A trip in pictures ....

A picture is worth a 1000 words apparently, so ill shut up and let the pics talk ... :-)

Elmira Heights .... and 2 very very cool women in sepia :D

With 2 women, can shopping be far behind??? The Singapore sale, Ladies and Gentlemen! :D

God's very own canvas, and the paintbrush of my mind :-)

Sunset, water and a lovely breeze....

Partner in crime and responsible caretaker rolled into one, presenting the incredible Nayak :-)

Terrible shaky snap, but a lovely riverside view nevertheless ... :-)

Trust the woman to take random snaps, did you know that dinosaurs were not from the Jurrassic era after all? :-)

She can run, can hide, can even dive, can't escape me though :-) Suicide is illegal woman!!! :P

Some gray, some green and much most happiness induced thus ... anything better than a cloudy evening by the waterfront? I say not!!!

And maybe some more later :)

Had a bad day?

My latest 24 loop song, oh how did i never hear this before!! Check out the youtube video and lyrics here :-)

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Bad Day
Where is the moment we needed the most

You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

They tell me your blue skies fade to gray

They tell me your passion's gone away

And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low

You're faking a smile with the coffee you go

You tell me your life's been way off line

You're falling to pieces every time

And I don't need no carryin' on

Because you had a bad day

You're taking one down

You sing a sad song just to turn it around

You say you don't know

You tell me don't lie

You work at a smile and you go for a ride

You had a bad day

The camera don't lie

You're coming back down and you really don't mind

You had a bad day

You had a bad day

Will you need a blue sky holiday?

The point is they laugh at what you say

And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day

You're taking one down

You sing a sad song just to turn it around

You say you don't know

You tell me don't lie

You work at a smile and you go for a ride

You had a bad day

The camera don't lie

You're coming back down and you really don't mind

You had a bad day

(Oooh.. a holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink

And the whole thing turns out wrong

You might not make it back and you know

That you could be well oh that strong

And I'm not wrong(yeah...)

So where is the passion when you need it the most

Oh you and I

You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day

You're taking one down

You sing a sad song just to turn it around

You say you don't know

You tell me don't lie

You work at a smile and you go for a ride

You had a bad day

You've seen what you like

And how does it feel for one more time

You had a bad day

You had a bad day

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Awesome no??? :D

Diamonds are forever?

Linking up to Binu's blog to let people know what a stinky underbelly the diamond business worldwide has.

Changed my mind about getting myself a diamond ring when i read this, simple platinum it is for me!!!

Life comes full circle doesn't it?

Over the last few days a friend Y and I made this interesting observation. That the way i treat Y is very different from the way i treat another friend that i love tremendously, lets call this friend X for the sake of argument (and to simplify my already 'threatening to be complicated' post).

Observation: I treat Y the same way X treated me always. And that Y constantly treats me the same way i treated X. To give an example, Y is so open with displays of affection and so comfortable with expressing love for me, and i was just the same with X. On the other hand, I tend to get overwhlemed by Y's affection and maybe even react undesirably to it by belittling it or sometimes wishing it away, and we noted that X tended to do that to me.

Wait, the engineer in me is protesting to this verbal dilution of simple mathematical logic

In terms of how the reservation with expressiveness flows
X--> Me --> Y

And in terms of how comfort with expressing love flows
Y--> Me --> X

And I can map this out with various values of X and Y. I'm pretty sure that eventually it all cancels out so that the amount we express with 50% of our friends is negated perfectly by how reserved we are with our expression of love with the other 50%.

Conclusion: Life comes full circle.

Note to all: I wish i could claim to temporary insanity when i wrote this post. Unfortunately, my mind works like this even when im perfectly sane. :-) If ur counting urself as lucky to not know me from close quarters, I won't blame you! :-)

Note to Y: I love you anyway. The verbal person that I am, I'm probably just better at expressing in words than in gestures. Words come easier over the phone, so im sorry that i come across as a frigid ass sometimes at close quarters :-) but u have to admit, im a lovable ass nevertheless :D

My inner hero .. apparently ..

For those who know me well, any mentions of "I told you so" won't go down well i promise you!!! :-)


My Inner Hero - Paladin!



I strive to help others, and to bring truth and harmony to the world however I can. Whether times are good or bad, you can always count on me. I'm a shoulder to cry on, a champion for the helpless, and an all around nice person.

Read on .. gets better:
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Your Mission:
You were put on this earth to help others. They will trust you, because they are attracted to your sincerity, your kindness, and your willingness to do what's right. You are the one who has to stand up for the little guy, because everyone else is too busy looking after number one.Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to Fix Something. Something small, or something big. Put a new chain on your brother's bike. Reconcile a family feud. Take a stray cat to the vet to be spayed. Donate blood. Fix a friend's car for free. Fix SOMETHING.
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(I'm thinking I'll start with fixing the leaking tap in my bathroom. No matter what u say, i think saving water is as noble as it gets!! )


Oh this part is so hilarious - completely stinks of the 'Im waiting for my knight in shining armor to come rescue me' sentiment!

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A Warning:
Try to remember: sometimes you need to fight for what you believe in. When someone steps on your rights, or the rights of others, you have to forget being "the nice guy/girl" and set things the way they should be. If necessary, befriend a Warrior and enlist him or her in your cause. Then just turn your Warrior loose and watch the fireworks.

Sometimes you're just going to have to face reality. Because you yourself are trustworthy, you tend to be too trusting. But not everyone is as kind and honest as you are. You may need a Rogue on your side to let you know when you're being hoodwinked, swindled, or made a fool of."
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So apparently im looking for a rogue to save me from the evil in the world that's waiting to engulf me in its nastiness. Any takers? :D


How about you? Click here to find your own inner hero.

URK URK URK

Before any nincompoop asks, that's the sound of complete and utter frustration at how wrong things can go!!!

Tues Wed: Mr Mundra is supp to land up in Singapore to grant us a darshan of his pretty face, he loses his passport. And files an FIR to retrieve it. Oh and lets not forget, cancels his trip!

Thurs Fri: Ms Sharmili is supposed to join me and friends on the much awaited island getaway to Perhantian, Malaysia. 30 minutes before i board the bus to KL, we find out her ECNR isnt coming through and so NO visa happening at KL. She has to come straight to Singapore. ARRRGGHHH!! Yes yes, the point of the trip was meeting her and painting the town red. The point was being with each other after 4 months of a mere 6 hours spent together and before god knows how long considering she's about to start out on an MBA soon (oh and don't even get me started off on what the bloody degree does to perfectly normal people and their priorities) and yes i should be happy she's even landing.

But cmon! I deserve to be able to crib! Its been months since a vacation that i can indulge in the memories of (and happily so). The last was decent, Mumbai with family and friends, but u know how visiting home is never really a 'vacation'. The one before that .. and before that.. and before that ... oh im still trying to do an 'Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind' on those! And the one before was Unmaad 2006!! More than 14 months ago :( Im changing assignments soon, and this is the PERFECT time to take a break, when ive more or less wrapped up prior committments and am yet to take on new ones .. and a vacation wudve been SOOO perfect!!

Am heading out to a sinful dinner with BM to make up for the lousy lousy way things today, and this month and this year in general have turned out. Yes i have faith and all that jazz. Yes yes there's a silver lining somewhere, but right now the darkness of the clouds is just too much to let me see anything ok! So give the optimism a rest and let me crib. (where's kinks when i need a listener the most!, oh wait, he's in MALAYSIA on the same island we were supp to join him at!!!) URK URK URK URK URK and MORE URK!!!

Phew... ok to be perfectly honest, im totally kicked that she's even here tomorrow and im on leave another 5 days :DDDDD But let a woman indulge will ya? :-)

And of great cities ...

This is a post i promised a blogger friend I'd def post. She's a mother of 2 I completely adore and admire. Plug her blog to everyone who's willing to listen. I think most working mothers in P&G now avoid me coz they don't wanna hear anymore plugging of this blog! :P Kidding!! But its so funny that even in my singleton unmarried status at 25, i can so relate to the things she writes about. As i tell my friends when i plug her blog, she has the ability to take the most specific incidents of her life and turn them into incisive discussions that would interest even the non mother population of the world. I bumped into her through another friend (yeah talk about a SMALL world!) and while i spoke to her today also started plugging my other favorite thing - Singapore :) Unlike most others who dismiss me as a fool when i start waxing eloquent about this city, she simply asked me "why so?". I promised her this blog. And i'll deliver on that, regardless of how late it is :)

Why is this a really good city to live in:

Let me admit upfront, Singapore is no fancy city. Its not aspirational. I've heard a hajaar people tell me they'd like to live in NY or London atleast once in their lives. And what's that about anyway? The movies shot there? The books that center around them? Everyone tells me these cities have that 'certain something' about them that you can't possibly put into words. Fine, ill buy the whole, u can quantify everything argument. And ill admit upfront, Singapore has none of that 'undefinable' charm. So why would i go around recommending it so strongly to everyone i know? Lemme list as is tradition :)

1. Its an organized city. Yes, shun me for loving organized things and places. But im not bleddy asking honeymooning couples to come here. Im telling you, its a good city for people with families. Not for adventurers and people with the scuba diving spirit (you know what i mean). Come to SG if u want stability and order, discipline in your life. If you have 2 kids or plan to have them soon. Coz this city will give you the stability and support your life needs thereafter.

