Whiny Ms. Tic..

Currently has the least right to whine about anything at all.

But is crabby and tired. Is overeating over and above her usual quota and hasn't run in 10 days. N says metabolism won't be as forgiving in a matter of a few months and he's right. Fat is starting to say hello. Quite rudely at that.

Is missing having the Penguin in town and dreading having her leave for good for another city. Is at a loss as to how to make up for the loss. Cannot say this to the Penguin's face since has strong streak of stupid pride that holds back from expressing affection with those who matter most. Is quite stupid like that. (The penguin reads this. Yes she does.) Is hoping the penguin will just never bring this up in person and pretend it was never written.

Misses Mb muchly, but is happy about the general direction that things are taking. Hasn't replied to one very imp mail yet but is hoping actions speak louder than words.

Is exhausted. Too exhausted to cook. Or even go over to N's place to talk. Just slumps into bed and watches mindless TV and sleeps early and wakes up late. Is just so tired from all that travel last week. Good week. But tiring week. And this one, despite no travel, isn't being kind either.

Is very close to losing the sparkle in her eye and the happiness in her smile. For this week anyway. Later will surely be better. Always is.

10 things to say to 10 people...

Ref this tag from way back ... I'm pained and frustrated today and want to say things to people, but cannot to their face. So here is where I'll vent. Not fully but. Somewhat only.

1. I want clarity not confusion. I want trust. I really wish you'd just let me be sometimes. ARGH!!!

2. I know you think what you're doing is noble. I don't think you see, however, how all of this affects someone who matters to you. You won't. He's stoic beyond your wildest dreams.

3. I lacked intent with you. I'm sorry about that. I started to get angry, and I'd have been more disappointed about how things went if it hadn't been for this realization that came to me suddenly last week. Hope things are better soon.

4. It's the one rule of playing your role that you can NEVER violate. And you've done just that. I just hope the next one year passes without event. Else I won't ever forgive you.

5. Not one of our vacations gave us the chance that one evening gave us. In so many ways I was happy I moved out of your daily life when I did. I'm worried sick about you sometimes, but you have her now, and for that I'm glad.

6. Things will work out. They have to. Bad things cannot happen to good people. Def not to wonderful, incredible, magical people like you. *Hugs*

7. I promise to make this as easy as possible to deal with. I do. But you made me question how tall I am. How can I ever forgive that?

8. I don't get how your response to the question could've been as non committal as it was. Such a let down coming from you guys of all people. How to place trust in people now?

9. It is me or is it you? How will I ever know?

10. Ah finally you get what you deserve. Congratulations indeed. :)

Silver linings...

Funny that the last post that dwelt on silver linings was written the last time I came to Madras.

This, in my own words is the city of my heart, the city I love and feel an incredible warmth for every time that flight lands on the runway. Irrational and illogical as my love may be, this is the only city in India that I've never lived in that I know localities and roads within. I spend inordinate time looking through the google maps version of the city's layout in an attempt to be as familiar with it as long time Madras dwellers are. I may not succeed as I'd like to, but I sure love the stunned look on my originally-Tamil-but-born-and-brought-up-in-Bombay mother's face when I rattle off routes and directions in Madras. Love it. :-)

And as all raving about good things brings, I brought upon myself the worst kind of jinx. (very becoming would be a post on the strange connection jinxes share with me). I had close to the worst weekend EVER in Madras this time. And the worst thing for someone like me who likes ranting about it and getting it out of my system was, there really was no one to blame. How do you place blame when a series of misunderstandings results in you spending 2.5 hours on a footpath by a crowded arterial road in the city, sitting and waiting to figure out your next course of action?

You don't. You seethe and fume and kick yourself mentally for having rejoiced like you did at the thought of landing in Madras. At sharing that information (pointlessly at that) with some 10 other people at the cost of being laughed at, might I add?

Nothing, absolutely nothing this weekend went as I'd hoped.

