Friday, November 17, 2006

There was a time

There was a time ... when my English teacher .. Mrs Fatima .. told me i could write really well ... why did she never venture to suggest that i make a career out of it ..if she had .. if anyone had .. id have been living a scary but adventurous life doing something i loved once upon time but stopped .. coz i started working ..

There was a time ... when i sat at the end of the day and spoke to amma .. we just sat across the table and she indulged me as i proudly told her what id done through the day .. the little instances of answering the questions no one knew ... being prepared for exams .. the new friends id made ..and in turn she regaled me with her stories of train friends .. my childhood .. and how i was an easier kid to manage than that brat of a Sandeep .. :-) ... why did she never tell me id grow up to be distant and trying to cut her out from my life unless when i was really alone and unhappy ... i would have made an effort to stop becoming who i am now ... a successful professional but a poor daughter ... for better or for worse ...

There was a time .. when i read 3 books in a day if i could ... i spent lunch breaks in school swapping my own issued books .. the ones id already devoured in an hour .. with the girls who never cared for their own ... entire summer breaks were spent reading novel after novel and falling in love with the nuances of the language .. so much so that i find myself impressed and swayed by people with an interest alike ... esp people who write wonderfully ... and touch your heart with words ... i wish someone couldve told me nothing is worth the sacrifice of a hobby ... i wouldve stubbornly stood by reading as ive stood by and maintained so many traits so many people always wanted me to change .. if for nothing .. then simply to be able to meaningfully claim atleast one hobby ...

There was a time ... when i cried at movies ... it was such a delicious feeling ... sympathizing while Forrest continues to unconditionally love the woman he can never have ... or when Harry practically reads out to Sally an itemized list of the reasons he loves her .. happily enuff .. i still do that one! :D No regrets there! :)

Its funny how the very changes that make us more acceptable to others sometimes end up eroding the very essence of who we are ... and how when a few people insist on being themselves .. judgement is right around the corner .. personally i lack the courage to be who id love to be me .. so power to all those who can pull it off ... maybe someday i can be like them and not care ... :D .. the world would be better off with fewer 'there was a time's :)

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