2. Public transport rocks. Buses connect the farthest parts of the city. They're airconditioned and comfortable. So are trains. And cabs are cheap. Unlike in London, or any other European city where you'd hesitate to take a cab home, this is a city that makes cabs available even to procterites. And considering how much band 1 and 2 level procterites get paid, thats saying a lot! :)

3. You get domestic help. Ok you can beat me up all you like, but i love getting a warm cooked meal when i get home. I can cook, and not just to save my life. But cooking out of interest gets flushed down the drain when this becomes a daily obligation to yourself as an alternative to slaving in the kitchen, going hungry or eating out every single night. And so the maid steps in. I also like my house to be nice and clean as far as possible. I dig the whole weekly bathroom cleaning, and being able to invite people over without having to think twice about accumulated dishes or mess of any sort. I love getting my morning chai, and getting some breakfast instead of trugding wearily to work everyday. So curse me all you want, but a maid is a luxury i completely enjoy and utilize. I saw my own mother slog away her life between running to work and managing house, cooking 3 square meals a day and end up tired and weary, turning down promotions for our sakes and all that. Im sure she doesnt regret them, im sure it was out of love and didnt feel like 'sacrifice', but id like to believe that i studied like a maniac to ensure i had a comfortable life when i was in my 20s and 30s. And i like being able to get that here in this city.

Now on domestic help itself: For a nominal amount per month you can have a live in maid. (Don't oh please, don't get started on the whole, call them maids or call them co workers or call them queen Elizabeth - i give 2 hoots for nomenclature so dont u start on that!) They're professional, you don't have to feel guilty about treating them bad, coz there's clear rules on whats acceptable and what's not. You can teach them to cook your cuisine and manage the house the way you want. If your not satisfied, say it politely, show them how to do it and it'll likely get done exactly like that without any naatak. If you're a working mom, then you can go to work guilt free coz ur kids will get taken care of. If ur an SAHM (like my blogger friend is), then you get that extra little bit of help with keeping the place spic and span, and getting help with the kids when you need an extra hand. You can focus on the children, and don't have to worry about cleaning the bathrooms and keeping the kitchen roach free. You get what u asked for, a great experience watching your kids grow, vs having to grapple with tons of stuff that tires you out at the end of the day.

4. Its a safe city. I have experience of only 3 cities before this, Bombay, Madras and Bangalore. In all 3, I was advised to have male company when i ventured out late. Here, i take a cab alone at 2 am and i feel safe. U know what it feels like to FEEL safe right? Its not jus about being safe, its that mental state of calm, knowing that you can go and come as you please, you can wear what you want without getting deprived wolf like stares and getting visually undressed by undesirable elements. So yes, its a safe city for women. And for families in general. With very little history of mugging, theft and the like.

5. Its bloody convenient. Of course domestic help is one dimension of convenience, but shopping for groceries is not an ordeal. U can order them online. No - you dont have to do the weekly Mustafa thing. For friends who've lived here for years and still arent using Shivsagar online, please call me tomorrow and take the damn number will ya? Moving on, all bills get paid online. No long queues or month long wait for an electric connection or for fixing a broken pipe. Things move darned quick. And it makes your life simple, esp if u have 3 babies who need your time and attention more.

6. Its close to India. Time diff is 2.5 hrs so u can call ur folks without having to plan the call time a great deal. And they can do the same. Flying to India is quick and convenient. And for those who want their kids to grow up in their formative years around other indian kids, here's a city that gives you enough of that. Many many hubs where indians reside, send their kids to school and the like. You'll never feel away from home. Flying to India and back doesnt cost a bomb, so your family can visit often. And you can do the same.

7. The taxes are really low. Unlike in the UK or ANZ where you blow most of your income paying the government, you get to save a lot of your hard earned money here. The cost of living is usually pretty decent by most payscale standards and lets you save enough. With a currency much stronger than most others, this means you get to invest in properties and equities back home and make good use of your money.

8. Its a small city. I used to think twice before i stepped out in Bombay. Coz my parents could only afford an apartment in the northern suburbs, and every place of academic activity or entertainment was atleast 1.5 hrs and a painful train ride away. Here i dont hesitate to step out and visit friends over the weekend, office is 10 mins walking distance from home. Even in worst case scenarios, people take max 30 mins to commute - makes life much much simpler!

I know people think the city doesn't offer much to do in terms of activity. But for those who look hard enough, there's always something. Mail me seperately with your interests and i can send you links that will keep you occupied even in this 'boring' city. To be succint, there's everything from trekking to hiking, water sports to beach activities, movies and a happening clubbing scene, libraries and cultural centres for the arty types, quiet places and noisy places, drinking spots, temples and churches, and a ton of lovely countries to visit nearby.

Which other city offers all this eh? I'm admittedly a big big fan of Singapore. :-) Shoot me if you like. Or mail me seperately if u wanna know anything else, and ill be happy to help more of my friends move here! :)

So much to write, where do i even begin?

There are times i dont write for long spans of time. Trust me, my default state is one of being swarmed with thoughts. Not silent or melancholy. I ALWAYS have something to say, much to some people's irritation. But i do. So when i dont write, although i call it writers block, its not so much coz i can't think of anything decent to write, or a decent way to write it. Its just that im so overwhelmed with the volume of thoughts flooding through my little mind, that i dont know where to begin. And so begin I don't!

Anyway, a multitude of things i wanted to write about. Most unrelated to the others, so don't go looking for linkages esp. if ur from P&G. Bleddy what a disease procterism sometimes becomes! :P Ill put them in seperate blogs to make life simpler for everyone. Esp the hapless reader :)

Of great bosses ...
2 Examples from my short career in P&G, my 1st ever job. I don't count my experience in Citibank as a job no matter what one says.
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My boss Anand pings me on Sametime this morning regarding something id promised him i'd send him before he reached the Philippines on his biz trip today. I completely forgot in the midst of my multiple deliverables last week. (For those with the patience to read a long story - I did send out the request to the people who even needed the help in the first place, they didnt reply, and my miss was i completely slipped on following up.)

To cut a long story short, when he asked me if we had an answer, i cud only hang my head in shame and say Nope! Slipped! As sweetly as ever, he asked if i cud pull it together by this evening, and i jumped to redeem some of that lost dignity and said can!!

So i spend a good 2 hours this afternoon looking through the data we need, pull together watever the conclusion was and mail it all across very eagerly to Anand. We spoke on the phone after that, probably coz my mail was so full of info that he cudnt really find what he needed and decided to jus call me. This happened twice. I had WAY too much on my mind to be worrying about whether id come across as an inept fool. So i didnt give it another thought. Im normally a sensitive person and all, but after hanging around for 2 yrs, i know better than to beat myself up over small things anymore. So i dont give myself too much grief. But here's what makes the difference between a good boss and a great boss.

After our multiple phone discussions where we basically discuss exactly what id mailed out to him, but had to clarify over the phone (now imagine how badly i mustve written those mails), Anand calls me once more. I pick up the phone thinking, erm, now what! And he goes "Sudha, I know you put a lot of effort into pulling the data together and writing those mails. Its just easier to talk on the phone. Didnt mean to negate or belittle your effort, i hope u understand that. Don't feel bad about it."

My first reaction was :O !!!! I laughed it off on the phone with him, said of course i didn't mind and all. But the gesture seriously touched my heart. I mean, for a boss with hajaar things on his mind to have THAT kind of consideration for just one of his many direct reports (a soon leaving report at that!) is just plain incredible. And Anand is just one of the many wonderful people ive met here at P&G.

I'm touched beyond belief and respect the man more than ever before. :-)

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Story 2:
A little background: My 1st week in P&G. Im this shuddering new hire who's completely terrified of her boss, a certain TA. Now with a name like that, i expected a gladiator like person to appear in front of me. Instead got someone who looked pretty normal, yet acted rather scary. It's T's style haan, dont be fooled by it. He bullies you and scares the crap out of you so you do the very best you can and exceed your own expectations. Equips you to make yourself proud even as you make him proud. More details some other time. (and so much for a LITTLE background!)

Some more background on what makes me quiver thus at the sight or mention of the word boss: An oft repeated story even on my blog, this. But citibank gave me this lovely lady who screamed at the drop of a hat, lost her temper with everything i said and did and felt like a constant fire breathing dragon in my vicinity. I've never been yelled at all my bloody life, not even by my birth parents, and she changed all that. So i came into P&G thinking its normal for bosses to yell at their reports and publicly insult them.

