Friday, July 06, 2007

Sshhhhhhhh .... let me be ..

I've desperately wanted to see the face of this page, this place i usually scribble thoughts into with little regard for who's reading (or secretly judging me from the relative security of their screens). I've craved this interaction with my blog for over 2 weeks now, more than i've craved the company of people, the noises of camarderie with colleagues, the buzzing of my phone with calls and smses ... which is funny considering how in touch i always needed to be with others to simply sustain myself. There was a point i figured id never be able to just be on my own coz the space would scream out and throttle my very existence. Funny that i crave tht very space right now.

And do i know why? Nah .. not really ... although i do suddenly understand what it feels like to suddenly go into anti social mode ... ive never understood it before ... tht completely normal people with perfectly sane normal lives suddenly cut out everyone (even the people they supposedly love most) from their lives and withdraw into a little shell ... maybe its because when the system is plagued by activity overload (read lots of change) this is how it makes time for itself. I can safely say i finally get it ... light has dawned in some sense :)

Then again, maybe its a consequence of time spent in close proximity with guests, as horrid as that sounds. I've been host to 2 people i love the most in the last 2 months, my closest friend and my bro. And wonderful as it was having them around, (i even imagined shedding tears when my little brother left despite having been apart from him for what .. 4 years now?), even the Monica in me admits that being a host is real tiring.

Probably explains why i had such a blast in Chennai last weekend. Being a guest is far easier no? N and V were the ones who had to scramble around making sure i was enjoying .. not to mention G who practically died loooking for the right color and right make of flowers as he had me wait on a busy bylane on a Chennai morning for all of 30 minutes ... ah the guilt of it all .. if any of u is reading .. N or V, G or the wonderful A who ensured he knew what flowers to get me :-) Thanks you guys! A and G probably busy getting engaged right now, and V's on a flight to Europe... but if you guys read this, i owe you one of the best birthdays ive had in yearsss now! :D Love ya all ... (as an aside, Absolut Pear is a MUST TRY!!! :D, Nuts - back me up here!!)

Anyway, im officially done with the moving now ... lugged around boxes and boxes... amidst 9 to 5 all week training, amidst splitting headaches, family emergencies (ah the creative liberty to exaggerate!) and a runny nose .. still don't have a phone connection at home ... stayed the last few days with Palli in her service apartment and had soo soo much fun with her and Mr. Pangal ... Owe the woman big time for the wonderful time i had last week and much more so for putting a basic roof over my head :) Lalsss.... u rock ma! :D

Will start out on officially 'working' on Ariel starting tomorrow. So looking forward to the immense info and 'to do' overload tht im sure i'll be subject to. But totally looking forward to climbing that steep thing they call the learning curve all over again despite the exhaustion and complete lack of time for most other things that it'll bring along.

Home is nice and quiet until the flatmate gets home from her SA tour, the lack of human contact somehow feels ... pleasant, almost a welcome relief ... will probably savor this very unlikely feeling until im ready to go out and meet people, make contact with civilization and usual weekly calls to friends and family back home and here in SG .. until then ... let me be ... :)

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

am assuming your internet connection finally works :-) Congrats! And you're welcome.
- LLTK

Nutan said...

absolut pear rules..:)... and yeah, being a host is tiring...;)

SS said...

Ah .. so that's why you've been so quiet :) Good to have you blogging again.