I resolve to....

Remember this?

Just checking on how we're doing so far...

Drama:
CHECK! Play staged and details posted here

Travel:
Cambodia/ Malaysia - CHECK.
Sundry others on work + 1 wedding in Madras - CHECK.
West Coast USA - I leave next week :D Praying that my trip goes well and here's the anti jinx kala tikka to ward off the evil evil eye/s!

Storytelling:
I have to admit this was put on hold because play practice took up weekends. I'm getting back this weekend. Miss the kids.

Cooking:
A late start, but a start nevertheless. I made Gojju last evening, finally! :D (AR called it the best dinner he's had in Singapore so far. Just saying! :D)

More coming up in the next few months .. koftas next, I think :D

Spanish:
I've found an unsuspecting friend who also wishes to learn, but starting next year, so will put this off until then. Instead - I'm going to paint atleast 3 objects to give away as gifts this year. (aside from these).

Aren't you proud of me? I AM! :D

Too much togetherness...

I woke up this morning thinking about couples who practically merge into a single person and others who manage to maintain individual identities and interests with a nice little world that unifies them. And before I could articulate this myself on my own blog, I read this.

I hadn't even gotten to the whole 'being in the same house' and 'how to define living spaces' piece that Gouri talks about. (Though, for years I've told my friends who kid me on my obsessive cleanliness quotient in the bathroom/ kitchen that if/when I'm married, I'd actually like one extra bathroom if we could afford it and a spare room to go chill out and do my/ his own thing when desired, and yes, I've been laughed at.) For me the frustration is more people who vanish from the radar as individuals and suddenly re emerge as a duo.

Don't get me wrong. Like with entry into any new lifestage (a new college/ a relationship/ a new job) it is understandable if the person vanishes from his/her regular life to experience the beginning of a new phase - the honeymoon phase, as we simply term it. But to go off the radar completely (unless you moved to a different continent, we all get the limitations that physical distance poses) just cause you now are with a significant other is something I don't understand.

Like with most other things that I haven't experienced, I'm afraid to seriously comment on/ judge this phenomenon, cause my judgment usually has a sneaky way of coming back to bite me where the sun don't shine.

Yet, given how much I love my own life and the activities that it includes, I can only hope the people who love spending time with the single me do not have to cope with a 2 become 1 phenomenon when a better half does enter the picture.

And selfishly, given how much I love the individuals I spend time with, I can only hope they can continue to preserve some semblance of the person they are without turning into 2 people overnight.

disconnected thoughts.. so many of them ..

- All the women I really like/ get along with are scarily like each other. All have tough exteriors that conceal how wonderfully loving they are on the inside.

- There's things inside your head that sometimes cannot be shared with ANYone. ANYone. Not quite the same as demons, but still little thoughts that constitute a significant chunk of who you are but cannot be shared. No particular reason. Just.

- Charolette's line in SATC "Everything's been so wonderful so far. Something bad is BOUND to happen no?" is one I fully identify with. Whenever I'm feeling unduly blessed, I have this crappy "What horrid thing awaits me around the corner" kinda attitude (which again, I don't share with anyone).

- While on SATC, Carrie's sprint across town to meet Miranda on new year's eve is something that totally touched my heart. I can safely say that this one thing in the movie caught my attention and stayed in my mind beyond all the sexy clothes and ring talk. It reminded me of the weekend I fell miserably ill and just landed up at the Penguin's place and lay in bed as she fed me and gave me my meds despite her own weekend plans. What would life be without people like this?

- Someone just pointed out how my professional/ academic life has always worked out as planned. And I realized after how I spent almost 10 years devoting attention, time and energy to planning and working towards it, and it ALONE, if it *hadn't* worked out that way, it would've been quite a let down and an antithesis to "God helps those who helps themselves". So is it any wonder it turned out how it did? And is it any wonder, hence, that the 1st relationship I ever had was when I was almost 25?

- There's this thing about confiding in people that needs a certain level of quid pro quo. If sharing is a one sided activity with none forthcoming from the other end, as much as I can indulge in non stop blabber, real sharing will dwindle over time. Does that happen to you as well?

- Happiness at work is such a huge function of happiness outside. Ever since this play thing gave me something to work towards and look forward to, my mindset at work has shifted significantly. Suddenly I'm more aware, involved and present than I have ever been after the 1st year. And the converse is true. My bluest times outside work have seen me go through mindless phases of no enthusiasm at work (Oh GOD so many people from work read this!!). Does that happen to you? Am I weird?

- There's something about being able to commit. To a project. To a person. There's something to be said of going through a tough tough badass situation with the said project/person and still wanting to have it/ them in your life with no dwindling of intent. I love that something whenever it comes to me. Love it.

Yes, I love green, but this?

Your Power Color Is Lime Green

At Your Highest: You are adventurous, witty, and a visionary. At Your Lowest: You feel misunderstood, like you don't fit in. In Love: You have a tough exterior, but can be very dedicated. How You're Attractive: Your self-awareness and confidence lights up a room. Your Eternal Question: "What else do I need in my life?"

What's Your Power Color?