Cut to me sitting at central desk in the P&G office, Olay area, week 1: Te walks up to me. Asks me, tumko standard deviation ka funda pata hai na. As always i bulb a little, (bulbing was standard reaction to whatever Mr Tyrone asked back then, don't ask why!) stammer and say, of course i do. And we get into a discussion on what used to be one of my best subjects in b school. Its a very generic theoretical discussion that T in his classic style is trying to get me to apply to something practical. I jus sat and gaped as he sent fundae my way. Was impressed to say the least. And definetely not scared or insulted at being openly confronted in front of a bunch of people. Coz he never made it feel like interrogation or a question on my ability. His demeanor was so chillax that even the usually sensitive me couldn't fathom being insulted or feeling cornered.

And yet he suddenly stops, looks around, asks me to walk into a huddle room with him (for non P&Gers - a huddle room is a meeting room types, with glass doors so people can see you and know the room is occupied but can't hear you from outside) and i meekly follow him thinking ab kya hua? :S

And T sits me down and goes, "yaar i hope u didnt feel bad that i caught u like that in front of some 10 ppl, intent was not to put u down or anything, i just got so caught up in our discussion i forgot so many ppl were listening. I hope you're not feeling bad or anything."

Now you can imagine what kinda jolt that was to my system, coming from the screaming boss background that i did. I guess, its when i looked up to the sky and thanked God that after all the years of slogging through all that education, i was finally in a place filled with GOOD people.

I was touched beyond belief even back then. It was the start of what you might call hero worship. But when people are so wonderful, they leave you with little option. :)

Test post, test post

Its painful to sit at the table connected to a LAN cord, so am experimenting with the less reliable wireless network, lets see if this post appears. (what keedas i do!)

To my friends,

Esp the ones who expressed worry over the recent posts ive been writing. Just to assure u, im not going insane, not depressed or dying. Here's whats responsible.

1. Been down with a bad cough and the medicines are making my mind and body lethargic. Thinking, talking and even walking is a huge effort. Ive stopped the medicines over the week and will continue over weekend coz i cannot stand to be a superlative bore at work/ with frnds.

2. Ive been in my job for 2 yrs now, and as is typical, am going thru the 2 yr itch. No i dont intend leaving, or even feel like it remotely. I jus miss my frnds in India badddlllyyy and wud love a few days off to catch up with everyone. A few hugs, some rounds of brilliant nostalgic conversation and a cpl of drinks (hic!) would really help right now :) Ill be better soon, as soon as the magical Shamu lands here in 2 weeks and takes my mind out for a spin :) Until then am enduring work and pulling through daily committments as best as i can.

So ill be back to normal, very very soon. Until then be a good friend and put up with the darkness will ya?

P.s: For any Olay person reading this, Thailand shares are rocking right? So dont complain !!! :D

It'll pass ...

My antisocial phase, where there's zero intention to meet people. All id like to do is stay home in bed, read about serial killers indulging in cannibalistic rites (no less) and vacationing psychologists trying to find them amidst mutated spiders and snakes (I know!!! What is with me!) and then drift off to sleep under the influence of cough syrup, and possibly not have to wake up to an alarm.. or not wake up at all for some time.

My no work phase .. where i want to do nothing but stare out the window and think of NOTHING. No growing business (God- pls dont let any of my teammates/ bosses read this!), no solving problems, no analysis, no nothing. Meanwhile the world can pass me by, deadlines should jus finish themselves, people at Olay should assume ive left for Ariel and people on Ariel should assume im still on Olay (:DD - ill be darned if i ever find pull that off!).

My 'im a complete and ridiculous bore' phase: Where ive lost the spark of scintillating conversation, and im resorting to old stories to feel like an interesting person with an interesting life. Normally talking comes so easily, why the sudden block then? Normally i dont have to struggle to find amusing things to say, then why now the sudden temptation to be quiet? Maybe the pointed accusations of speaking too much in the recent and not so recent past are subliminally taking their toll. Or maybe, its that thing amma calls the evil eye (Evil grin :D) Damn damn the quiet people of the world who wish to drag me down with them!

So how? I'll wait for it to pass, like everything else does. Has.

When i was 17 ..

Was a HUGE movie buff. Watched atleast 2 movies each week on Star Movies or HBO, which back then would air some gems amidst the usual trash. But I had the enthu to watch, even if not always the time. Friends and family assumed i was the avid muggoo sitting at home and studying relentlessly, when in fact i devoured movie after movie in breaks that were planned to be 30 mins long and extended as long as it took for the movie to be over!

Still rbbr tht the 1st thing i checked every morning in the Bombay times was the movie sked for the day. Would mentally mark off movies as must see, and plan my study sked accordingly, with enuff buffer to acco the movie :-) Yes im the planned devil incarnate, but i loved movies more than i loved anything else back then, even books!

And the interest kept my mind alive with remembering names, of movies, people who acted in them, famous lines, songs, even the crew! Had names of most actors and actresses on the tip of my tongue, and even after moving to IIMB, the incredible campus LAN gave access to an assorted collection of movies. As friends danced the night away downstairs every fortnight at the infamous L Squares, i sat in my room and devoured more movies! It was a herculean effort what with all the noise, having to shut windows and doors just to be able to hear the damn movie! But i did it anyway, even back then, names and stories were my forte... and sadly 2 yrs of working not only made me lose touch with TV and movie channels, but also numbed my memory for names and events.

Note to self: This is the time and the place to get back to the movie buff u once were! Go on, use that DVD rental facility well! :D

Of plans gone wrong, the 24 loop and sundry others

Yeah, another fancy title for a post that'll be about nothing in particular ...

Plans gone wrong: Just found out that my flatmate would like to live on her own after we move out of this house. Not like its shocking news, it had come up earlier and i did kinda see it coming the last few weeks. Now last yr, about october, i thought i had life figured out, all moves, all directions, and most goals. So house moving was last on my list of priorities. I had that infamous thing they call plans!!! Then i found that infamous thing they call "the best laid plans go terribly wrong sometimes"! :-) And im back to square one .. in so many many ways!!! So net, if u know any young women looking for a clean, tidy, responsible flatmate, you know who to call!

The 24 loop: We all have these songs, we hear them the 1st time and we hear them over and over again. The soft hearted ones have more such songs, the stronger ones have fewer, but we all do. After o saathi re, its been a while since a song really caught my fancy, until yesterday that is! Laaree Chooti is a song from this movie called Ek Chalees ki Local, a song about bombay (argh, none except those born here would understand the anguish and the joy that is bombay!) has been playing on my ipod, and on the comp when the ipod is switched off. Lovvvve the song!! Im trying not to sing along coz the voice is a busted and Saturday has to see me reading to kids at the lib and then impressing my very suspicious singing teacher with my stronghold over sa re ga ma .. (yeah im still there! havent moved in 2 weeks!) so i might as well take super good care of the voice! Until then, u cud sing along ...

"kismat ka khel hai saara

phirta tha main aawaara

yeh kya se kya ho gaya

chaar din ki zindagaani

har pal ek nayi kahaani

kya tha, main kya bana gaya

kya huva jo laaree chhooti

jivan ki gaadi looti

khwaab hai toh mujhko na jaga

zindagi ek pal mein saali

yuun palat gayi hamaari

jhoot hai toh mujhko na bata..."

Looouuing it !!!


And finally,
New places to go, new things to see and explore...

Celebrated 2 years at P&G on the 2nd of May with some awesome news, finally i take on a band 2 role (yes its a subtle way of saying i got promoted!) and with it move to a business very different from my first love, Olay.

Ariel will pose new challenges, a new team to get to know, a new boss, and category dynamics that are radically unlike those on Olay! I'm so looking forward to the experience and thanking my stars now, that i had the bosses i did, the team i did, and that everyone was wonderful and supportive and that the job posed the complexities that it did. Im learning to appreciate stretching the mind beyond its limits and this is the ideal experience to stretch it even further ! :D India ... look out! Here i come!

Naive, am I?

Someone recently told me im terribly naive. And it set me thinking, ME? The one who plans for worst case scenarios, is always prepared as far as possible, unless the plan is to be spontaneous and anticipates responses and situations before hand .. ME? Naive!??!

Now one could argue that it boils down to perspective whether one is naive or not. Cause end of the day, being naive is about knowing or feeling the presence of less negatives/ potential disasters in this world vs another person. And that makes it a relative notion. Still, that dialogue simply set me thinking on why someone would ever qualify me as naive. And here's wat i discovered ..

1. I've come across lesser evil in my tiny sheltered existence. More exposure to experiences increases net exposure to evil as well, and since my experiences were few my exposure to evil was equally rare.

2. I've always had more reason to trust people vs to doubt them. This is cause the people i picked to walk with me through life as friends or more were always good people. In retrospect i can attribute it either to having a good radar on people .. touchwood! or to just being plain blessed. But of course this is limited to when i could make those choices on picking people.

