Bombay

Still as vivid in its colors as the rainbow, still as cacophonic in its motley of sounds as a playpen filled with 3 year olds, still as elusive to understanding as the quiet guy i had a crush on at 18 (this is a metaphor - do not kill me with questions over it!), still evoking the strongest reactions and creating a bank of inspiring ideas to write about. Still keeping the writer and the artist in everyone of its inhabitants alive and kicking :-) More in the next few days on why i love and hate the city of my birth all at once ..

And happiness is?

A state of mind, vs the reaction to external stimuli that we've reduced it to. There's much merit in keeping that smile on, come rain come sunshine come freeze-ur-ass-off winters :-)

An accumulation of the small joys that most of our mundane lives have to generously offer, vs. the revealing light at the end of the tunnel that we all make it out to be.

Laughing at even the worst joke if the one cracking it is someone you care for, if they feel great about themselves and you gain a smile, who the f cares what the joke was about!!! :-)

The outcome of unconditional love, die hard friendships and faith in oneself vs. the ephemerals of endless partying, shopping till u drop or nights of drunken stupor our generation confuses it with :-)

Letting your favorite songs touching you deep deep deep down inside, memories of good times with loved ones, conversation without abandon that take you through sleepless nights without so much as a sigh and keep you looking forward to more :-))

When the smile on your lips reaches the corners of your eyes, anything less just doesn't measure up! :D Grinning without worrying about yellowing teeth, brace needing teeth or laugh lines :DDD

Friends and family, the blessing of good health and a decent nourishing meal each day, knowing that well being in itself is a huge advantage over the underprivileged, deprived lives that millions in the world go through day after day (Blood Diamond - thanks very much!)

That and so much more im sure my kind visitors will add on their wisdom :-)

Of saris .. arranged marriages .. and other things Indian

Had the chance to indulge in what id easily term an exotic experience .. drape saris for Jo and Ali .. both lovely Australian ladies from P&G ... (story behind this is tonight is hen's party for an Indian brand manager and all these enthusiastic women have put together a whole Bollywood dance training evening with actual naach gaana at a popular local bollywood club :) ) .. the clincher being there aren't too many Indian girls they know who can drape saris very easily .. and those who do weren't available ... so Vidya Murthy ma'am asked me and i jumped at the chance!!! :-)

So i trudged along to Vidyas house this afternoon .. not knowing what to expect ... would they carry safety pins? would they carry everything it needs to hold the sari up? would they like a 'khulla panna' (the classic elegant style of leaving the end of the sari open on ones arm) or would they prefer pleats (arguably less elegant looking but def much more manageable - esp for 1st timers) ... well when we CMkers dont know any better .. we just call the consumer the boss and let her decide .. so thats exactly what i did :)

Jo turned up huffing and apologetic for being late .. but then so was i .. anyone who expects a woman to turn up post packing of any kind at any place has to be half mad .. so i did ensure i set out for the place later than promised :) (takes one to know one right?)

Turns out draping a sari is much easier than id expected .. find the fall .. drape once ... pleat the end ... loop around once and pin it to the shoulder ... pleat the middle and tuck into the skirt (even my tam bram sister wore cycling shorts instead of the classical "pavadai" for her wedding .. and here these women were wearing authentic indian sari skirts!) and lo and behold the sari is done!!! Ive never done this for myself or neone else in the 5 minutes it took me today!! Am still wondering if these women r just incredibly cooperative vs indian women who know exactly how they want it to look and wont give up trying to re drape until theyre quite satisfied !:-) ... Alison was next .. took all of 5 minutes for her too :-) .. and u shouldve seen the smiles on their faces .. WOW! they looked positively elated to be in saris ... they even had the enthu to have bought matching accessories (something i didnt start to do until i made acquaintance with the very coordinated Prerna Arora in 2002 :-))

And so we sat post that waiting for Murthy ma'am to turn up so they could all leave together for Supriyas hens nite ... and we drifted from one topic to another and as is expected ended up on the very intriguing topic of arranged marriages ... pretty ordinary and common place to indians but a source of much thought and questioning for westerners ...

I did realize however, that the concept has been exposed to the P&G non indian crowd in its most urbanized form .. as an alternative to being single for life or meeting ur own life partner ... more like a family set dating service than the sad and pathetic practice a lot of people see it as being ... jo mentioned a book named 'holy cow' which describes (pretty realistically apparently) an australian womans adventures in the land of elephants and snake charmers :) .. that was her source of knowing that arranged marriages can sometimes mean meeting ur spouse for life at the altar for the very 1st time ... as much as the idea sends goosebumps up her skin .. it does the same to me as well!!!

Im not sure how long it takes to detach oneself from the reality that is "Class B towns and below" india .. and im not sure if its the function of the education or living abroad so long ... some practices now feel very very alien .. dowry, arranged marriages with no chance to measure compatibility, women eating left overs once the men in the family have eaten, intercaste and inter religious marriages being a horrendously big deal, stay at home mothers being treated like illiterate bums just coz they dont bring in money to the household... and so on ..

While some other concepts that were esrtwhile alien now feel very very comfortable ... like stay at home dads, women not knowing how to cook, non spoilt men who can take care of themselves just fine, treating alcohol with the casualness it deserves (unless ur getting addicted), pre martial sex (im not condoning it - i just stopped thinking of it as "wrong") ... and so on ...

Not quite sure if my post had a point ... but as Sharmili wud say .. if ur looking for one each time u read .. then too bad for u :DD

:-) and :-(

Such a mixed week it was ... of :-) and :-( ...

... discovered some amazing music in the last few days ..Coldplay .. and classical rock as a new genre of music ... can anyone believe ive never hrd pink flowd ever before???

:-)

....developed a ear block that can only be cleaned out next week ... hurts like bloody nobodys business and keeps me howling in pain through official calls even .. OUCH!!

:-(

....unexpectedly caught up with my ABM on her life and plans ... was very inspired when she told me the reason shes not ready to be in a relationship is coz she thinks she doesnt even know herself well enough .. and is scared she'll start to want something another person wants and never know till its too late :-) .. one of those amazing conversations that lasted an unplanned 30 minutes before we got down to discussin business for 5 mins :DD

:-)

....been gripped by nausea in moving vehicles .. not sure if im developing motion sickness or if its the ear block thats literally throwing my balance off balance !!

:-(

... finally starting to make progress on strategy for the business i work on ... one big deliverable for this year ... and now have something to show for the week that went by .. and in good time too coz my 1:1 is next week ...

:-)

... sadly the genesis of this is still someone else .. not me like Ty would have wanted (and been proud of! :( .. )

:-(

....have a weekend filled with interesting things .. reading to kids with kinks .. hot yoga with aps.. grub and flick session with the olay group .. draping saris for non indian procterites :-) ... squash for amateurs on sunday .. pizza and a movie post tht ...

:-)

... why yet does my mind feel completely incomplete? like theres so many answers it seeks .. none of which im ready or willing to answer yet ... i wish i could apply the kinda clear thinking to my life as ty coached me to apply to my work ..

:-(

..... have been exercising well this week .. managed to get some running done .. blogged as much as id like ... caught some interesting conversations with friends of friends and some complete strangers ... is conversation such a big deal to everyone??? or am i just plain crazy? :DD

:-)

..... still going through massive mood swings .. ive gone from insanely angry to eerily quiet .. from delirously happy to contentedly smiley ... i wish my pendulum would just stop ticking away for once ...

:-(

but thanks god !!!.. u still have me alive and breathing ... witty and capable of writing what i think ... speaking my mind and loving the ppl who matter ... enough for me to say alls well with the world and hope life only gets much much more interesting

:-)