Going nuts...

is a word which now reminds me of pine nuts and basil paste in olive oil (yes that's the incredible smelling concoction they call pesto sauce)... indicating exactly how food obsessed I've become. Not so much with the eating as with the cooking. Every evening (Yes, you heard right) I spend 15 minutes browsing through the supermarket picking up exotic veggies (Zucchinis are my latest obsession) to take home and cook exotic dishes with.

I've cooked 3 types of risotto, 1 from scratch pasta with rosemary and parsley and such items in the last 1 or 2 weeks. Tonight I'm planning on making this Zucchini + Tomato + Potato something in sweet sour gravy to be eaten with rice (hopefully plain, coz after a 2 km run and shower and all that chopping, cooking anymore will be a bit too much I think).

So yes, I'm letting you all know I've gone completely nuts. And not in a good way. My mother might be proud if I tell her though. Who knows.

Also, I really want to write, but work's being a bit of a bummer right now (in a nice way, if you can imagine such a thing. I'm rediscovering my fire at work, so to speak) and between sitting at my desk, reminding myself to sit straight and "lock my neck" (physio's instructions) and spending more than fair share time surrounded by food (at home, outside, everywhere thanks to aforementioned obsession), I'm not really rich on time to write the things that currently threaten to spill out of my little brain.

Also N's left on his annual vacation to exotic European destinations (k fine! they're not that exotic. But Europe is Europe no?) and I'm sitting here fantasizing about my upcoming 2 week break on the West Coast of the You. Es. Yay. Sigh. But I get to laugh at him once he's back coz his vacation will be over and mine won't even have begun! HAH!

K. Bai. Another deadline looms over my head. Bah. The zucchini *must* wait (and its image must really stop making those little circles around my head trying to entice).

Your cup overfloweth...

at my expense ...

I'm all for everyone getting their share of time/ attention and blah.

Really, I am.

But when we've been preparing for 2 weeks for a 3 hour training as a group of THREE trainers, and I'm slotted to be the 3rd and LAST, kindly draft your own portion keeping in mind that I put in time and energy (just like you did, I'm sure) to get this done by TODAY, with the same level of CONTENT RICHNESS (as you did) amidst my OTHER DEADLINES (yes, you have them too, so you know what I mean) and hence understand that when you exceed your quota for whatever reasons, and I miss my turn to speak, it's extremely frustrating, to say the least.

We've all overshot our share of time in the past, but experience teaches us to cut down some slides and manage it all so we don't eat into somebody else's time no? I wish that as a generation we could understand the fine line between saying everything we'd like to say and everything that absolutely needs to be said.

Know what I mean?

Thankfully I still went and caught the Sex and the City movie last evening after work instead of sitting home to refine my portion of the presentation. Must thank the Penguin for making me go.

I loved the movie as I love the series.

My favorite part was where Carrie reaches Miranda's place 2 seconds before midnight on New Year's eve and pants "You're not alone!" ... The movie may have finally given the men their due, but for me it was still about the women. Hence the loving.

FYI, I know it's becoming fashionable for men to pooh pooh this movie just as most of us like pooh poohing Ekta Kapoor's productions. Which brings me to the disease of presumption which exists even among the most evolved of us. This time it's men, but that's not to say women aren't guilty of it as well. A worthwhile trend to fight, don't you think?

It's done ...

For months I've incessantly yapped about this play i'm asst directing and acting in.

Tonight, we screened our 3rd and last show. It's late in the night, so this post won't be long.

Just wanted to say that it went incredibly well. :-)

Especially the last show we staged this evening. After 2 shows of being applauded by the audience, but still thinking of scope to improve, today, in our last show, we finally got it to look the way we'd envisioned it and probably better :)

It was amazing!

My co actor and I would crib after every run about how this and that was 'off' in our story and finally, this time, we had our best most perfect run so far.

I feel so incredibly proud and happy and I'm warning you that for the next few days, if you run into me, this is likely ALL you'll hear me talk about. Sorry in advance!

To friends and colleagues who turned up - THANKS! It means so much when people you know and like are there to see something you've put together with tremendous effort. It was lovely having you there, and your words were music to our ears. We only hope you were being honest about how much you liked it :-)

Sigh. The thing now is, I'll miss weekends as they were, and I'll miss this supremely talented bunch of people I worked with for the last 7 months. It'll really be a pity if we don't do this again soon. But S, the director for this one is caught up with other commitments until December, and there's few people willing to start a production, so if something has to be done, it'll have to be started by yours truly. Time to wake up my snoring sense of dramatic initiative, perhaps?

Speaking of people who mean a lot, 3 people I'd loved to have had here with me most would be Mom and friends A and M. The video recording is a shoddy replacement for what you could actually have seen, but this is a world with distance and expensive airlines and limited leave - I get ALL that.

I still wish you were here to share this with me, though. Bah.

*Whine* *Pout* *Sulk*

Anyway, tomorrow's dinner with the team. About time we did something together outside of rehearsals! So very very excites is came! :D

Sleeping happy and proud tonight after an incoherent rambly gushy post. Phew. Good night!