3. In cases where i couldnt really pick people (project mates in high school or b school, colleagues at work, close and extended family), its rare tht ive ever come away with my faith in the goodness of people completely shattered. And that can only be attributed to being blessed/ lucky.

4. I dont know what the future holds for me. I can safely assume my radar on people will continue to function just fine. Admittedly, I dont know if "choiceless" situations will still turn out fine, all i know is this little something that the Bible talks about ... "If God notices, values, and cares about a tiny sparrow, then how much more must God notice, value, and care about us!"

So with that optimistic thought, ill resign to being labelled naive, as the same someone told me, its not necessarily a bad thing!!! :-)

Naivette anyone?

The Walrus, an august duo and yellow lights ...

Well actually the post is simply put, is the meaning of music - 2, just that naming it as i did above makes it sound all cool no?? :)

Anyway .. .moving on with the songs ...

I am the Walrus: Rajeev aka Kinky

Mash's (Marketing club) 1st online game went live during Vista 04, we had a new bunch of Mashians, one of whom was this lanky kid they fondly called Kinky. As is expected with most online events, this one had way too many glitches way too close to the exact time it was supp to go live. And since i was the senior team member in charge, there i was, hanging around the IT experts' room trying to get the damn thing online as close to 9 pm as possible.

No one else from the Junior team was around, although they were all technically on the game team - no one but this chap Kinky. I kept telling him its cool, u can go back, none of ur batchmates r here anyway, ill manage. And he wouldn't budge at all! I kinda felt sorryish for him having to hang around like that with not much to do but wait for the IT chaps to decode some bugs, not that i was doing anything hugely constructive, but still! I took one last shot, said "hey kinky, why dont u go ahd, there's not much either of us can do anyway, im sure u have other places u wanna be at". The kid turns around and looks me in the eye, and with just a mild shrug of impatience says "But its my game too! I want to be around when it goes online .. and i want it to happen well!"

And that's how Kinky officially floored me with his passion for the club, and his utter perseverance with doing a good job of anything he took on. I still rbbr the nites he stayed up devising Brand wars - the official marketing strategy simulation game. He'd ping me through his frustrating nite outs on bracket, citing how pained he was and all tht ... id say well, if ur so pained, just go to sleep!!! Why u killin urself over this game??? And he'd go, hey im just cribbing, be a good listener and let me vent! Dont discourage me from working hard!! And i'd just be like :O and listen! Gradually Kinks and i came to this incredible understanding of each others minds where he knew exactly when i needed just his ear and when i needed his wisdom, and vice versa.

Kinks always thot of the beatles as the "music tht defined the decade" ..one of his all time fav songs was " I am the walrus" ... a song i never quite got! Or even tried! Kinks is like tht i figured, sometimes u have to stop trying to understand coz he jus gets a kick out of being weird and goofy :) Everything about kinks is linked up to the walrus, even now his status msg on his blog and on orkut read something about a walrus. Man i never understood the whole funda, but u say walrus and i think Kinksssss !!! :DDD


O saathi re: Aarthi Sivaraman aka the much mostest godstep level louuuuable gal i 1st met last August!!!

Aarthi Sivaraman, not even someone i know directly and today someone i talk to on an almost daily basis. A friend of a friend of a friends, she stayed over at my place on her way from the US back to Madras last August. We hit it off, partly coz she's just a super fun talkative person with unbelievable amounts of energy and enthu for all things alive and inanimate :), and partly because of some common situations in both our lives at that point. Of the 20 odd hours she stayed home, i think 18 were spent listening to O Saathi re from the recently released Omkaara and sighing about how much it touched the innermost depths of our heart and soul. :) Oh i loved that time Aarthi!!! Ive always wanted to tell you, you know how sometimes we wonder why we met some people, became friends et al? Its coz they bring some other wonderful people along, and leave them behind even if they themselves walk away. And those wonderful people are really who we were supposed to meet and keep for life!!! :D And ur one of those wonderful people who walked in by sheer chance because of tht thing called six degrees of seperation and has stayed in .. u cannot even imagine how excited i was to hear about the whole Yale thing :D wanted to call up everyone connected to u both and tell them how u wr going to be just 2 hours away fm each other ... good luck with everything ma! We'll meet soooon!!! :D

Aahista Aahista: Sainag C aka FPG amidst the yellow lamps in A 315

The story of Sai will be told some other day. Lets just say if i had an inner circle of 10 people, he'd be one of them. Among the few people id trust my life with. Among the few who can read my silence even over a achy breaky ISD call and say "u sound different, something's up na?" and only one apart fm my mom who has the uncanny knack of smsing me with msgs like "Sudha, is everything ok?" at the most accurate times when something is indeed not ok! :) Ah the cosmic connection with him is like few others :)

Anyway, Aug 04, Swades had just released and Sai would often walk up to my room in the evening and ask me if id heard the music ... id usually respond with a bored no ... hadnt hrd .. didnt have enthu to download etc ... and he was like "but there's this song u HAVE to hear baba!!!" .. after 7 attempts or so, one fine day he walked into my room armed with a full bag, plonked himself on the floor, and opened the bag to reveal a Cd player. I gaped at him, "why do we need this when i have a PC!" i asked ... and he just shut me up and made me listen to Aahista Aahista ... hrd once, then hrd again .. then again n again ... then downloaded from the LAN to pc .. and played in loop while we talked about everything under the sun as we always did :) And then on, that was our song ... whenever he was with me, we'd play the same song, over and over again.

And so this mighty peace inducing song with minimal music and soulful lyrics is the song tht reminds me of Sai ... friend philosopher and guide .. through the best and not so best times of my life :)

And more shall follow ...

Landmark Forum

Just a tiny post with a recommendation from a good friend and respected colleague - Marlon Plazo.

Last week he was dragged to this training/ seminar/ inspirational workshop by his fiance. They all attended - the couple and their families. And Marlon came back exclaiming that it was better than the best trainings he's ever had in his career. Recommended that each of us try it and enrol at the soonest no matter how expensive it is. (650 to 700 SGD to be precise!!!)

Rationale:
It has the ability to transform ur life and happiness for good. It makes you revisit what's really important to you in life and move towards ur goals after removing all mental blocks that were stopping you so far. This is jus a gist of what he said. For more details check out
http://www.landmarkeducation.com/section.jsp?top=21


(Sep note:
Dear Marlon - why oh why did u not tell me about this magic potion a little earlier, maybe things could have turned out differently in my own choices, and then again, destiny being what it is, maybe not! :P)

To Shamu with love and pride

Dear Shamu,

All these years ive seen you go through life, as a student, as a simple girl from Borivali, with ur views on the world that sent some into splits and left others like me wondering where all that self concocted wisdom came from :)

I've seen you at your best, topping exams, being sports secy for the girls at VJTI, balancing a family and a gazillion friends with utmost concern for everyone but urself. Would be redundant to cite that ive loved you and been proud of you through all of those times. :)

But, I've seen you at your worst as well. Going through tough times at work, esp at Infy where you were literally baptized through fire with 15 hour long workdays that paid a pittance. Taking the CAT almost 3 times, almost to the point of giving up, yet never giving up. A life alone in a city away from home and family and friends, all this from a girl who never left Bombay on her own.

Might i add, I loved you even more through those bad times. Partly, coz all the times u reached out to me, you magically endowed me with a special place in your life. The position of the person who's words mattered enough to be heard and taken seriously. The position of a person who loved you and was given their due right in that role - the right to cheer you, comfort you and encourage you.

But more importantly, coz i saw the butterfly emerge from the coccoon in a slow, sometimes painful yet steady process. And the butterfly became the person that is you today. Gone is the idealism and naivette. Its replaced by a healthy realism which beautifully complements your innate positivity. Cause you've handled everything that was thrown your way with utmost grace and strength. Cause you've still been there to put a smile on so many faces when they were going through dark times, no matter how dark things were at your end.

And today, as you called me to tell me you made it to IIMB, you gave me what ill cherish as the best moment in this year. Possibly among the 5 top moments of my life. More happiness and excitement than I have had at any point in the last few months. So much pride in knowing that one of the finest women ive known and loved in my life, will be a part of community IIMB.

Congratulations on a very well deserved entry into a whole new life sweetie! More proud of you than you could ever imagine, happier for you than i have been for myself lately and looking forward to you becoming part of the bschool league :) Do give them some time to know how lucky they are to have you around. And i envy the people who's lives you'll touch with your friendship. Love you!!!

Sudha

P.s: Yes ill visit you in Blore sometime this year, just like u visited me wen i was a student at IIMB. Can't hardly wait. Once again, I have a reason to come back to campus. :)

So ur good with word associations?

