Dichotomy ...

Of feeling, is when you're completely immobilized by the ferocity of what you feel and are at a complete loss yet as to whether it is incredible happiness or abject sadness that is at work.

Of deed, is when everything you want to do revolves around how to deliver delight and yet all you're able to attain as outcome is disappointment.

Of intent, is when you're afraid to lose someone, and yet unconsciously, with every word, with every action, you're sending out the message that you want them to leave.

Of faith, is when despite believing that you deserve the good things coming your way, you continue to wonder what nasty surprise lurks around the corner.

Of state of mind, is when despite the puffy eyes and the sordid thoughts running through your mind, you know where to look to find warmth and gladness.

Of reaction, is amidst the many many things that you're sorry you've royally screwed up, you're proud of the things you've now promised yourself never to screw up.