But this isn't a post about cribs. (Didn't I magically lead you into believing it was, with 2 paragraphs of ranting? I know. I'm talented like that)

It's a post about silver linings. Through the worst, most disastrous events in my rather uneventful life so far, I've been taught that there's a bloody good reason for everything that happens. No really, someday when I tell you the story of how I've discovered the most happiness and the most incredible friends through what seemed like the worst unending seasons of misery and general bweh, you'll understand what I mean. About silver linings, that is.

Like this weekend, just before I left for Madras, I got in touch with this commenter friend person and realized she lives here and made plans to meet up and spend time with her. All this, 2 hours before my flight took off! And it turned out to be such a godsend!!!

Over and above the sundry factual details like being able to borrow her charger (coz I left mine back home, yes. sheer brilliance, that is me) and being able to go over to her place for human company when all my usual friends were helplessly sucked into last minute plans that didn't involve yours truly, it was being able to spend time with this delightfully positive person who floored me with how easily she's blended into a new life with her husband and his family, and is so keen on "managing my own home" that she wakes up every morning to diligently cook lunch for them both, declining her MIL's offer to help. (Gah. Don't go all feminist on me. Her husband cleans the house every weekend - I'm just trying to point out how happily self sufficient they are despite the chance to hire household help, or even take help from her in laws who live just downstairs.)

I know unmarried friends who refuse to care for themselves, relying on house help to pull through their lives, relying on outside food for sustenance when the maid doesn't come in a single day. Their bathrooms stink and turn brown, kitchens with days of uncleaned leftovers host mega roaches and I'm about to throw up, so I'll stop right here.

Amidst all this, it's just so refreshing to see people our age who don't find it beneath themselves to tend to their own house and health. A, I'm so proud of you. Your family is lucky to have you, no matter what they might have led you to believe (your maternal family, hon) in the past. Stay as you are and bring out the paints and music to boot :)

Some other thingamajings went not quite as per plan this weekend, but in the interest of keeping private matters private, all I can say is, the things that affect us most do so cause they matter so much. And just realizing how much they matter is the silver lining to the seemingly imperfect consequences they may entail.

That, my dear reader, is the profound lesson for the week. Go have a good one. Go.

Sometimes....

It's not about you at all.

And as unused as you are to it being this way, you care enough to let it be. Not about you, that is.

Growing up, I believe, it's called. :-)

Oh yayyy!!

I just got my 1st ever personal credit card. After yearssss of persuasion from friends, after not being eligible with my 1st year salary and all that, I finally have it!! A CREDIT CARD!!! Oh yeah!!

Oh oh! I can collect miles on this! N is the best credit card advice giver EVER!!! :D


*Mogambo - pls note. Adequate pride is came I hope*

It's almost here ...

The rain.

The weather outside is simply brilliant. Cloudy skies, almost completely dark at 5.30 pm, calm cool breeze flowing through my room and the anticipation of the smell of rain on earth.


Why can't it be like this everyday?

It's started now. The sound of raindrops going pitter patter brings a smile to my face, always has, even through the worst times.

At home in Bombay (I refuse to call it Mumbai, sorry) I'd sit by the huge windows all the time during what they called preparatory leave - the 25 or so days before engineering exams that you're granted to cram everything you refused to even look at through the rest of the term coz you were always too busy doing ... err... things and stuff.

I'd have morning tea, read through the newspaper (yes, I did that once upon a time) study through planned time tables, sip tea again in the evening listening to the latest music on the now antiquated music system - the latest in bollywood sometimes Rafi, Lata and Mukesh ... all of this while sitting on the granite ledge near the window.

And when it was about to rain, clouds would gather all over the horizon, outlined by the hills that separated Thane from where we lived and amidst the darkening gray, the outline of the hills would suddenly vanish.

Which is when we knew it was about to pour.

We'd rush to the windows in the bedrooms and take in almost dry clothes from the line before the rain got to them and feel victorious as the 1st drops of rain hit the window and got steel rods instead of clothes. :-) (Bro and I stopped short of a hi-five most times, it would've shattered the cool facade we had going around each other)

The rains have ever since, never ceased to delight.

