tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9881292.post1183593112013666990..comments2023-09-05T23:51:24.808+08:00Comments on Mystic Pizza: Think long, and think now ...unpredictablehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04529471646372395784noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9881292.post-15385115627531559902007-03-26T16:36:00.000+08:002007-03-26T16:36:00.000+08:00u and i have spoken many timeeesss about this sham...u and i have spoken many timeeesss about this shams .. maybe we shud meet up to talk in more detail :)unpredictablehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04529471646372395784noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9881292.post-90909422351600369962007-03-26T13:52:00.000+08:002007-03-26T13:52:00.000+08:00heyy.. a thot everyone needs to focus at this poin...heyy.. a thot everyone needs to focus at this point in time in their lives... But the problem I believe is that you cannot decide the importance of roles inspite of being honest...<BR/><BR/>Like WORK - it is something that just gets bread for me on the table, but would you say the same thing say when you are at the bottom rung of the ladder and have a lot to do to justify your potential... at this point in time say, your other roles too need attention... friend going through crisis, family needs your attention... Dropping any role here (say work not a priority and not get a project as per your potential or family/friend and then live with the guilt that you were not available) is just impossible.... what do you do then - the way out is only working yourself out... And for some reason if you dont want to work yourself out, you tend to de-priortise that role where the ppl involved can be taken for granted -and more often than not they are the most key ppl in your life... OR you stop doing anything for yourself... <BR/><BR/>I would love to achieve this balance but I am very sure I wont be able to - atleast not now when I am struggling to make a mark... a pessimistic attitude you might say - but I want to believe that it is a realistic one...Sharmilihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16981332194403232338noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9881292.post-12115459674507166602007-03-24T23:10:00.000+08:002007-03-24T23:10:00.000+08:00Hey Suds,Nice thoughts, and well put in words. I r...Hey Suds,<BR/><BR/>Nice thoughts, and well put in words. I really like the idea of 5 key roles and how you suggest their prioritization. <BR/><BR/>Ive been thinking: is "what Id like to be remembered as" the right question to ask when choosing the roles/ priorities? I think differently, my starting point is always HAPPINESS- it comes from fulfilling key roles (son, friend and a family man), but all the same also comes from certain introverted desires like doing justice to my talents. I wudnt exactly want to be remembered as a writer, but it gives me immense satisfaction when I write a good piece and I feel Ive done justice to my skills. May be the right question to ask is "10 years later, how would I have wanted to spend my 20th-30th yrs?" My answer is Id have loved to have travelled the world, done well in my career, still managed to be in touch with my best friends and had a lot of fun- these then become my current priorities. <BR/><BR/>I really like the point abt being honest- we often are forced to leave certain roles as u rightly said, but the heartache associated with that can be avoided if we consciously dropped them admitting to ourselves that we are not superhumans. All the same, I agree with Anon- the no of roles one can fulfil is a very personal thing. Also the number of instances of each role that you are fulfilling (no of friends, no of talents you are doing justice to)depends on your own energy level and enthusiasm. For some the ideal no is 3, for others its 10. Just like one must decide which roles to focus on, one must also have the judgement to know how many he/ she can do justice to. <BR/><BR/>Finally, as is obvious from your post, most of us have a problem with the career role- we tend to give it too much importance without realizing the significance of our other roles. I think its because it is so measurable (salary, position, wealth etc) as compared to your personal successes (most personal failures dont even come into light unless theres a critical event like a divorce or a public spat with a close friend).<BR/><BR/>Sorry for the long comment, and keep up the amazing thought-inducing writings!