Holiday fever ...

Andy and I have been slogging for over 2 months now on this project that is finally due completion tonight and due presentation next week. At this point, having come SO close to the goalpost, our only thoughts are how we're going to be FREE next week! Yes there will be work still, but nothing of this magnitude and nothing that eats up our every waking hour!

This is so akin to when I was a kid writing final exams in school. This was usually followed by the lonnng summer holidays, so towards the last few exams, I'd be excited as hell!

My funniest, most out of character (because I cannot imagine ever doing anything to jeopardize my marks, no matter how excited I was) story of final exams and summer anticipation is that in one of my final exams, for the LAST subject paper, I was SO excited to be starting summer holidays in about 2 hours, that I forgot to flip the question paper to its back side, hence omitting about 20 marks worth of answers and sauntering out of the hall feeling supremely happy.

Supremely idiotic is what I felt when mom asked why I was home so early and I realized I'd forgotten to answer so many questions.

Ah sweet innocent childhood! :)

Roadblocks

For someone who has always been a less than secure individual (all the bravado on the outside notwithstanding), I've always been terrified of failure. As an example, when in class 11, I once thought I'd give the esteemed IIT JEE exam a shot. I brought home a bunch of books to start prepping if possible, but more than anything to get a feel of the JEE "vibe".

If you're from India, you already know the enigma that the IITs are. They're famed for being incredibly tough to enter and tougher still to survive. Even as I picked up my first book and flipped the first page, my terror of not making it took over. In less than 5 minutes with the book, I'd decided I wasn't smart enough to make it and shut it. I returned all of the material the very next day and decided to focus on the infamous, but not as tough, 12th standard board exams instead.

Ever since and until I started working with my present company in 2005, I've been very influenced by what others said was tough to crack, sometimes giving up on it even before i could start.

But my 1st boss changed all that. He's the guy who for better or for worse, believed that in the not so critical realm of life that we operated in (skin creams, laundry products and such - not human hearts or national defense) nothing could NOT be solved.

His firm belief at first scared the hell out of me but since I reported to him and I desperately wanted to not fail him (he was (is) one hell of an inspiring manager) I did everything I could to learn from him and soaked up everything he taught me.

By the end of my 1st year working with him, I realized something magical had happened. I was still afraid of failure, but it no longer took over me or proved an impediment to finding solutions. To this very day I continue to believe no problem is without an answer. No matter how daunting it looks, no matter how tight a deadline seems, I know I will make it past it. It may not come easy and I may whine more than fair share in the interim, but eventually I'll get it

Funnily enough, this perseverance (you may choose to call it naivete) also flows into my personal life. I don't give up on something until I have absolutely emptied my brain thinking of solutions, and eventually finding one.

Alas, this never say die attitude can only apply to things that are in my control. And ambitious as I may be, even I know the limits to my control.

Which is when I enroll for a crash course in optimism.

Or not.

Living with someone you love...

someone who loves you, actually, is something that softens all the rough edges in your life. Work piles on, sometimes exceeding your capacity for work, sometimes seeping into your weekends, but never actually pushing you to that point of utter irritation where you start hating it.

It's all so different coming home to P than to an empty house. It's all so different when someone wants to hear your stories, mundane as they may be. It's all so .... new and refreshing from the life I had before.

God, if I haven't said thanks enough, here - I'm saying them right now. Thanks!