Do you have this thing that nature brings to you whenever you're asking for something to smile about? The rains have always been mine. Through it all.

When I failed to get through my 1st ever job interview while 33/74 classmates did. (Don't judge me. That kinda stuff was BIG for me back then).
When I was sent away to the then dratty madras for an internship with no one to keep me company. It was bang in the middle of friggin summer, the Madrasi's ultimate nemesis, and it rained for the 1st time in YEARS. (I still claim it was cause I asked for it to. Fine. Snigger if you want.)
Whenever I so much as wished for it back in Bangalore. And many many more times here in Singapore. From nursing an awful day at work (admittedly not many of those) to nursing a broken heart. Amidst colleagues going "God. Not AGAIN!" when they looked out the window and saw it darkening to when people shielded their heads and ran for shelter as if it was acid itself dropping from the sky. (It's water. You drink it. How bad can it be??).

The rains made my day, no matter what.

Now change that to the simple present tense while I enjoy the view outside my window :-)

Have a lovely day...

Edited to add: Nothing like hot Kadhi Chawal to make a brilliant day brilliantER no? :D

Moving on with making a difference to the world...

Before I get into the details of tips on saving water/ electricity etc, I want to take a moment and point out how utterly jinxed my existence is sometimes. Only the last post started with "No one's sick around here" and here I am on sick leave from work with red eyes, a bad headache and some chills. Am I not being thankful enough for good things that come to me or should I just stop talking about them in public? I'm not sure.

So moving right on. Things one can do in their daily lives to save water and electricity so this generation doesn't have to worry about whether or not to have children, given resources in the world are being depleted at an alarming rate. (Tell me i'm not the only one who keeps debating this in my head?)

- For those of you who use the aircon as you sleep: Here's some terrific tips on using an air conditioner wisely. You don't have to be a saint and give up sleeping in cooled environs, you can be smart, though. The one I particularly identify with is about keeping the room well sealed when the aircon's working. Ensuring all doors and windows in the cooled room are closed most times, esp through the heavy duty night hours, can bring down your monthly electricity bill by at least 10%.
In a time when cost of essentials like food are going up, this is a chance at savings that you simply cannot ignore!

- While cooking whether on conventional gas or in a microwave: Here's some tips on how to get most fuel efficiency while cooking. I particularly like the tip on keeping the burner of your gas clean so most heat is absorbed by the cooking vessel vs. the accumulated residue on your burner and the defrosting of frozen food before putting it on the gas. Very relevant to Indian households and cooking methods (which is most visitors on this blog).

- For those who drive: Here's tips on fuel efficient driving. I have a friend who carefully notes down the mileage he gets on every run and once informed me (with the wise, all knowing look, of course) that the only reason he doesn't drive at impressive speeds is cause it compromises mileage and hence fuel efficiency. Made me check out more details on google. And it's all true. It may not be as exciting to drive anymore, but it'll ensure the earth lasts somewhat longer if we can all do this. :-)

- Saving water: Btw, do you know there's a water crisis imminent upon us all? And there's so so many things we can do, little shifts in our daily habits, that can save up to 25% of the water we use on a daily basis. Go on, read about them here. And apply them.

- There's other random tips you can google more on such as ensuring you wash fewer bigger loads in the washing machine vs. multiple small loads, drying clothes physically vs. using a dryer (when you have the option, not all american households do, I get that), ensuring water heaters are left on for minimal time before you go for your shower and switched off right after, ensuring fridge doors are well sealed and aren't left open for too long.

That's mostly what I have for the day. Oh! I *must* allude to the earlier post on saving food in keeping with the spirit of this post :-)

Just to point out, none of the above cost you money, and are all easy to do. I know there's not too many original thoughts up there, and you could've googled those yourself. But how many of you have actually googled these before, huh? HUH?

Yeah, that's what.

Good night!