<BR/><BR/>xxx.Atticushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17618329083722223553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9881292.post-30676386771458971162007-03-24T22:47:00.000+08:002007-03-24T22:47:00.000+08:00Hey ketan!! Yeah u cant pls everyone all the time,...Hey ketan!! Yeah u cant pls everyone all the time, so u choose who u will please most times :) those r ur key stakeholders right? <BR/><BR/>As nayak says, there will always be an expectation mismatch, but being the understanding ppl that we largely are, mismatches can be managed most times with dialogue .. <BR/><BR/>Very interesting thought on whether it matters enuff to the counterpart too ... i didnt explicitly touch on it .. but yeah, treating someone as imp when in fact they dont care enuff wud be a massive let down eh! :-) Thanks for ur comments!unpredictablehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04529471646372395784noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9881292.post-89743221687486665342007-03-24T21:36:00.000+08:002007-03-24T21:36:00.000+08:00interesting food for thought.when you talk abt 5 r...interesting food for thought.<BR/>when you talk abt 5 roles and not meeting each roles' expectations, <BR/>one thing i know is that you cant please all the people at all the time.<BR/><BR/>personal relations like parents n siblings are the most forgiving even when you falter.<BR/>however, professional relations are the least forgiving.<BR/>friends come in between the 2 - close friends could be highly forgiving, but acquaintances are quick to criticise.<BR/><BR/>the question is whether you can identify which relationship or role matters most to you, and if it matters for the counterparty too?<BR/>as much as you love your organisation, or friend or soulmate or parents, do they love you that much in return?<BR/><BR/>as i said first, interesting food for thought :)Monsieur Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13826042509914905959noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9881292.post-2376029429828195142007-03-24T10:46:00.000+08:002007-03-24T10:46:00.000+08:00First of all .. stop asking me qns like im a psych...First of all .. stop asking me qns like im a psych!!! Im no shrink or qualified doc .. This is how Jim LAfferty talks ... <BR/><BR/>Next .. if u choose to give some roles more weight than others, let that be an active conscious CHOICE vs a realization in hindsight. And be honest with urself abt that choice. <BR/><BR/>Finally, if ur role dusnt think ur doing enuff, then it dusnt mean u run away or tht ur scrwed up or tht theyre screwed up!!! It means talking to figure out a win win .. NOT a compromise!! If this persons really so imp, then lets give them some credit for being understanding shall we? And lets give u some credit for not being a monster too :-) <BR/><BR/>BIg hug!!! ((())))) Sack all day dude! Ill bring leo over once more to keep u company :)unpredictablehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04529471646372395784noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9881292.post-39184982769808601882007-03-24T10:40:00.000+08:002007-03-24T10:40:00.000+08:00I'm reading ur blog after a week or so. went thru ...I'm reading ur blog after a week or so. went thru all of the ones i'd missed. And i Missed them :)<BR/><BR/>I had a question on the 5 roles. What if ur giving more weightage to one of the 5 roles in ur life. is that ok?<BR/>One more question - what if u think ur doing the best u cud in one of ur roles, but the 'role' doesnt think so (ex: ur mom doesnt think so). does that mean u arent doing a good job. not possible to meet expectations all the time right? then?<BR/><BR/>i woke up saturday morning. very sleepy. very bored. and very sad. and all i want to do all day is ... i dunno.. hmm.. help!!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9881292.post-46045581038904529242007-03-24T08:07:00.000+08:002007-03-24T08:07:00.000+08:00:) Thanks for ur note anon, id just introduce one ...:) Thanks for ur note anon, id just introduce one caveat, i think the only people who have the right to claim that someone's managing a role with 'ease and grace'are the persons key stakeholders in those roles, its not only about whether u feel ur doing enough, its also about whether ur stakeholders feel fulfilled, for e.g. if colleagues at work think i manage my work with 'ease and grace' in appearance and yet if it was taking a toll on my how on my parents felt about their importance in my life, all that ease and grace wud amount to little, id still be doing my role as a daugther badly. :)unpredictablehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04529471646372395784noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9881292.post-78050058884873663182007-03-24T00:37:00.000+08:002007-03-24T00:37:00.000+08:00Well said - indeed its just one life. But I would...Well said - indeed its just one life. But I would have to disagree with you on the 5-role thing. Mosly people (by the time they are 30) have more than 5 roles. And there are quite a few people I know who handle them all with ease and grace. In my opinion, no role needs to be deprioritized. Its only a "point-in-time" perspective :)<BR/><BR/>That apart your note on "reinvesting" cracked me up :DAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com