Intellectual abilities: Burnt out, exhausted, brainfried, braindead:

For aforementioned reasons. From looking at concept after concept after concept. Looking through the consumers eyes, then through my own, then through my boss's then through the AMD's then as the grammar nazi, then to check for creeps, then to endow verbal brilliance and finally to ensure the core of the idea is still alive after all those checks. Now run this in a loop as many times as u frigging like.
Welcome to my world!


Mind and spirit: Dull, lifeless, lackluster:
For want of a vacation somewhere in the mountains or near a beach. For want of a rainy evening spent observing raindrops or quality time with a loved one. For want of some undying affection (Read shamu) or pampering (read mom) or listening (read shamu or mom :D) or touching words (read Sohit) or brilliant insights into my future (Read Sai) or affectionate leg pulling (Read Kunal) or time spent feeling fulfilled and innately happy (Read a currently incapable me??) or white at its most pristine (Read snow capped mountains) or refreshing hues of green (Read wide open fields dotted with tiny sunflowers) or the calm of blue (Read the wide open ocean) or the mystery of deep blue (read a starry starry nite at the beach) and much more to describe without the pain of a job to do hanging in the back of my mind and guilt making a slow entry into this afternoon endeavor :)

Fine fine .. ill get back to work ...

No sleep comin ...

One of those days that has just been SO eventful, and SO filled with news that the excitement isn't letting me blooody sleep .. i know ill regret it tomm morning when i trudge out of bed reluctantly to YET another concept writing session and wonder how we wrote such crappy concepts after everyone openly shunned the last round ... my creative juices need some salt n pepper and some tabasco and vodka!!! Hic! :D

The meaning of music - 1

Now that's an utterly profound name for a blog that won't really expound of the meaning of anything. As any marketer's tricks, that was just to get you reading :-)

Anyway, the thing about songs is, as i thought about them a few days ago i realized, some songs had special meaning in my 26 yr old life coz they brought me closer to someone or the other in an inexplicable yet in retrospect, meaningful way. Never realized it through the way, but as i thought of how much music has brought to life, mine and most other people's i also started to recollect all of the songs i associate with someone or the other today, inevitably breaking out into a smile. :-)

Lemon Tree (Fool's Garden): BM - the babe magnet Srikant Nayak
Of the guys i hung out with, Nayak had the cleanest room in IIMB. Which meant that if we had dinner plans as a group and if i was ready before the others (which was mostly mind you!) I'd walk over to C top and sit in his room and wait for everyone else to get done with being ready. (Although i simply dont get it, they have short hair, no eye make up shoe hassles or accessorizing - then WTF takes so long for a man to get ready when it takes me all of 10 mins?) But i digress. So most times Nayak had this random playlist running and he'd pick the nicest songs just so people wud think he had great taste in music!! :D There was this one song called Lemon Tree that id heard before, but cud never place the lyrics. One fine day as Nayak and I waited for the others (lets give him credit here, he takes all of 2 mins to get ready unlike Sohit and Kunal) this song started to play and we started humming along. It started as mild mannered humming with both of us being rather self conscious, and then suddenly we picked up rythm, started enjoying ourselves and started screaming out the song out loud in karaoke style!! It was soooo awesome, we had a google lyrics page open and sang along like 2 or 3 times before we had to leave for dinner. But Lemon Tree since that day, is our song :) (BM: Now u know why 10 mins ago i was asking you who sang it :))
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3x4HvXTyGQ

Your body is a wonderland (John Mayer): Kunal the funny guy consultant Mundra
Ok dont get me wrong here. I know it sounds weird, but let me explain before you jump to conclusions. Kunal was the first friend i made on campus (apart from Sam and Sandeep who i knew from VJTI) and we spent a fair bit of time together in our first few days, discussing our respective families, friends, i knew his then gf and now fiance Sudipta from some crash course at Vidyalankar and he knew some friend of mine and thats how it went. So as Kunal started to increasingly plonk his elder brotherly self in my room, (usually it wud be a pleading "Sudha i need to study and i cant do it in my room with ppl walking in!, Let me study here na!" and wud end up in me sitting uncomfortably on my chair working on the PC and him falling asleep right there on the bed! This is why i got the extra gadda into my room eventually!! Things i had to do for these boys .. sigh! ). Anyway, i digress again as is my habit! So Kunal wud always ask me why i was single and if i hadnt met any nice guys and all tht, tons of elder brotherly concern and advice, and one fine day as i walked into his room listening to this song, he goes, u know wen u find a nice chap, ull have the chance to play this song for him. Its much better than the crap u play on ur PC! Here, ive sent it to u on bracket. I was like :O but i kinda agreed with him and heard the song, and heard the song and heard it some more times before i felt sorry about being single :( and stopped listening to the song!!! :D Anyway, that was just that day, love the song to bits now and Your Body is a wonderland reminds me of Kunals attempt to change moi taste in music to reflect some refinement and class (!!!) .. Its your song Mr Mundra! :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJNE31Ndme0

Tere aane ki .. (Jagjit Singh): Mr Sohit Ibanking Kapoor
Sohit was always the Jagjit Singh fan. Him and I both take pride in the fact that he went on to translate a simple pleasure in music to a passionate channeling of energy at Unmaad which culminated in Jagjit Singh performing LIVE at IIMB for the very 1st time!!! :DDD so proud of everything he is and has accomplished! Remember our days in 5th term? Kunal and Dush were on exchange and Nayak was just busy with Chu and Moron, and Sohit and I would jus hang around campus, at the mess, in C top, mostly on the roads on campus and talk for hours, listen to music in his room which was mostly Jagjit Singh. I still remember one evening when Sohit calculated to a decimal's accuracy what grade i'd need in term 4 to make a 3.2 overall - without a calci or excel!!! We don't call him a superbrain for nothing! :D anyway, thats the time Sohit introduced me to his collection of fav Jagjit songs, tere aane ki was the one that stuck in my head, and the sweetheart that Sohit is, he'd play the song as many times as i wanted until i asked him to stop outta guilt :D So here's our song,
Tere aane ki jab khabar behke
Teri khushboo se, saara ghar mehke ...
Lovveeelyyy innit!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9IVNAOB8k0

More tomorrow, its midnight and i dont want another abm asking me why im yawning so much!!! :DD Night everyone!! Have fun listening ...

:OOO

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Yeah RITE!!! Im sure this is why im such a budding partygoer with the active social life. And if u didnt get the sarcasm, forget it!

WAT!!!

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Yeah fine, im not a bad unkind person, but this Mother Teresa thing is kinda pushing it!!! What DID I answer to those questions anyway!

Random ramblings of a tired young girl

10.30 pm. Just back from office a half hour ago. No P&G dusnt pay me enough to be slogging like this. But sometimes, (as the infamous by now) Tyrone taught me that investing that extra little bit can make all the difference to the quality of projects one works on ... and so we sat and slogged out over ideas ... also i guess at some level, i wouldnt have been able to sit there and actually enjoy it unless i loved writing SO much. Makes it easier to go through reams and reams of concepts and not tire of cleaning them, beautifying them, changing grammar and structure to ensure simplicity yet impact and all that jazz. Net - concept writing rocks. I'm hurting all over esp in the shoulders where the exhaustion painfully builds up, but i still am sharp and cheerful! :D Just yearning for a massage, but well, one cannot have it all.

What is it about keeping in touch? It almost physically hurts me to not talk to anyone through a whole day. Work is such a sanity rescuer coz it keeps me alive and ticking and in the midst of fun loving wonderful people. It redeems and reaffirms faith in myself, but more importantly, provides that much needed human contact that my mind craves for. Long hours of working from home inevitably leave me blue and silent in the evening - not sad, but not myself either. Inevitably end up spending a bit of time even on these days either talking to Kinks or Adrian or someone over the phone through meetings et al. Am i crazy? Or does this happen to normal people? What defines normal? Ah lets not even go there!!!

Have an intern for the first time. How do people do the whole being a boss thing? I feel so torn betwen giving him all the answers and letting him figure it all out on his own. Feels cruel to be making him spend precious time from this 2 month period gathering data that i can give him verbally with the added benefit of my 2 yr old perspective. Somehow Tyrone did it so bloody well with me. Stuck with the questions until he scared/ bullied/ provoked/ encouraged/ aided me to find the right answers until i got to a point where i could find them on my own. :) Being coached was like sitting in a cold room with warm sunshine shining through the window on my brain, i would watch fascinated as he explained the logic behind everything - which was ALWAYS unfailingly CRYSTAL CLEAR and drank in the meaning of his words, the principle based approach vs technique based approach, the 80 for 20, the casual everyday banter that made me feel like a friend vs a direct report... Now that's how a boss should be!!! God help me live up to the high the others in P&G have set!!!

