...

i am waiting for the bounce back... worried - not exactly coz i know what strength you have.... and abt the failing part... trust me!! ppl who care for u, this thot hasnt even once crossed their minds :))))

waiting for the pinky posts!!!!

@ said...

Hey Cheer up, you, woman of strength :-)You inspire many other women like me seated 1000 miles away in your own sweet blogging way. However, it is nice to know that strong women can also have black times and it is ok to feel blue once in a while :-)

Shahana said...

woke up all jetlagged, sick and sad... atleast one of us has to feel better than this! :-( waiting for you to sound happy again!

unpredictable said...

Lucky: Will call u gn tomm to discuss ur issue :) Sorry was in meeting today

Shams: Gymming makes bouncing a little easier .. just a little tho .. the rest was talking to u :D

@: Im touched honestly, i dont even know u and im hearing this kinda faith fm u .. nothing better to redeem one's self esteem eh! Ill be back soon .. with a real smile .. one that reaches te corner of my eyes :)

Sha!!! Babes u have to get better soon .. u also have a reason to!!! :D Saw the man loafing around downstairs on the phone.. im sure was talking to u ... tc (())