25 days away from one's own blog is more like temp retirement.
But really, I haven't been doing this on purpose. Between the work and the yoga and the busy fun evenings spent bonding with the soon to leave flatmate, there's very little time left to blog.
And anyway, it feels like I censor so much of what's going on in my life that there's very little I can say without violating my self imposed boundaries of privacy. More so lately.
The Penguin often pulls my leg about how I am secretive to the point of being occasionally dishonest on my blog. I try to trip her on semantics, but I have to acknowledge that she is right.
So what is it that makes me hide from the outside world so much of my life? I'm hardly one to be quiet about anything, much less, coy about the details of my personal life. It's certainly not some feminine sense of shame that keeps me from sharing and baring it all. It IS however, a morbid fear that my happiness will be taken away if I reveal too much of it to the world.
You see, for all my good sense, I am endowed with a penchant for superstition, esp. the kind that will take away happiness from you if it realizes you are in possession of over abundant quantities. I am indeed one of those people who in the midst of utter contentment and joy thinks to herself, "What calamity lies round the corner, say?". The eternal optimist and the glass half full are terms obviously alien to my ever-gray vocabulary.
Put simply, for the last year or so, I've followed a strict policy of limited disclosure in this space because I've been scared shitless of losing my happiness if I shared it with the world.
But when I thought about it this morning, I realized, nothing bad has ever come of writing here. The cooking only got better and more experimental. The running is now supplemented by yoga. Travel has grown exponentially. The work after a lot of crap phases is looking up. My health is better, or at least has been attended to by 5 different specialists and is on its way up. The mind has only become clearer, and the spirit stronger.
Ever since the 1st proper post I put up in Nov 06, life may have seen its ups and downs, but the ups have undoubtedly beaten the downs. UNDOUBTEDLY. :-) Even I don't have to be an optimist to see that.
To be continued ....
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11 comments:
Should I put up smug penguin photo yet, or should I wait? :-)
Gawd. I can say no, but will it help
:)
With me, I could never settle on as what to write.
Longer the break the more undecided I am!
I guess you are a Cancerian.. if yes, this seems to be a typical cancerian trait.. not revealing too much of ourselves to the world.. Linda Goodman terms it as retreating inside their shells and shutting themselves off...
mespace: True, more so if most of what has transpired is even more personal!
Amit: I'm Cancerian, but not quite as secretive about anything as maybe these 1 or 2 things ... selective cancerianism? :)
Che! Nobody else seems to be curious about the "To be continued". Am I the only curious cat around?
Which is kinda sad considering you know everything there is to know, woman!
tell me something wildly surprising no? tell. continue. Mogambika.
M: There's nothing you will find surprising. And the irony is that you and that other all knowing girl are the only ones asking to continue :)
because we are curious kaminis like that. tell more.
Whoa. Mogambo lets loose some Hindi. Unpred, please oblige by spilling the beans.
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