What do most ppl have nightmares about? Mine are usually about tigers. Weird? Heck Yeah!!! Tigers surrounding some place im stuck in and waiting to devour me. Me sitting inside and devising 'strategies' to escape unhurt, sometimes with family or friends (inevitably the more i love them, the more likely they turn up in a tiger dream!) And this is ever since the age of like 6 or 7. Back then it was easy to ask mom to hug me tight and not let go, in IIMB it was easy to walk over to Sohits room or Kunals room and find them awake. What do i do when i break out in cold sweat in my room in singapore at 4.30 am when no one in India or Singapore is awake? Some form of contact, even sms feels so good at a time like this, and calling would be a blessing except that feeling of being a rotten person for shaking someone out of sleep through peaceful slumber .. so how? What do you do when you have nightmares?


So much for random rambling beyond decent hours. Am sleepyyy, in pain from the bunched up shoulder knots and stinky from a whole day in office!!! End benefit articulations and product technologies will surely haunt me today .. muchas better than tigers anyday i say!! :) Night everyone!!!

Sa re ga ma anyone?

Reporting live after first day of carnatic vocal training at the Singapore Indian Fine arts society.

Discoveries and conclusions:

- Humming sa re ga ma to the accompaniement of a harmonium in the background makes me sound WAY more melodious than i really am

- My sudden foray into the world of classical trained singing is more than a wee bit baffling to my instructor who through the class gave me such disbelieving looks that i spent the rest of class with my eyes closed

- Most Indian kids who learn carnatic music are in the age range of 6 to 10, which explains the aforementioned baffled looks

- I dont need to make a career out of this. Its the 1st time in my life im training for something that has no relevance to my career and yet i find myself taking it more seriously and enjoying it much more :)

- I dont suck entirely at singing. My bathroom singing will someday hold me in good stead in the world of music in the years to come (! if i continue with this newfound pursuit that is!)

- The hardest part isnt humming sa re ga with the teacher or even humming the series of 7 from sa to sa on my own .. the hardest part is recognizing the sa's and the re's outside the context of the 7 series .. bloody difficult and what my teacher has set as the min benchmark for us to hit before we move on to making music quite literally

- Singing of this kind has potential to induce calm and peace in the mind. :) As much as i enjoy rock, pop and the like, alai payuthe is still the only one with the power to propel my mind into stratospheres beyond the ordinary :)

Bliss is this :) ill continue to report as the days pass by .. till then sing with me .. Sa Re Ga ...

This time last year ... and before ..

Weird thought occurred to me as i stood outside Jade Cinema post a session of "provoked" (which isnt a bad movie .. one cud watch it in the absence of much better to do) .. what was i doing last year this time? And the year before? And the one before?

The thought probably occured coz ive always maintained that every phase of life was better than the previous .. and its always been true .. (by that logic tomorrow will be even better than today and i have reason to be delighted .. but thats a story we'll reserve for another day) .. which is why usually ive looked back and thought, how did i manage to get through that time at all? Obviously this doesn't discount or belittle the wonderful people who brought happiness into life, most of them are still around, its the circumstances im glad to not have anymore ...

Last year this time .. hmmm .. was actually a pretty good time except everyone wanted to price down everything and i was going crazy with all the chip allocationing!!! Then there were these ad hocs coming in that i couldnt care less about given i had interesting conversations with frnds to come home to .. so i actually felt bad about sitting in office!!! So work wise, it wasnt the best, otherwise pretty good. :)

The year before that .. hmm id jus made it to P&G and was waiting it out at home in Bombay so they would call me to Singapore soon and relieve me of the boredom that was home after 2 bloody fantastic years of being surrounded by people at IIMB. Took up random driving lessons which i never even completed .. and for sure id run down someone today if asked to drive to save my life ... which pretty much negates the body count in the universe and hence amounts to negative ROI on the effort of driving!! :P Also went to the dentist and the ENT for multiple sessions coz my gums and ears had been ignored for 2 yrs on campus and were kinda out of the running and in bad shape :( Sulked a lot that i was missing life on campus, chai and sundry others with friends, spoke to friends a LOT on the phone, caught up with relatives as if i was to die in the next month and id better take all their blessings before that happened, fought a LOT with the incredible loving woman that is my mom, gave my bro a hard time with sharing the room after 2 years .. accused him of being spoilt, accused my mom of spoiling him and accused dad of doing nothing (god i never knew i had such immense capacity for accusing!!! :D) Eventually P&G kinda gave in and said ok stop making life miserable for everyone .. come join us in bombay till we work out ur work permit for singapore .. and so i chugged to and fro from andheri to borivali by train for 2 weeks starting may .. talking to Tyrone over the phone everyday and feeling shit scared and breaking out into a cold sweat even though i hadnt officialy met him in person even (yes, imagine the effect he has on u in person!!! :PP Kidding .. hes the most adorable person ive ever met!!!.. more in another post) So essentially i started out on that thing they call a dream job, and i cant complain so far :)

Year before that, had just moved to Citibank for an internship. The fools put me in Madras, likely after looking at my surname (which technically isnt even my surname! the world needs SO much education on tams! yet another post on that one :) ) where i knew no one except nutan who lived miles away from Mount Road in secluded Adyar!!! Finally ended up living with the Dushyanth's adorable mom who was cool, conversation savvy and so like my own mom that half the days were a breeze thanks to her! The maid hated me.. but thats another story :D

Citi was a nightmare in many ways, although i made my first acquaintance with Aparna (who is now technically inner circle:)) and the lovely lady Pallavi Tyagi and had my first taste of corporate life, i was also shown the ugly side of bossdom by my 'wonderful' boss who saw nothing wrong with publicly insulting me and screaming at me loud enough for Aparna (who sat on the other side of the floor mind u) to hear. Nothing in my life has ever been that humiliating, i left that place feeling like the most stupid insignificant person in the world, and it took a brilliant real coach like Tyrone to redeem my faith in my abilities (seriously, he deserves a whole post here.. later though). I still came back post summers unsure of whether id like to go to Citi, figured i wud if they promised me i wont have to work with her :) THank god it never came to that .. thank god i work on Olay.. thank god tyrone worked on olay .. thank god for sooooo much that summer!! :D

Year before, had jus received calls from the IIMS, was touring south india when i found out B had accepted me .. did a mini dance on a main road in Trichy :DD So did Sandeep ... thought that was the best time of my life :) little did i know there was SOOO much left to be seen and enjoyed yet :DDD

Year before had jus about started prep for the CAT... life revolved around studies, assignments and the like .. shamu and i were best pals by now ... she'd turned into one of those ppl we call FPG (friend philosopher and guide), i know ppl find it tough to believe that kid can be P and G .. but beneath her silly exterior lies a grown up woman worthy of tremendous respect for her values and strength :)

Year before, had jus decided to take the CAT and was doing a lot of gen chilling. Dont even remember those days, so insignificant they were. No plans, no nothing. Just lots of travel to and fro college, studies on weekends, assignments and lots of friends made in the process .. some stayed .. soem didnt .. all for a reason i guess :) All i rbbr is thinking nothing in particular and everything in general :) and doing pretty badly in term exams coz the big play thing had jus happened .. now that was fun!!!

Year before? Oh it was 2nd term exams approaching, we were moving house, Sandeep was getting his sacred thread .. so we had the ceremony clashing with my mech crach courses and life in general was quite hectic. Incredibly, i scored the highest ever marks that term with a whopping 77% .. still dont knwo what the hell happened between me writing the paper and results being declared :) Someone was drunk, and it certainly wasn't me!!!

Year before? 1999.. HSC exams had jus gotten over and we were vacationing in Kulu and Manali as a family. MEt another fam on the way and had a fantastic time travelling together!!! I remember feeling terrible about how 'chubby' i was back then, and now look at me, im one mass of bones with a little bit of flesh in all the politically correct places! :) No wonder amma sighs each time she sees me after a long time and sets out on her mission of bringing back the color to my cheeks! :D

Year before, agarwal classes had probably jus started, studying for the 12th had jus picked up i think. Afternoon batches meant reaching Dadar at a sweltering 1 pm in the afternoon after navigating my way from Dadar TT to circle. And misplaced AC vents meant carrying a sweater to wear through classes for fear of freezing into extinction even before i had a chance to give the darned exam, prep for which was sucking the life out of me!!!

Year before, SSC exams had prob gotten over, mom was in hospital getting operated for a hernial (which because of many reasons, the family's negligence being prime, recurred in 2002 and had to be operated again, paavam amma!) and we did a little trip to a place called Bordi close to Bombay. All i remember of this place is lots of chickoos and trees with chickoos and a family in the adjacent room of the hotel that used a lot of foul language while refering to each other!! :O

Year before.. studying for class 10 .. quite a fun experience actually :) But so not worth mention :)

Year before and before and before ... Aprils meant summer vacation --> Id walk to the library outside my building while mom left for work at 9 am, borrow the thickest book i could find, come back home, sprawl out on the floor from 9.15 to 12 under the fan and READ ... jus read as much as i could, usually finish a typical Grisham in under 4 hours. Then have lunch, nap, pick up Sandeep from the bus stop, perform sisterly duties such as conjuring up his evening snacks and milk and in general boss around a lot :) Then we'd settle for a good one hour watching cartoon network together, esp Johnny Quest at 6 pm or so. And then the rest of the evening would be spent helping mom in the kitchen, gallivanting with friends, and meaningless television with family :)

I dont remember much about the summers before say 1995. Many were filled with vacations with the family to new places and were lots of fun. But, somehow life seemed to have started only after i turned 13 or so and academics assumed a strange centre stage in life :) Before that was a lot of drifting and being a kid like many others.

