Monday, May 11, 2009

The good, the bad and the ugly...

The good: I cannot feel that numb pain in my arms anymore.

The bad: It probably IS the pain from my just initiated yoga sessions that is overwhelming any other pain, and hence creating the illusion of previous pains having vanished.

Not to mention the mental agony of feeling like an utter loser with Chinese aunty next to me breezily bending over and touching her toes WHILE smiling at the world. Why do I not have nice stretchy flexi limbs like that elastigirl, say?

The ugly: My attempt to vent pent up anger through yoga came to a disastrous end today when I emerged angrier than ever at the instructor who in his misplaced enthusiasm to run us through as MANY asanas as possible conducted them SO quickly that we spent at least 8 of 20 counts per asana transitioning from the previous one into the current one.

I swear I would've walked out mid class (it isn't exceptional, given how many bad movies I've walked out of) except the rules said something about respecting the master and not walking out midway yada yada blah. I had to be content with muttering below my breath, which as you know is just not fulfilling enough. Alas.

Notes to the instructor from today:
1. If you start off on that "Inhale Exhale" chant, then either keep it going so our lungs follow some semblance of rythm, OR when you pause to chatter midway TRY to start off where you left off. It's excruciating for us, your students, to have FINALLY steadied our breathing and then to hear you say "EXHALE" when we're getting ready to INHALE!!! And, calming, it is most certainly not!

2. Not everyone knows what *kapalbhati* (a form of rapid breathing that exerts the abdominal muscles and is known to have several benefits) is. The idea, I'm sure they've taught you, is to assume there are new students in every class and that not everyone is an expert. (I almost suspect you are nature's way of getting back at acronym and jargon spouting P&G type people) And to start talking midway between a rapid fire kapalbhati and then start again, in the process screwing up our inhale exhale cycle is just CRIMINAL!!!

3. I'm never coming to your class ever again. There! I hope I've made my point. (Not like you'll notice, but everyone who reads this knows. HAH!)

Ok, I'll put myself to sleep on my recently acquired habit of gruesome thriller type novel now. Good night!


Penguin said...

Wow. Give off feedback on teacher - I'm sure there's a form somewhere in the gym or just tell the teacher directly (but politely, please. Don't punch his face!). Probably no one's ever told him about the problems he has, so how he'll correct, say? :-)

Penguin said...

Also, one koshtin ya - am I allowed to point out spelling mistakes, say? :-P

unpredictable said...

I'm not giving him feedback. He should know by now, considering his slot is at an unearthly hour on Monday evenings!

Darn. I'll go check now only. IS it muttering? No. :S

Penguin said...

Hahahaha! Call and I'll tell you. By the way, in a previous post, you also spell gratitude as gratidue. You're losing it ma. :-)

Anonymous said...

yakka phone poteengala? yeggain pannungo please whenever possible to Mogambo.

Nothings aplenty said...

And how is the pain now? Is it poyepochu?

unpredictable said...

Penguin: Dammit.

Mogambo: Aha yes I called. And with good news too!

Nothing: Actually, it got kinda worse after one session bollywood dance and another of hatha yoga. but its a nice kinda pain, know what i mean? :)

srikant said...

There are 2 schools of thought. one is school of awesome and other is school of arbit. True Yoga is school of arbit and Pure Yoga is the other :)

unpredictable said...

Srikant: Shut up. Go home and admire that nice new vase that goes with the decor. Go.