flew past in a flurry of crazy unproductive activity that yielded, unfortunately no returns. Workwise, anyway.
Thankfully, today I caught up with someone whose sanity always restores my faith in my company. The kind of person, who if he left his job, would leave a little less for me to aspire to in the years to come.
After my conversation today, I feel a little more convinced that the shit is temporary. That deep down somewhere, I do have passion for what I do. Even if it's not THE thing that will make my life meaningful and content, it IS the 2nd best thing. Maybe 3rd best.
Not worth giving up on, for now anyway.
That's a comforting thought, especially since I've been feeling utterly lost more often than not at work lately.
1 big personal milestone was achieved that provides some sort of security blanket in case I lose my job (bladdy jinxer I am) or something equally drastic. So yay! And biggu thanks to the powers that be who made it happen. yayyayyay!!!
My dreams are getting weirder and weirder. Last week I woke up in a state of panic after a dream where my parents tried to force me to take on P's surname. My parents, who don't particularly care what name I keep or leave, and know that force is the least likely way to convince me. Who later, when I told them about the dream, laughed like it was the funniest thing they'd heard all week. My mother went so far as to say "Maybe you really WANT to take on his name, and your subconscious is acting out".
Nice try, ma. Nice try.
My other dream had junta lounging around in my living room on the morning of my wedding. No one seemed in any particular hurry to make it to the Muhurtam. On trying to be the voice of sanity in the room, I was asked to "take a chill pill. the muhurtam isn't running away anywhere".
When we finally did make it to the venue, make up aunty could not be found. As I ran up and down a weirdly large hall looking for her, I bumped into P who had turned up looking like one proper tambi - in shorts and a white button down shirt. Grumpy as hell to boot. Not like I cared. My make up wasn't done yet, so I ran off to look for aunty.
I woke up in a state of panic both times wondering why I'm seeing all this least-likely-to-happen-nonsense in my dreams.
The next few weeks are bound to be rather interesting and I'd be lying if I said I'm not curious to knwo what my dreams have in store for me.
Ooohhh also a new hire from work came over on Sunday to see the house. She's the latest candidate for non psycho women to take my room when I move out. She seemed sweet and sane and not at all scary. Only thing is she apparently has other options, and will let me know this week if she picks me or not.
I've never been good at doing parallel processing with my options. So while DM asks me to check around with my other options X, Y and Z, I cannot help but hesistate thinking that this constitutes cheating on new hire non psycho girl. Such misplaced sense of morality will get me absolutely nowhere, alas.
But it is how it is. So let's wait and see if she turns out to be the ONE.
In other news, V's brother, the mystic wanderer was here from Vietnam over the weekend. Many chillings were done and many funs were had. I think he was delighted just to be able to speak in English and be understood without miming or wild gesturing.
His presence helped keep me distracted from a good deal of unknowns that would otherwise have made me pull out my lovely long hair out over the weekend.
Dear wanderer, I noticed that note you left on my table. Touched as I am, I should be the one to thank you, and not the other way round. The number of expletives I yelled on the phone on my way back from work on Friday might have multiplied over the weekend, had it not been for your distracting guestly presence. :)
*end of mush*
Ok now dear reader/s. I need you to send me your bestest most positive vibes for *certain* things to work out over the next 1 month. Being Zen like and calm is all a good thing to aspire to, but it's not my natural state of being and the hard work of staying this way might make me lose all my lovely hair and go completely bald. And we don't want that, no?
K I have an 8 am meeting tomorrow, so tata and bai for now. Sleep well, be good and err.... don't do drugs. Or caffeine. Etc.