Without a doubt, if i had to point out the best time of my life, id say now! I loved my years at IIMB coz they shaped so much of who i am today. Amidst harsh judgement and brilliant minds, i was sculpted into a person even i like better today :) IIMB was unforgettable and yet the severing of the umbilical cord happened only when i started to work at P&G and moved to this wonderful city. Then on its been a roller coaster of sorts, admittedly there has been frustration, disappointment, loneliness, indifference and inertia along the ride, but more than anything there has been evolution, learning, discovery of the self, exhilaration, travel, achievement, independence and indulgence :) This, today, is what i know as the pinnacle of my life so far, and i hope to find reason to believe that things will only get better as i go on :)

Wish me luck!!!

We're all multi dimensional!!

OR... i just loveed playing around with this :)

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So why do they come and then leave?

Let me confess i didn't write this myself. My originality and self proclaimed creativity have taken a nose dive somewhere at the deep end of the ocean and although i have the usual hundred thoughts running through my head, i'm finding it tough to write anything sensible. Loved this fwd Shamu sent to me and thought everyone shud read it. Fits it very well with my paradigm on life, that a lot of it is goverened by destiny, and that we're given chances to influence it at certain junctures, and thats how the course of our lives are determined.

This one's about a common occurence, people who walk into our lives, bringing with them tremendous hope, joy and promise and then suddenly for some reason or another, it becomes tough for them to stay on. I know its supposed to be for a reason, yet have found myself wondering why and how i lost people i could actually use the word 'forever' wrt. This piece of writing sheds some light ...

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People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide y ou with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or dosomething to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.!

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept thelesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
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Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime :-)

Whats worse?

*vent post vent post vent post*

A refusal to make a promise out of fear that it cannot be kept? Or a promise made and not kept? Figured out there's one thing i hate more than people who turn up late, its people who dont keep promises. Even when given the chance to NOT MAKE the bloody promise, they go right ahead, make it and then dont bother to honor it. URK!

*vent post vent post vent post*

Who would you rather be?

Let me confess, weekends with nothing to do but sack around and laze off the week's flurry of work usualy result in me and S sitting to talk about everything from the most inane to the most relevant subjects of our time.

One of our favorites as 2 women living single lives in this house is obviously relationships. Mind you, thats relationships - NOT men! K came armed with ground breaking insights on men (which ill reserve for a later post after negotiating royalty terms with K) but S and I talk about relationships... and they always throw up these incredible questions which we usually take for granted, but are actually quite serious and can define one's happiness in life and in relationships.

So here's my list of popular questions .. with sneak peeks into my own answers ... Ive been trained well in writing with exit options so feel free to skip my answers, the questions are more important anyday!

But i'd love to hear from others, esp men (K biggest insight on men is they dont think, they dont like to think, it bothers them at a very basic level coz it takes effort, and so they keep themselves occupied playing sport, watching TV, working and sleeping but they DONT THINK about relationships).

Contrary to that, i've been spoilt rotten in my perceptions of men by the wonderful ones ive met in my own life, they've mostly been sensitive, patient and thoughtful people who love discussing anything under the sun. And since those are usually the ones who visit this blog it would be incredible to see if they've ever thought about these things ever!

Qn 1. Does it suffice that someone loves you or does it have to be for the right reasons?
AA1 (AA being Answer Attempt): Preferably for the right reasons. I'd be more comfortable knowing why someone says they love me and knowing that its a true perception of who I am, rather then them loving an illusion that i'm not. I'll be fair, its not always possible to know the "right reason", but broad principle is the love has to be rooted in someone you really are coz illusions are too temporary and can carry relationships only so far.


Context to Qn2: This one comes from the very factual interpretation that relationships will always have one person being more of the 'nurturer' and the other person being more of the 'recipient' of the nurturing. Scales of 'affection showered' will always be midly unbalanced and tilted heavier in favor of one party. (Oh get off ur high horses and quit telling me its cheap to think about relationships like that, everyone who gives something likes to get something in return, u can be unconditional most times, not ALL the time, so healthy balance is a desired end state like it or not!)

Qn 2. Would you rather be the one to love the other more? Or would you rather be the one loved more?
Do u want to be a Ms X who gets showered with tons and tons of attention and affection by her doting husband and basks in the sunshine that is his love? Or would you rather be a Ms Y i know who wouldn't want to be the recepient of so much adoration (coz it would make her feel too pursued and lose interest in the guy)! Do u wanna be a Mr Z who loves suprising his women and doing wonderful things for them and doesnt mind if they'd like to bask in it? Or would you rather be a Mr Q who is neither interested in giving nor receiving affection and regards all this as unnecessary waste of people's time and energy (and would probably like a woman who understands that)?


AA2: Id yearn for one where there's above average displays of affection from both ends (and yes thats different from PDA!!!) and really wouldn't mind being the one to do more of the showering affection, its just that im such a mom to most of my friends that i get spent taking care of others, and hence being taken care of at the end of the day and some good ol pampering (material or verbal) every once in a while while i continue to put in the sustaining tarps on affection is my idea of complete bliss :-)


Lemme clarify at the outset, we're not judging any of the above behaviours, heck, some of those could be us! Question is, do other people think about this before they walk into relationships? Or are me and Shals plain nuts indulging in what the thought abhorers would call 'intellectual overload'? And if we aren't quite nuts, then what are ur respective takes on this question?

And that's the primary questions i had for the day. Really looking fwd to reading ppls views on these, and yes ive called out to the men more specifically but i hope that doesnt stop the women of the world from responding!

Do you love yourself enough?

{ At the outset, let me clarify, my state of mind is fairly clear, but my writing is more than a little muddled. Its simple writer's block and will wane in time. Until then, don't give up hope on me - not yet! Ill bounce right back in a week or so with some gems :) }

Its a thin line like so many others. Do we really love ourselves enough?

Genesis of the question is well - friends who practically kill themselves working hard and long hours, friends who lose who they are completely because they're trying so hard to become worthy of somebody else's conditional love, friends who're so caught up in pleasing other friends that they simply cannot decline invitations to social gatherings, vacations and events that they personally couldn't care less about but their friends love so much.

Which makes me wonder, where do we cross the line from being a good employee, an adjusting partner and a understanding friend to losing our identity, space and soul for someone else, sometimes in the vain hope that if we change enough for them, they'll sit up, take notice and do the same themselves OR simply cause we never thought there was a better way?

In my rant about 5 key life roles, i'd mentioned that some people consciously call out one key role as the 'self'. I'm one of them. Is this because i'm more enlightened than others? Nah!!! Its coz if i didnt make this a conscious choice, then i'd get even more sucked up into doing things and living my life for other people and for my job. And then id wake up at 50 and go "CRAP!!, what did i do for myself all these years?", coz there's no guarantee anything else will stay. Jobs change, friends come and go, spouses are maybe somewhat more permanent, but their undying interest in your life and activities will wane at some point right? And then what? You'll realize too late that everything you naively built a life around and constructed dreams around has vanished and you've got nothing to call your own.

So my advice to people who feel like they spend more than 90% devoted to things outside of themselves, let there always be something you do that constitutes the core of who you really are - an activity that lets you discover inner talents, special friends who cherish the core of you as it is with no ulterior motives to change you, a hobby that makes u feel energized and worthwhile, anything that makes you touch base with YOU. Yes you're always going to feel like a good reason to give it up - a demanding job, insistent friends and the like, but a current intervention is always more useful than some future regret :-)

What kind of day should it be today?

For once, i have nothing more to say.

Sunset? Or Sunrise?

100 bucks to anyone who can point out if this is the start of a new day or the end of an old one. Im struggling to understand it myself. Funny thing is when I google for sunset, the pics look no different from when I google for sunrise. I love metaphors, don't you?

The best moments of my life ..

For some moments, there's pictures coz words wudnt do justice, for some others, there's words cause pictures i dont have ... In random order of chronology ..

Sai and me .. talking about life, love, success, dreams and the like ... evenings spent in A 315 basking in the glow of my favorite lamps .. one of them gifted by Sai himself .. listening to 'Aahista Aahista' as the sun set on us .. Sai, my friend, philosopher and the closest thing to a spiritual guide i'll ever have. Sai who i havent spoken to in ages, but who im sure can sense my state of mind on a daily basis even from the distance.

23rd birthday, right after my summers, and Sh came to campus - a visiting. N took her out on his bike to buy my gift apparently, and as is with every woman who goes on a bike with him (exceptions to be made only for sister like souls), they got lost and spent a good 2 hours more than was needed to buy my gifts and return to campus. Anyway, they hosted this mini surprise thing at CCday on campus for me, chocolate cake et al.. and the brothers wore what i'd picked up for them with my first ever pay from Citi summers. Lets give sh her credit here .. it was all her idea!!! Im not putting up her snap coz i look nicer than her in it and thats a very wrong depiction of reality (meaning, in reality, sh is much much prettier than i am, altho ill never admit it to her!)

Vacation with my folks in Kunoor, a landmark trip this one .. for many reasons, anyway .. the family had an amazing time. I love mountains and so does, i suspect, my mom. My bro and dad are fairly indifferent to external stimulus so i wont even get into what they thought of it. But the views were great (or maybe i was seeing everything in pink light!) and we had some fun talks as a family, something we hadnt done since our trip to manali in 1999! FYI - Sandy rarely smiles genuinely in his snaps, most times hes trying real hard to look like a super cool dude :-)

With S& K at home in Singapore, we've had our best times on weekends wen we would first wait for K to wake up after her Friday night out partying, then from 10 am or so until like 1 pm we'd just sit and talk! We'd go in and out of topics, flitting effortlessly across topics - love, men, friends, work, happiness! Incredible times, that brought me and S much closer than id ever imagined, and we still miss K in our lives and wish weekend mornings could be the same!

To be continued ....

Ayers rock .. and sundry others ..

Anand recently went on vacation to Queenstown, Australia. When he was back I overheard him telling someone about how he got to the Ayer's rock and how it was a stunning spectacle. The Ayer's rock actually has some really fond memories for me - few fond memories of the time i spent at Citibank Chennai, most of which was spent cowering from sheer fright of the person who was my guide through the project.

So there's this one day when a team of Australian Citibankers arrive to understand how Citi India does business - esp the e banking aspect. So after the routine of taking them around the place, showing them systems and processes to wow them etc, dinner was set at this fancy restaurant and in Sriram's classic style, dinner wasn't just dinner. Rajeev Rai, an avid quizzer (Chennaites, esp quizzers will recognize his name) who was then the manager for the Acquisitions team was asked to organize a special quiz based on Australia for the whole internet banking team. And so he did.

So we all saunter into this nice place, see a lavish spread of food and dessert laid out, but are herded into this big circular chair formation where we're supposed to split into teams for the quiz. Now had I known this a little earlier, i might have done some background research on who in the team had a remote chance of winning and would've placed myself as such. Turns out, my luck wasn't too bad anyway. I was seated next to 1 certified quizzing enthusiast, lets call him Mr B, and another chap who in course of the quiz demonstrated his penchant for trivia. Lets call him Mr M. Now i didnt think too lowly of my own knowledge of trivia (then again, i hadnt ever been in a competitive quizzing environment before! Ignorance is bliss indeed! :-)) So I look at B and M and wonder how itll all pan out. (If u havent figured this out about me yet, let me just state it plainly - I LOVE winning. Im a monica in that sense. I put achievement over enjoyment in competitive scenarios. We'll delve into the how's and why's of my childhood influences some other day) Anyway, our quiz begins.

As time progresses, i realize im seated with a bunch of astoundingly trivia friendly guys! B and M are totally cracking the scene so to speak! Answer after answer, they didn't even spare the passes that came our way. Suffice to say, i was fairly elated, but at some level i was rather ashamed of how little i was contributing (ok let me not sugar coat this - i had answered NOTHING 45 minutes into the quiz) and we were probably on the last round or so. So im kinda trying to hide my shameful face behind nearby chairs etc, while B and M happily go on cracking the quiz.

And then came my moment. This was i think the last question or so for the quiz, and it came right to our team. Something about a stone that changes color. And i knew this one!!! Heart pounding i practically jumped over B and M trying to ensure that my answer got through even before theirs, just so they could know i wasnt a COMPLETE loser after all! And the answer was the title of this blog of course - the color changing Ayer's rock. They grinned and patted me on the back (i was after all the summer intern kid who had just made them proud!) and we noted that we'd officially won the quiz.

Thing i remember is them giving out gifts a day or so later. And the gift was a whopping 1000 Rs worth of Landmark vouchers per head. I'd never won anything this big EVER before in my life! And i knew i owed it to these 2 Citibankers who carried our team on their shoulders. I did of course meekly walk up to both and tell them how grateful i was, and how i knew id done very little to be partaking of the voucher. The response was standardly sweet - "Oh dont mention it! Enjoy ur voucher! ". And enjoy it i did! I spent every penny of that thing buying gifts for friends and family and had a blast doing so! (I dont use vouchers for myself - its strange but true! I spend cash on me, but can never find the heart to spend vouchers on me! Im so weird!!!)

Later found out that the vouchers were an afterthought really. Apparently B was mildly drunk by the time the quiz was over (trust naive me to NOT notice!) and in an open gathering asked Sriram "So when are we getting our prizes". Not surprisingly, Sriram shot him a cold glare at that point, but true to his really cool self, gave out this awesome prize later that week. :-)

And thats my story on the Ayer's rock! :D

Why its good to spend time with children

R is a 2 year old who lives in my condo. (Its only incidental tht his dad was my 1st boss). R's the kind of kid who walks around with this perpetual grin on his face and is happy to meet new people and animals alike!!! One of the few kids who did not wince when he met our Leo for the 1st time, instead ran toward him and sent him scurrying (away from the exciting child going for his furry tail!) and who didn't hesistate one bit to let himself be carried by yours truly when he 1st met me! R truly delights me with his sense of enthusiasm for everything around, and his ability to make me feel like the coolest aunt person in the world coz he has a blast everytime we're together! :-) He loves the soft toys in my room, gauges everything hung on our walls with a sense of childlike awe, follows Leo around, and makes conversation with me about cars, big cars, reallly big cars, blue cars (he thinks its a type vs color of car), kats (thats Cats mind u), big kats (thats lions on animal planet), about kaka (Re, his nanny), papa and mama and very importantly about shoes, papa's and mama's. All very deep and meaningful conversations mind you, which leave me brilliantly refreshed even after a lousy long day at work.

V and D are nephews of my flatmate and friend S. The kiddos live in Singapore a little away from where we live and they visit occasionally. Its another thing that they're so cute that Nayak mentioned tht they shud probably be child models. But V at 4 and D at 1 have the same effect on me as R does i.e. they leave me feeling completely relaxed and chilled vs. exhausted and tense when theyve spent a few hours in our house. At 1, D is obviously much easier to captivate. And i know he gets me, although he dusnt quite have the linguistic ability to express it yet :-) But oh the smiles he gives me, melt my heart and make my spirit do a 20 feet high jump in the air with no support to land back on :D Everything from my nose to the shampoo on my shelf are intriguing to him. :-) And V at 4 takes a little more intelligence and a little less gibberish. He needs to be treated like an adult and spoken to with respect. But in return he rewards me with incredible smiles and child tricks (and yes the 'you're such an adorable aunt' look).

Now here's the magical thing about kids, they have this incredible ability to send ur blues flying out the window and replace it with enthusiasm and optimism and laughter. :-) The risk i run with adults while im going thru a rough patch (which in my case has been ongoing for what - 3 months now?) is of transferring my blues to them when im actually trying to shake them off myself. But with kids, that never ever happens!!! Their guileless attempts at making you laugh can never ever fail coz the attempt comes from such a pure heart and from unconditional admiration and love for the person that you are!!! So vs. u passing on ur blues to them, they pass on their pinks to u!!! :-) Oh watta brilliant way to live life!!! :D Yes im sure its shadowed by the diaper changing and the crying etc that will entail actually having my own kids, but cmon, any mom will agree that the joy of having their love overpowers anything else that you can feel!

And thats the insight ive found about myself. The reason i love kids, is coz i love being adored and respected. Cause i get that unquestioningly from children when i give them my unconditonal affection. Which is much more than i can ever say of any adults except perhaps my mom. I love that wide eyed look kids have when im reading stories to them at the library. I love the happy curiosity my kiddo friends in the condo demonstrate when i show them new stuff - lights being switched on and off, feeling the breeze in the open garden, flowers, my friends, our dog, my room, my laptop, the TV ... everything i do gets incredible returns with children - return on optimism and joy. They're interested in everything i have to say and im their hero .. yes it takes more than average patience, but i guess the patience that i usually never find with adults manifests itself in unbound abundance when im with children, and so its never an issue. So long as i find them willing to love me, and unquestioningly so, i can find it in me to keep them entertained, learning and engaged :-)

Its why id rather just have children than get married. Coz despite all the wonderful men ive met in my life, (friends, brothers, fathers, bosses) 'unconditional' is a word that only kids have managed to translate into action. :-)